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  1. #1
    Plazan Merchant Neil's Avatar
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    finger in your butt
    It just goes to show you should always follow instructions
    carefully!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy
    class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery
    table with the body covered with a white sheet.

    The professor began the lecture by telling them: "In medicine, it is
    necessary to possess two important qualities as a doctor:

    The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human
    body."

    To illustrate, he pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the anus
    of the corpse, withdrew it, and stuck it in his mouth.
    Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.

    The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually
    took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking
    on it.
    When everyone finished, the professor looked at them and said, "The
    second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle
    finger and sucked on my index finger".

    Now learn to pay attention."
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  2. #2
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    ...
    Hahaha!
    That's a good one

  3. #3
    AM Navigator Geno Prussakov's Avatar
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    That's baaaaad, Neil...

  4. #4
    Plazan Merchant Neil's Avatar
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    i got it in an email today !!
    it made me laugh
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  5. #5
    ABW Ambassador Andy's Avatar
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    Oh, when I saw the title of this thread, I thought it was a joke about Bush.

    Probably wouldn't want those Med Students dealing with too many real patients, though...at least until they get a little common sense.

  6. #6
    Resident Genius and Staunch Capitalist Leader's Avatar
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    I always get a sadistic satisfaction out of that joke. I'd love be the instructor and do that to some unobservant putzes!

    Some people are so darned numbly unobservant, that if they died and went to another realm, they would only have a vague (or no) recollection of having been alive at all...and this would not be because of any post-death mind-wipe effect.
    There is no knowledge that is not power. ~Hemingway

  7. #7
    Lite On The Do, Heavy On The Nuts Donuts's Avatar
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    Verna
    Quote Originally Posted by Leader
    I always get a sadistic satisfaction out of that joke. I'd love be the instructor and do that to some unobservant putzes!
    Exactly what I was thinking...

    Some people are so darned numbly unobservant, that if they died and went to another realm, they would only have a vague (or no) recollection of having been alive at all...and this would not be because of any post-death mind-wipe effect.
    I've seen this "Verna" factor... I knew a women named Verna who was so completely unaware of the physical world around her that I could laugh loudly (she didn't know why I was laughing) at her behavior and reactions (not reacting actually...) to the things around us both. I once saw a kid wet his pants while sitting in Verna's lap... Verna's pants were wet down to her shins as she sat and read the kid a book... when she finally got up off the couch - like an hour later - she didn't even notice that her pants were wet... I could almost taste the urine cuz the stench was so potent in the room and she had this gigantic wet spot covering 75% of her beige slacks... she went into the kitchen to start fixing some food and just set the child on the floor to play...

    When I told her husband to change the kid's pants and to tell Verna, he just said "why?"... he was Verna-esque as well... bet you could have guessed that! These were the funniest people I ever spent time around (and they didn't even know it).

    I was in Verna's car once riding in the backseat and I found a half-eaten loaf of italian bread in the backseat - on the floor - it had been there a while... I handed it to her (she was in the driver's seat) and before I could tell her I found it on the floor board, she took a bite and said thanks and then kept on talking without missing a beat... like I had just given her a treat or a present... I thought I was going to wet my pants and then, when I thought of the irony of the Verna's previous pants-wetting incident I had witnessed, and the possibility that I may wet myself over the bread "present" I just gave her, I almost did...

    She was a living exception to Darwin's theories... why she had never accidentally stepped in front of a bus or something was beyond ALL reason... and, btw, me getting into her backseat was quite a thrill - her driving made you feel alive!

    She once bought a clothes dryer for her home - I helped her husband pick it up and bring it into the garage. As I went to help him hook it up, I noticed it was electric and they needed a gas dryer! They asked me what to do... I said to take it back right away. Verna told me her Dad once sold their old dryer (but this dryer was 20 minutes old!)... she asked me what I thought she could sell it for... I offered her $50 cash for it (my dryer was old and needed replacing)... she had paid several hundred a few hours before... she sold it to me! I felt guilty at first, so a few days later I gave her husband a check for the sale amount less the $50 cash I had paid them on the spot... he took my check, but it was never cashed. I asked Verna about it a few months after (she "kept" the family books and I use the term loosely) and she had no idea what I was talking about. Her husband didn't remember the check... they remembered that I bought the "used" dryer but where very confused by the whole "check" discussion... I tried to give them cash but they thought they owed me money for helping them get their second (electric) dryer home and installed properly. So I found myself telling them they didn't need to pay me...

    Mind you, these people both had decent jobs and a house and kids and driver's licenses and credit cards and the whole thing we call life's stuff - they were not handicapped (in the eyes of the law or their doctors) - so don't go accusing me of swindling the retarded... I tried to pay them - it was so painful to explain it to them... and I kept laughing along the way at the insanity of reasoning with them... they probably think I'm a "jolly guy" laughing all the time...

    I haven't seen her in more than 10 years - I miss her. My kids LOVE hearing Verna stories! And I've come to envy her in a way... her obliviousness epitomizes the "ignorance is bliss" theory of life... as I wrestle and toil and pang my days away, she's undoubtedly as happy as a lark where ever she is. Thinking of her makes me smile. So Leader, thanks! You sparked me to have some Verna memories this morning - and they are such sweet memories!

  8. #8
    Plazan Merchant Neil's Avatar
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    Great story Donuts.
    it brought a smile to my face
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  9. #9
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Donuts
    Mind you, these people both had decent jobs .

    These would be the bank tellers and insurance adjusters?
    Peace,

    Rexanne

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    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


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