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December 7th, 2005, 04:47 PM #1The lizard and the monkey
A little lizard and his good buddy the monkey are sitting on a branch in a tree one lazy afternoon, smoking a doobie. After a while the lizard, totally buzzed, says: "My mouth feels like sandpaper, I think I will climb down to the river for a drink of water".
But before he can finish the sentence, the poor lizard slips off the branch, smack into the middle of the river and promptly starts sinking to the bottom.
Luckily, a huge crocodile rises from the river's bottom, carrying the lizard up to safety on his back.
When the lizard is safe on the river's bank the crocodile asks him "You can't swim little fella, what were you doing in the river?".
The red-eyed lizard replies: "Well, me and the monkey were getting high in the tree, one thing led to another...."
Upon hearing this, the angry crocodile heads for the tree, intent on straightening out the monkey.
"Hey monkey!" he calls up from the ground. The monkey looks down at the crocodile and replies:
"DUDE!.........HOW MUCH WATER DID YOU DRINK!?!"
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