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  1. #1
    Moderator MichaelColey's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Mansfield, TX
    A Dieter's Christmas
    A Dieter's Christmas

    'Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips
    Were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips.
    Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care
    In hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.

    While Mama in her girdle and I in chin straps
    Had just settled down to sugar-borne naps.
    When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter
    I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

    Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash
    Tore open the icebox then threw up the sash.
    The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow
    Sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.

    When what to my wandering eyes should ap
    A marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer!
    That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick
    I knew in a second that I'd wind up sick.

    The sweet-coated Santa, those sugared reindeer
    I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear;
    On Pritzker, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS
    A Weight Watcher dropout from sugar detox.

    From the top of the scales to the top of the hall
    Now dash away pounds now dash away all.
    Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress
    My clothes were all bulging from too much excess.

    My droll little mouth and my round little belly
    They shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly.
    I spoke not a word but went straight to my work
    Ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk.

    And laying a finger beside my heartburn
    I gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned.
    I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry
    If temptation's removed I'll get thin by and by.

    And I mumbled again as I turned for the night
    In the morning I'll starve...'til I take that first bit
    Michael Coley
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  2. #2
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Los Angeles
    LOL - very cute but BAH HUMBUG to diets at Christmastime!

    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic

  3. #3
    Troll Killer and best Snooper!
    I decide when the pigs fly!
    Rhea's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    New York, USA
    No one can accuse me of dieting! I made fettucine alfredo for dinner. Heavy cream, locatelli, peas, ham, pasta...yum-yum-yum-yum-yum.

    I might not need to eat again for a week!

  4. #4
    Resident Genius and Staunch Capitalist Leader's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    What Rexanne said.

    Which reminds me, tonight's a good night to make some cookies!
    There is no knowledge that is not power. ~Hemingway

  5. #5
    Canadienne extraordinaire Susan's Avatar
    Join Date
    August 11th, 2005
    Guelph, Ontario
    Grrrooooaaan...started the first dinner of four...three bottles of wine, two helpings of icecream cake and Baileys to top it off...

    Now...i'm having ice wine...HELP?
    Susan Arts
    Senior Vice President, Marketing
    Moxy Media

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