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  1. #1
    Web Ho - Design B!tch ~Michelle's Avatar
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    Spinoff - What's the funniest present you have received or given?
    I thought it would be fun to start a spinoff off thread from the worst present ever received, so here goes.

    What is the funniest present you have ever received and/or given?

    I'll start:

    Warning... our family can be a little twisted:

    3 years ago I bought some fake instant lottery tickets and mixed one in with a pile of real ones and gave them to my nephew (whom is a couple years older than me - nephew by marriage). He never spends money on tickets like this, so he was the perfect target. He sat at the family party scratching tickets while others were opening gifts. He got to the 'trick' ticket and I saw him lean over to my brother and point and whisper something to him. My brother looks it over and with huge eyes says to my nephew "You've won $50,000 dollars" he was like "What?" so my brother repeats it a bit louder this time and everyone stops what they are doing and looks over there. Meanwhile I am trying not to fall out of chair laughing since not only did I fool the indended victim, but my stupid brother too! *LOL* So he flips it over to see how to claim a prize that big and in the fine print on the back it says you must take it to the Easter Bunny, who will give it to Santa who will have the Tooth Fairy deliver it, etc. etc. Thank goodness he took it well, but it opened up the floodgate for gag gifts between himself and I.

    Last year to get even with me I received a nice grey womans henley style shirt, but upon unfolding it I discovered that the breast areas had been cut out and big santa hats sewen in their place! *LOL* I threatened to wear it and stuff the hats so they stuck straight out and have a picture taken with it on to make his x-mas card for this year. hehehe

    This past year he got divorced, so I bought him an inflatable wife, which I gave to him at the family party this past weekend. I tripled wrapped the box she came in, then placed it in a gift bag which I stapled shut, then duct taped over that. I also wrapped the bag handles in duct tape and tied little knotted ribbons all over the handles. Watching him try to open it was almost as funny as the look on his face when he pulled her out of the box! *LOL* He promptly blew her up and carried her around with him all night.

    My other nephew had my name this year, but they all conspired together and came up with another 'gift' for me this year, except this was for my husband and I. It is a pair or mens long johns, with the crotch area removed and a santa hat sewen to the edge of the waist band and it velcros shut on the bottom. The plan is that my husband is supposed to wear the long johns while I wear the hat.. ahemmmm

    Ha! just wait til next year when we make his Christmas card out of a photo of this years gift! LMAO

    One more...

    My dad had a heart attack about a week before Christmas my senior year of high school. He got out of the hospital a week or so after Christmas. His birthday was January 31st. A couple weeks before his B-day he got up one morning and was telling me about this weird dream he had. In it, it was a party and he only received tons of these little tiny rectangular packages all wrapped up. He kept opening them and they were all razor blades for his razor. I went out and bought a bunch of packages of razor blades for his razor and wrapped each blade individually and placed them at his seat at the kitchen table the morning of his birthday. He got up and came out for coffee and sat down and started opening them and laughing. He then proceeded to call me some choice names - lovingly of course. He ended up dying a couple of month later and that is one of the funniest memories I have of him in the last few months of his life. Ever so often in those few months before he died he would just start chuckling to himself about it. It really tickled him.
    ~Michelle
    "All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy."
    "Work to become, not to acquire." -- Confucius

  2. #2
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    Given: Friend of mine got a new job a few years back and invited all of his friends and family to dinner to celebrate. I couldn't find a "Congratulations on your new job" card, so I just picked up a "Congratulations on your Bar Mitzvah" card and x'd out "Bar Mitzvah" and wrote "NEW JOB" underneath in big capital letters and signed it.

    Recieved at my bachelor I got a butane lighter in the female form. If this female were a real person, she would be dead from whatever disease gave her that burning reproductive anatomy.

  3. #3
    Defender of Truth, Justice and the Affiliate Way
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    I'm glad I'm not the only one whose family is a bit twisted at times when it comes to gifts. When I was growing up, pranks and tricks were an integral part of Christmas. You just never knew what was going to happen. Good times for sure though.

    You take a deep breath before you open a present from my sister because you don't know if it's going to be a joke or a real gift. And she's pretty creative at times. A couple of years ago she managed to find a record player (you know one of those little box deals with pink and white stripes on the top) like I had when I was little and played for hours on end. But one of her funniest ones she did to my poor step dad. She hand-made him a "coonass toolbelt". My step dad is cajun. It was a pair of mens underwear with coonass toolbelt written across the front and a belt attached to the waistband. We laughed so hard and he was gracious enough to model it for us.

  4. #4
    ABW Ambassador Sheri's Avatar
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    Well, I don't know if this counts since I'm giving it this year and I don't know if it will be as funny as I think....

    My mother is very concerned that my Christmas is going to be dull this year. It will be my mom and dad, my 93 year old grandma and my husband and I. Usually, we have my brother and his wife with their two girls. The kids make it fun. My family is very conservative and doesn't discuss issues that are PG-13 or worse at any time. So... I bought my husband a pair of boxers that look like the lower half of santa's pants that say "Would you like to sit on Santa's Lap?" across the bottom edge of the shorts.

    My mom gets all embarrassed and gets the giggles around this kind of stuff, so I'm hoping for some good laughs. We'll see.

    It's sort of a reprise of a Christmas about 25 years ago when my crazy aunt gave my grandpa some bright yellow bikini brief undies. My family was in stitches and my mom didn't stop giggling for days. The best part was when he put them on over his slacks and modeled for us.

    Fun memory.

  5. #5
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
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    - - - - -
    My other nephew had my name this year, but they all conspired together and came up with another 'gift' for me this year, except this was for my husband and I. It is a pair or mens long johns, with the crotch area removed and a santa hat sewen to the edge of the waist band and it velcros shut on the bottom. The plan is that my husband is supposed to wear the long johns while I wear the hat.. ahemmmm
    - - - - -

    Okay, if this makes it into post card format, you gotta post it here,

    Speaking of viral marketing.....I could see that as being one of those jpgs that gets sent around the globe to everyone on the 'funny picture' email lists....
    Following everyone else is a GREAT way to become average.

  6. #6
    Affiliate Miester my2cents's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by elbowcreek
    - - - - -
    My other nephew had my name this year, but they all conspired together and came up with another 'gift' for me this year, except this was for my husband and I. It is a pair or mens long johns, with the crotch area removed and a santa hat sewen to the edge of the waist band and it velcros shut on the bottom. The plan is that my husband is supposed to wear the long johns while I wear the hat.. ahemmmm
    - - - - -

    Okay, if this makes it into post card format, you gotta post it here,

    Speaking of viral marketing.....I could see that as being one of those jpgs that gets sent around the globe to everyone on the 'funny picture' email lists....
    I want a pic... I already have 20 or 30 viral marketing ideas... for my "male" site...
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    that's my2cents, 'cuz I'm a legend in my own mind....

  7. #7
    Web Ho - Design B!tch ~Michelle's Avatar
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    Oh man, you guys are BAD! *LOL*

    I told my husband we really should make the picture, but instead of me facing him I should kneel down in front of him facing the other way with the hat on. Then create a card where all you can see is my husband from about the waist up, so of course you would see the top of the hat, then have one of those little flaps you have to pick up to see the lower half of the photo. And as a finishing touch we should write "PERV - YOU HAD TO LOOK" in great big letters under my smiling face which will be under the flap.
    ~Michelle
    "All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy."
    "Work to become, not to acquire." -- Confucius

  8. #8
    Member Chocolate_Chicken's Avatar
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    At one of the stores in Chinatown I found this candy that is like chocolate pudding with stick-shaped cookies for dipping, and it comes in a little bucket.

    On the wrapper is a cartoon pic of a kid holding up a dipped stick and licking his lips with a dreamy twinkle in his eye.

    The name of the product? KAKA.

    I give cash to my nieces and nephews for Christmas and they usually have their greedy hands out for it before I even get both feet in the door. So this year I'm going to give them KAKA first and give them their envelopes afterward.

  9. #9
    ABW Ambassador erninator's Avatar
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    A couple years ago my son-in-law said he wanted a goat and my daughter said, "NO WAY!"

    This year were giving him two miniature goats. But, after we bought the goats we realized he is a mechanic and owns a custom hot rod shop and he may have been talking about a Pontiac GTO.

    This one could backfire on us. Who knows?
    ~Ernie

  10. #10
    ABW Ambassador JudiMoore's Avatar
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    This was for a bridal shower and not for Christmas, but it was funny...
    Our coworker was getting married for the second time and insisted that she already had everything she needed except a toaster. No matter who asked her what she wanted, she replied toaster. We managed to contact all the incoming guests and even though all the boxes were different sizes at the shower, each one contained the exact same model of toaster. 37 in all. The first 3 were funny. After that, not so much.

  11. #11
    Outsourced Program Manager e-Gazer's Avatar
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    I had a holiday event at home on Saturday night - last guests left at 4am so I believe a good time was had by all (or at least some).

    I did a white elephant gift deal for those who stayed late and allowed everyone to select from a big basket of wrapped surprise gifts.

    Mixed in with some truly nice things like boxes of chocolates, cookies, candles and spa lotions etc, was a rubber chicken with a blow-up-doll type of mouth that screams like it's dying when you squeeze it, some furry leopard handcuffs, and a motion detector toilet paper roll holder that sings 'Jingle Bells' in bad midi-like format.

    Oh yes, and the worst of the lot I think was my little guy's 9th birthday candle from his birthday cake this summer. I figured she wouldn't ever be 9 again and that it was safe to give away.

    Needless to say we got a few laughs.

    Chocolate Chicken - I just about died laughing reading that!

    And Sheri - you gave me a great idea. I know what my father in law is getting this year. I'll die laughing at THAT if he tries to model them for us! (gotta luv him tho)

  12. #12
    Marketing Mistress Lectrickitty's Avatar
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    This one was at a family reunion at a campground. Nights were ususally spent around the campfire. Every year we have a "white elephant" auction. (For those who don't know, a white elephant sale is junk or gag gifts) The money goes into a pot to help pay expenses of food, etc. for the next years family reunion.

    My son was about 10 or 12 years old. He came running up to me to show me a huge toad he had caught. My Uncle who was setting beside me saw it and called me off to the side with my son. Another Uncle got involved and they boxed up the toad and put it in the auction. The idea was for a good natured Aunt to win the auction. This good natured Aunt was about 60 years old.

    Word was quietly passed for everyone to let her win the bid on the toad. There was one "snooty" Aunt who was not told about the gag. The snooty Aunt kept bidding on the toad box. The Uncle who came up with the idea kept incouraging the good natured Aunt to bid.

    We all set holding our breath hoping the right Aunt would win... The bid was getting higher and higher. Some of us who were in on the joke started bidding so the snooty Aunt wouldn't win the toad. The joke almost backfired on us.

    Finally the right Aunt bid again, everyone shut up and she won the auction. She had bid about 10 times more for that box than any other box in the auction. She was primed to think it was something great that was a bargin at the price she paid.

    When she opened that box she screamed, jumped up and started dancing around the fire. Then she fell down laughing! Then she got up, found the terrified toad, picked it up and went over and stuffed it down her brothers pants! (that was the Uncle who encouraged her to keep bidding).

    His dance was as much fun to watch as hers was!
    [color=blue]"Those who give up their freedom for a little security deserve neither freedom nor security" - Benjamin Franklin[/color]

  13. #13
    ABW Ambassador JudiMoore's Avatar
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    We all set holding our breath hoping the right Aunt would win... The bid was getting higher and higher. Some of us who were in on the joke started bidding so the snooty Aunt wouldn't win the toad. The joke almost backfired on us.
    This has to be the winner.

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