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  1. #1
    Affiliate Network Rep Jen's Avatar
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    Thumbs up The Rules!!!
    Listen up boys....

    1. The Female always makes The Rules.

    2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

    3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules.

    4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.

    5. The Female is never wrong.

    6. (If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.)

    7. (If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.)

    8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.

    9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female.

    10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

    11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female Wants him to be angry or upset.

    12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

    13. The Male is expected to mind read at all times.

    14. The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp.

    15. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.
    16. At no time can the Male make such comments as "Insignificant" and "Is that all?" when the Female is complaining.

    17. If the Female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void!

    Have a great weekend :0)

    Jen

  2. #2
    The Eternal Optimist zimmy's Avatar
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    Sounds fair to me.



    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    The big shots are only the little shots who keep shooting.
    -Christopher Morley

  3. #3
    Outsourced Program Manager
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    Allow us to retort:

    The Guys' Rules

    We always hear" the rules"
    from the female side.

    Now here are the rules from the male side.
    These are our rules!
    Please note...
    these are all numbered "1"
    ON PURPOSE!

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If! it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports.
    It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
    And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask! for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
    question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
    That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
    See a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become
    null and void after7 days.

    1. If you won't dress like the
    Victoria's Secret girls,
    don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don 't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
    makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
    done. Not both! If you already know best how to do it,
    just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
    We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
    we will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't
    want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
    fine...Really! .

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
    discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster t trucks.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape.
    Round is a shape.

    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
    but did you know men really don't mind that?
    It's like camping.

  4. #4
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    'Male rules' make more sense ... is that scary coming from a female or what?

    Only I do NOT have enough shoes ... never did, never will, no matter how many are in my closet at any given time. Same with clothes ... ;-)
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  5. #5
    Affiliate Manager inflatemouse's Avatar
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    Sounds like the game of MAO.

  6. #6
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    Well-said Michael. Funny stuff!!

  7. #7
    Moderator MichaelColey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rexanne
    'Male rules' make more sense ... is that scary coming from a female or what?
    Female rules aren't supposed to make sense!
    Michael Coley
    Amazing-Bargains.com
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  8. #8
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by inflatemouse
    Sounds like the game of MAO.
    You can't come in here and talk about a "game" and not explain, George. It's against the "rules." LOL Details, please!
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  9. #9
    Affiliate Manager inflatemouse's Avatar
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    Oh it is very simple. I like to play with 4-8 people and 1 deck for every 4 players. Suffle cards and deal them all out. Dealer states "The game is MAO. The game starts NOW" and lays down a card. Play continues to the left -- each person puts down one card -- if anyone breaks a rule they have to take all of the cards in the middle. the goal is to get rid of your cards
    Last edited by inflatemouse; November 11th, 2005 at 06:02 PM.

  10. #10
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by inflatemouse
    Oh it is very simple. I like to play with 4-8 people and 1 deck for every 4 players. Suffle cards and deal them all out. Dealer state "The game is MAO. The game starts NOW" and lays down a card. Play continues to the left -- each person puts down one card -- if anyone breaks a rule they have to take all of the cards in the middle. the goal is to get rid of your cards
    Hmmmmmmm OK. :-)
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  11. #11
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    'Male rules' make more sense
    I agree.

    ... is that scary coming from a female or what?
    No, it's not that scary but............
    Rexanne, how can you say this in here: 6. If you know more than six names of colors and then say that 'Male rules' make more sense?


  12. #12
    AM Navigator Geno Prussakov's Avatar
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    Jen, your "rules" are too true to me!

  13. #13
    The Eternal Optimist zimmy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rexanne

    Only I do NOT have enough shoes ... never did, never will, no matter how many are in my closet at any given time.
    I hear ya! My husband can't understand why I need chocolate brown boots, light brown boots, black boots, all in both low and high heels. Men.



    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    The big shots are only the little shots who keep shooting.
    -Christopher Morley

  14. #14
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    First thoughts for me.... Ray Stevens and "The Streak" -
    Ethel, is that you, Ethel?
    What do you think you're doing?

    Now I know that my wife has been posing here as Jen!
    What's for supper?
    Add to Guys Rules ...

    Don't ask us what we want for supper if you have already set your mind on what you want. I simple "How does {whatever} sound?" Is quicker.

    When arriving home from being out of town all week .... Do NOT greet us with "Let's go out for supper!" Get yer butt in the kitchen and fix *anything* that can be slopped up with cornbread or bisquits! LOL

  15. #15
    Resident Genius and Staunch Capitalist Leader's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rexanne
    'Male rules' make more sense ... is that scary coming from a female or what?

    Only I do NOT have enough shoes ... never did, never will, no matter how many are in my closet at any given time. Same with clothes ... ;-)
    I don't think it's scary...they sound like some of my Rules!

    But, I DO have enough shoes (1 pair, and just so I can get into stores and not freeze my feet in the w*nter) and clothes.
    There is no knowledge that is not power. ~Hemingway

  16. #16
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Sal
    I agree.


    No, it's not that scary but............
    Rexanne, how can you say this in here: 6. If you know more than six names of colors and then say that 'Male rules' make more sense?

    That post was supposed to be funny, Mr. Sal. This one is dead on serious! LOL
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  17. #17
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmy
    I hear ya! My husband can't understand why I need chocolate brown boots, light brown boots, black boots, all in both low and high heels. Men.
    And he never will, Zimmy. Sad ... the man will never be properly shod. ;-)

    Sad that we absolutely NEED 100 pair of shoes, too, huh? The male aff marketers in here who are always amazed by $1000.00 plus orders from online shoe stores will maybe now understand why they get such great orders. It's a woman's disease. - We have shoe-itis and men have foot in mouth disease ... it all evens out LOL
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  18. #18
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leader
    I don't think it's scary...they sound like some of my Rules!

    But, I DO have enough shoes (1 pair, and just so I can get into stores and not freeze my feet in the w*nter) and clothes.
    That's not enough Leader! You need to go buy more and more and more. LOL
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  19. #19
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cozy
    First thoughts for me.... Ray Stevens and "The Streak" -
    Ethel, is that you, Ethel?
    What do you think you're doing?

    Now I know that my wife has been posing here as Jen!
    What's for supper?
    Add to Guys Rules ...

    Don't ask us what we want for supper if you have already set your mind on what you want. I simple "How does {whatever} sound?" Is quicker.
    LOL - no sh*t!
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  20. #20
    affiliate emeritus missdonna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leader
    I don't think it's scary...they sound like some of my Rules!

    But, I DO have enough shoes (1 pair, and just so I can get into stores and not freeze my feet in the w*nter) and clothes.
    I have enough shoes too. One pair to wear, and another that hurt my feet, just in case someone makes me go someplace like a wedding or a funeral. It happens almost every year.
    Affiliate Marketing - The hardest easy money I ever made.

  21. #21
    Resident Genius and Staunch Capitalist Leader's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rexanne
    That's not enough Leader! You need to go buy more and more and more. LOL
    What on Earth would I ever do with all of 'em? I'd rather wear none at all!

    Quote Originally Posted by Missdonna
    another that hurt my feet, just in case someone makes me go someplace like a wedding or a funeral. It happens almost every year.
    I just ignore the looks from overly fashion-sensitive people and wear my walking shoes, after trying to wear a feet-hurting pair of heels at my grandparents' 50th anniversary. That was the end of nonflat shoes (or any kind that doesn't conform to my feet) for me!
    There is no knowledge that is not power. ~Hemingway

  22. #22
    The Eternal Optimist zimmy's Avatar
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    Then it must be time for a pair of Croc's. Evidently they are all the rage and the most comfortable pair of shoes ever. Sadly, they are also the ugliest shoes I've seen in a while!



    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    The big shots are only the little shots who keep shooting.
    -Christopher Morley

  23. #23
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leader
    What on Earth would I ever do with all of 'em? I'd rather wear none at all!

    I just ignore the looks from overly fashion-sensitive people and wear my walking shoes, after trying to wear a feet-hurting pair of heels at my grandparents' 50th anniversary. That was the end of nonflat shoes (or any kind that doesn't conform to my feet) for me!
    There's never a good enough reason to wear shoes that hurt. That's not the point. The point is to have as many pair of shoes that look and feel great as possible. One pair for every possible color combination and event. LOL - It's a disease I tell you! You're lucky you don't have it.
    Peace,

    Rexanne

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    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  24. #24
    Affiliate Network Rep Jen's Avatar
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    Ahhh shoes, yes yes, the possibilites are endless Zimmy, and all I can say is:

    13. The Male is expected to mind read at all times.

    What am I thinking????

    I need you (the male) to buy me more shoes...he,he,he


  25. #25
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen
    Ahhh shoes, yes yes, the possibilites are endless Zimmy, and all I can say is:

    13. The Male is expected to mind read at all times.

    What am I thinking????

    I need you (the male) to buy me more shoes...he,he,he

    SOme things just have to be said loud and clear! :-)
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


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