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  1. #1
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Clean joke of the day


    A string walks into a bar and the bartender says,

    "I'm sorry we dont serve strings here."

    So the string goes outside puts on a hat and tie goes back in and the bartender says,

    "WE DONT SERVE STRINGS HERE!"

    So the string goes outside takes off the hat and tie, tossles and messes his hair. He goes inside again and the bartender says,

    "Hey aren't you the same string from before?"

    And the string replies, " No, I'm a frayed knot."


    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  2. #2
    ABW Founder Haiko de Poel, Jr.'s Avatar
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    Oh my God, that sucked!


    Ok ... here ...

    A mushroom walks into a bar and says bartender ... I need a Martell XO ( ) Bartender says sorry mushroom we don't serve your "type" (beware drtneck or whatever the username is) ... my type? the mushroom says? Bartender retorts yeah you ... Mushroom says why? I'm a Fun guy (funghi)

    LMAO LAMO LAMO

    Ok so did you hear about the restaurant on the moon that failed? ... yeah drtneck went there ... no J/K ... it had no atmosphere ... barump rump (oh is that Gay?)

    Shut up Haiko your getting into trouble

    Smile, it's a new day, to live learn, love, grow and give. Make the best of it. God Bless.
    Continued Success,

    Haiko
    The secret of success is constancy of purpose ~ Disraeli

  3. #3
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haiko de Poel, Jr.
    Oh my God, that sucked!


    Ok ... here ...

    A mushroom walks into a bar and says bartender ... I need a Martell XO ( ) Bartender says sorry mushroom we don't serve your "type" (beware drtneck or whatever the username is) ... my type? the mushroom says? Bartender retorts yeah you ... Mushroom says why? I'm a Fun guy (funghi)

    LMAO LAMO LAMO

    Ok so did you hear about the restaurant on the moon that failed? ... yeah drtneck went there ... no J/K ... it had no atmosphere ... barump rump (oh is that Gay?)

    Shut up Haiko your getting into trouble

    Smile, it's a new day, to live learn, love, grow and give. Make the best of it. God Bless.
    LOL LOL - both made me giggle and I can share them to my 11 year-old daughter! :-)

    I'll keep looking for some more REALLY good ones.
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  4. #4
    ABW Ambassador webmarm's Avatar
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    A rabbi, a priest, and a pastor walk into a bar.

    The bartender says, "Hey, what is this, a joke?"

  5. #5
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by webmarm
    A rabbi, a priest, and a pastor walk into a bar.

    The bartender says, "Hey, what is this, a joke?"
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  6. #6
    ABW Founder Haiko de Poel, Jr.'s Avatar
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    Hey I got an idea ... every play puchline? ...

    Just the punchlines? Maybe we should do that and hold weekly contests for the best NEW story for the joke?

    Thoughts?
    ==========

    Marm,

    I thought it was a Rabbi, a Priest and a Blonde?






    The punchline was ... what's a donut? LOL
    Continued Success,

    Haiko
    The secret of success is constancy of purpose ~ Disraeli

  7. #7
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haiko de Poel, Jr.
    Hey I got an idea ... every play puchline? ...

    Just the punchlines? Maybe we should do that and hold weekly contests for the best NEW story for the joke?

    Thoughts?
    ==========

    Marm,

    I thought it was a Rabbi, a Priest and a Blonde?






    The punchline was ... what's a donut? LOL
    YES!!!!
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  8. #8
    AM Navigator Geno Prussakov's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by webmarm
    A rabbi, a priest, and a pastor walk into a bar.

    The bartender says, "Hey, what is this, a joke?"

  9. #9
    ABW Ambassador
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    So a guy walks into a bar in Tucson with a roadrunner on his shoulder. The bartender looks and shouts "Where did he come from?" The roadrunner replies, "Dunno, I found him out back in the alley."

  10. #10
    ABW Ambassador webmarm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haiko de Poel, Jr.
    Hey I got an idea ... every play puchline? ...

    Just the punchlines? Maybe we should do that and hold weekly contests for the best NEW story for the joke?

    Thoughts?
    ==========

    Marm,

    I thought it was a Rabbi, a Priest and a Blonde?






    The punchline was ... what's a donut? LOL
    Hmmm, does sound better with the Blonde rather than the pastor. I'll keep it.

  11. #11
    ABW Ambassador Snib's Avatar
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    Okay, so why couldn't the kids watch the Pirate movie?

    .

    .

    .

    It was rated ARRRRR!!

    - Scott
    Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all transgressions.

  12. #12
    ABW Ambassador Greg Rice's Avatar
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    Another corny bar joke:

    A horse is walking down the street all depressed and decides he needs a drink. He walks into a bar and tells the bartender "Give me a whiskey and make it a double." The bartender gets his drink, puts it on the bar and says "What's the matter, Mack, why the long face?"
    Greg Rice Affiliate Program Management
    www.gocmc.com info(AT)gocmc.com | 330-259-1223

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  13. #13
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    LOL Snib & Greg. Groaners all around. :-)
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  14. #14
    ABW Ambassador JJJay's Avatar
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    A guy walks into a bar and screams, "F^%k." It was a metal bar...

  15. #15
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JJJay
    A guy walks into a bar and screams, "F^%k." It was a metal bar...
    LOL!
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  16. #16
    ABW Ambassador Snib's Avatar
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    A man walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm and asks "Do you serve politicians here?" The bartender replies, "Well, of course we do! A Senator was here just last week." So the guy goes, "Good, I'll have a beer and my friend will have a politician."
    Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all transgressions.

  17. #17
    Affiliate Manager Vanns.com's Avatar
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    A man goes to the zoo.


    When he arrived, there was only a dog.


    It was a shitzu

  18. #18
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vanns.com
    A man goes to the zoo.


    When he arrived, there was only a dog.


    It was a shitzu


    Good one!
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  19. #19
    Outsourced Program Manager
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vanns.com
    A man goes to the zoo.



    When he arrived, there was only a dog.


    It was a shitzu

    Waaaay too good a joke for this thread.

  20. #20
    Outsourced Program Manager
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    A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender:

    "got any grapes?"

    The bartender says no, and the duck goes on his way

    The next day the duck comes back and asks again:

    "got any grapes?"

    The bartender, slightly agitated, replies:

    "like i told you yesterday, there aint no grapes here."

    And the duck goes on his way.

    The next day, sure enough, the duck comes back and asks:

    "got any grapes?"

    The bartender is really pissed now. He screams at the duck:

    "NO, NO GRAPES, COME IN HERE AGAIN ASKING FOR GRAPES AND I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THE FLOOR"

    And the duck goes on his way.

    The next day the duck returns, but asks:

    "got any nails?"

    The bartender, puzzled, replies simply:

    "no"

    The duck says:

    "good, got any grapes?"







    I apologize for wasting that minute of your life spent reading this joke, lol.

  21. #21
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    Cleanest joke of the day!
    This is not the ABW's Daily Chuckle Forum.

    This is the Alcoholics Anonymous Support Group Forum, and can prove it!

    .
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    A string walks into a bar and the bartender says...
    A mushroom walks into a bar and says bartender...
    A rabbi, a priest, and a pastor walk into a bar...
    So a guy walks into a bar in Tucson...
    A horse is walking down the street. He walks into a bar...
    A guy walks into a bar and screams...
    A man walks into a bar with a crocodile...
    A duck walks into a bar and asks...

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    eight members just posted about bar's stories here, so...


    .
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    and btw, don't forget to give a to the man that went to the zoo, he's the only one that is not an Alcoholic like the other eight, but he deserves one glass at least.

    .
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    .



    .

  22. #22
    ABW Founder Haiko de Poel, Jr.'s Avatar
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    Ok ... here's one ...

    Left eye said to the right eye ... pssst, between you and me, there is something that smells.

    LOL!
    Continued Success,

    Haiko
    The secret of success is constancy of purpose ~ Disraeli

  23. #23
    ABW Founder Haiko de Poel, Jr.'s Avatar
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    BTW I've got the best bar joke ever.

    Saving it for a rainy day.
    Continued Success,

    Haiko
    The secret of success is constancy of purpose ~ Disraeli

  24. #24
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haiko de Poel, Jr.
    Ok ... here's one ...

    Left eye said to the right eye ... pssst, between you and me, there is something that smells.

    LOL!
    LOL! oh lordy - we're warped. ;-)
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  25. #25
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EasyClickTravel
    A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender:

    "got any grapes?"

    The bartender says no, and the duck goes on his way

    The next day the duck comes back and asks again:

    "got any grapes?"

    The bartender, slightly agitated, replies:

    "like i told you yesterday, there aint no grapes here."

    And the duck goes on his way.

    The next day, sure enough, the duck comes back and asks:

    "got any grapes?"

    The bartender is really pissed now. He screams at the duck:

    "NO, NO GRAPES, COME IN HERE AGAIN ASKING FOR GRAPES AND I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THE FLOOR"

    And the duck goes on his way.

    The next day the duck returns, but asks:

    "got any nails?"

    The bartender, puzzled, replies simply:

    "no"

    The duck says:

    "good, got any grapes?"







    I apologize for wasting that minute of your life spent reading this joke, lol.
    LOL! Love it :-)

    Please don't ever apologize for "wasting time" with a joke. If it makes me laugh, giggle, chuckle or smile, it's never a waste of time. It's what keeps us sane in a tense and insane world. So thank you!!
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


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