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July 16th, 2005, 12:10 PM #1Tom's A Chicken....
I took a look around and didn't see this one posted here, so here goes...
Tom did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. Soon, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe standing in front of his bed.
"What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?...and who are you?" he asked.
"This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven."
"WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young," said Tom. "I want you to send me back immediately."
"It's not that easy", said St. Peter. "You can only return as a dog or a hen. The choice is your own."
Tom thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad.
"I want to return as a hen," Tom replied.
And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow. Then along came the rooster.
"Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about," he said "How do you like being a hen?"
"Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my ass is about to explode."
"Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. You need to lay an egg."
"How do I do that?" Tom asked.
"Cluck twice, and then you push as hard as you can."
Tom clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and then 'plop' an egg was on the ground.
"Wow" Tom said. "That felt really good!" So he clucked again and squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout:
"Tom, for Christ's sake! Wake up! You're shitting all over the bed!"
"All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy."
"Work to become, not to acquire." -- Confucius
July 16th, 2005, 02:39 PM #2++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
that's my2cents, 'cuz I'm a legend in my own mind....
July 16th, 2005, 02:54 PM #3
July 16th, 2005, 02:59 PM #4
LOL I like that oneOne day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer
July 20th, 2005, 07:24 AM #5
- Join Date
- February 28th, 2005
- Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
LOL...Very cute...I like that one a lot...
I wonder what would have happened if he'd chosen to be a dog?
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