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  1. #1
    Web Ho - Design B!tch ~Michelle's Avatar
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    Favorite one-liners or things your parents/grand parents used to say?
    I was just thinking about some of the old timer phrases that we still hear today.

    For example, here are some that I have heard people say and catch myself saying a few myself:

    "It's colder than a witches tit"

    "It's colder than a well diggers a$$"

    "He could eat the floor boards off a manure spreader."

    "Busier than a one armed paper hanger"

    "Busier than a one legged man in an a$$ kicking contest"

    "Madder than a wet hen"

    "Full of piss and vinegar"

    "Built like a brick sh*thouse"

    "Wound up like a 2 dollar clock"

    "Hornier than a 2 peckered billy goat"

    "Dumber than a box or rocks"



    What ones come to mind for you?
    ~Michelle
    "All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy."
    "Work to become, not to acquire." -- Confucius

  2. #2
    Internet Cowboy
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    It's all fuin and games until someone loses an eye!


  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador Sheri's Avatar
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    There are so many, and I don't have time to list more now, I just remember the colder than a witches tit one being...

    Colder than a witches tit in a brass bra.

    Sheri

  4. #4
    Moderator BurgerBoy's Avatar
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    How about - shut up and go find something to do or I'm going to call you mother and tell her to come and get you and take you home.

    Vietnam Veteran 1966-1970 USASA
    ABW Forum Rules - Advertise At ABW

  5. #5
    Member
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    It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings

    You can't finish what you don't start

    The early bird gets the worm

    A penny saved is a dollar earned

    Can't never could

    Don't count your chickens before they hatch

    If a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his a$$ when he lands

    When it rains it pours

  6. #6
    The slot machine that IS paid! Billy Kay's Avatar
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    From my dad;

    It's silent... like the "P" in beer

  7. #7
    Prince of Content Vinny O'Hare's Avatar
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    no one is going to get off a horse to look at it.

    Grandmother use to say that all the time. It didn't matter if you were combing your hair or painting a fence.
    Vinny O'Hare - OPM - Contact Info email: vinny at teamloxly.com ~ 702-582-6742 Twitter

  8. #8
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    You made the bed; Now lay in it.

    Gonna be a 3 dog night ( refers to how many dogs to sleep with to keep from freezing)

    Take time to smell the roses

    Can't see the forest for the trees

    A few bricks short of a load

  9. #9
    Affiliate Manager inflatemouse's Avatar
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    If it's not worth doing, it's not worth doing right.
    If I ever give a (_insert_explitive_) you will be the first one I give it to.

    If you have time to lean, you have time to clean.
    If you have time to do it twice, you have time to do it right.

    I come from a very subjunctive family.

  10. #10
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    My Mom's favorite. Can't P*ss for Shittin'.
    Black Georgians used to say that a lot.

    It's vulgar, but it really doesn't imply bodily functions. You say it when you are trying to do something that you really need done, and some bullsh*t comes up.

    Mom used it if she would get a sudden windfall, then would have to pay a big bill. One could use it if you get that date, then you have to work that night.

  11. #11
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    We ain't got a pot to pee in let alone a window to throw it out.

    His elevator don't quite make the top floor

  12. #12
    ABW Ambassador
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    I don't know how many times while growing up I heard my dad say, "when I was a boy...." damn, that got old...

  13. #13
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    LOL Yup.
    "when I was your age, I had to walk 6 miles in the snow, barefoot, just to get to school ... why can't you appreciate ..."

  14. #14
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    If I told you once, I've told you a thousand times.

    Do as I say not as I do.

    This is my house...

    Dumber than a coal bucket.

    Hotter than hell.

    For the love of God.

    You really take the cake.

    Back in the day...

    When I was growing up...

    Two peas in a pod.

    When horses fly.

    Use your head.

  15. #15
    ABW Founder Haiko de Poel, Jr.'s Avatar
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    The aplpe doesn't fall far from the tree.
    Continued Success,

    Haiko
    The secret of success is constancy of purpose ~ Disraeli

  16. #16
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    you're as
    thick as two short planks
    bent as a nine bob note
    as twisted as the Chesterfield church spire
    as thick as pig sh*t
    as tight as a nuns c*nt
    p*ssing against the wind

    and some odd ones
    its hotter than hell
    you've got thumbs like a shoemaker
    its as black as a n*ggers *rseole (popular before it became antisocial)
    tell it to someone who's interested
    its cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey
    don't come moaning to me if it kills you
    One day parasites and their ilk will be made illegal, I bet a few Lawyers will be pissed off when the day comes.
    Mr. Spitzer is fetching it nearer

    YouTrek

  17. #17
    Member
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    Put up or shut up

    If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem

    Hindsight is 20/20

    If you have nothing good to say, don't speak

    It is better for you to appear foolish than to speak up and remove all doubt

    Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who do

    As long as you live under my roof ... (ouch, that struck nerves!)

  18. #18
    ABW Founder Haiko de Poel, Jr.'s Avatar
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    Children should be seen, not heard.
    Continued Success,

    Haiko
    The secret of success is constancy of purpose ~ Disraeli

  19. #19
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    "I don't care what he said! You should not have taken his shoes off him and thrown them in the briar patch and ...."
    But I digress ... probably more so a personal repetitive saying than a common shot at instilling life structure by the elders

  20. #20
    MasterMike HardwareGeek's Avatar
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    I found you in a garbage can
    You were born at the animal hospital
    You're to ugly to be my kid

  21. #21
    ABW Ambassador Paul_Ward's Avatar
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    in reply to "I don't know what to do.." - "Stand on your head and s*it in your shoe"

    Mad as a box of frogs

    Either s*it or get off the pan

    Black over Bill's mother's (in response to a darkening storm sky)

    Deep pockets and short arms

  22. #22
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    Raining cats and dogs.

    Who died and made you boss/chief.

    Get the hell out of dodge.

    The truth is always told in a joke.

    Think before you speak.

    Doesn't amount to an anthill.

    Why in heavens name did you do that?

  23. #23
    The Eternal Optimist zimmy's Avatar
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    I remember very little about my great grandmother but she used to say funny things (at least they were funny to a 5 year old!)

    When I asked her where she was going she would always say, "I going crazy, wanna come?"

    And then if I asked her if we could go swimming she'd say, "So long as you don't get wet."



    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    The big shots are only the little shots who keep shooting.
    -Christopher Morley

  24. #24
    ABW Ambassador JudiMoore's Avatar
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    In response to What are you doing?

    I'm making a doo-dad for a duck to pee in.

  25. #25
    Yup, Sure ... now let me check ... Cagles Mill's Avatar
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    Back in the 80s we lived in Kentucky for 3 years and a popular saying there in response to someone overlooking the obvious was:
    "If it was a snake it would've bit you."
    Rick M.
    I would rather have a bottle in front of me, than have a frontal lobotomy!
    Does your bubblegum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?

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