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  1. #1
    ABW Ambassador JJJay's Avatar
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    Things women say!!!
    FINE
    This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

    FIVE MINUTES
    If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.


    NOTHING
    This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"


    GO AHEAD
    This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.


    LOUD SIGH
    This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"


    THAT'S OKAY
    This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.


    THANKS
    A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.


    WHATEVER
    It's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!

  2. #2
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JJJay

    GO AHEAD
    This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

    !

    LOL - so true ;-)
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  3. #3
    Plazan Merchant Neil's Avatar
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    all very true
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  4. #4
    Moderator MichaelColey's Avatar
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    Good ones!

    Quote Originally Posted by JJJay
    FIVE MINUTES
    If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
    And if you think "Five Minutes" is a long time when she's getting dressed, that's nothing compared to a "Five Minute" Honey Do. Those can take half a day of work. "Honey, let's clean the garage out today. It'll only take five minutes."
    Michael Coley
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  5. #5
    Affiliate Miester my2cents's Avatar
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    The funny thing is we men who are or have been married have learned this the hard way... yet, when it comes time to interact with a woman we forget the most basic things...like FINE, NOTHING, THAT'S OK and my alltime favorite WHATEVER....

    Joe
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    that's my2cents, 'cuz I'm a legend in my own mind....

  6. #6
    Affiliate Miester my2cents's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MichaelColey
    "Honey, let's clean the garage out today. It'll only take five minutes."
    I just went through this... it took 3 whole days just to find the back of the garage...

    2 weeks later I still have a pile in the driveway that I'm not sure what I am suppose to do with... I just know it can't go back in the garage...

    JOe
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    that's my2cents, 'cuz I'm a legend in my own mind....

  7. #7
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
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    Beware of the 'collective' we in a sentence, as in:

    "Isn't it time WE mowed the lawn?"

    Let me tell you, there's nothing collective in her intentions, it's all about ME!!!

    Good list, heh.
    Following everyone else is a GREAT way to become average.

  8. #8
    ABW Ambassador Ron Bechdolt's Avatar
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    Wow, it's like you had a live camera in my house all these years.

    And the "Isn't it time WE mowed the lawn?"!!! I've learned anytime my wife says "We", it means me.

    We should call the school, We should paint the house, We should run into a brick wall at 100 mph!!!!

    Now, who has the list of what men say and what it really means??? Bet there is an equally good one out there.
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  9. #9
    Moderator MichaelColey's Avatar
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    What a Guy Really Means When He Says...

    "I'm going fishing." Really means... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

    "It's a guy thing." Really means.... "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

    "Can I help with dinner?" Really means.... "Why isn't it already on the table?"

    "Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear." Really means.... Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

    "It would take too long to explain." Really means.... "I have no idea how it works."

    "I'm getting more exercise lately." Really means... "The batteries in the remote are dead."

    "We're going to be late." Really means... "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a
    maniac."

    "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." Really means...."I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

    "That's interesting, dear." Really means.... "Are you still talking?"

    "You know how bad my memory is." Really means.... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

    "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal." Really means... "I have severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I
    admit I'm hurt."

    "I do help around the house." Really means.... "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."

    "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing." Really means.... "I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon."

    "What did I do this time?" Really means.... "What did you catch me doing?"

    "I heard you." Really means.... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

    "You look terrific." Really means... "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm
    starving."

    "I missed you." Really means.... "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."

    "I don't need to read the instructions." Really means.... "I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."

    "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are." Really means... "I'm lost. I have no idea where we are, and no one will ever
    see us alive again."
    Michael Coley
    Amazing-Bargains.com
     Affiliate Tips | Merchant Best Practices | Affiliate Friendly? | Couponing | CPA Networks? | ABW Tips | Activating Affiliates
    "Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world." Nelson Mandela

  10. #10
    ABW Ambassador JudiMoore's Avatar
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    Michael, those are all good but what you could have meant for this one was:
    "I once put a wet towel somewhere other than on the bed."

    Oh, and that 5 minute thing that started this thread? The definition of eternity is the two minute warning in a football game.

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