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December 23rd, 2005, 05:27 PM #1A Dieter's Christmas
A Dieter's Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips
Were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips.
Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care
In hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.
While Mama in her girdle and I in chin straps
Had just settled down to sugar-borne naps.
When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash
Tore open the icebox then threw up the sash.
The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow
Sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.
When what to my wandering eyes should ap
A marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer!
That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick
I knew in a second that I'd wind up sick.
The sweet-coated Santa, those sugared reindeer
I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear;
On Pritzker, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS
A Weight Watcher dropout from sugar detox.
From the top of the scales to the top of the hall
Now dash away pounds now dash away all.
Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress
My clothes were all bulging from too much excess.
My droll little mouth and my round little belly
They shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly.
I spoke not a word but went straight to my work
Ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk.
And laying a finger beside my heartburn
I gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned.
I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry
If temptation's removed I'll get thin by and by.
And I mumbled again as I turned for the night
In the morning I'll starve...'til I take that first bit
December 23rd, 2005, 05:31 PM #2
LOL - very cute but BAH HUMBUG to diets at Christmastime!Peace,
Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic
December 23rd, 2005, 06:36 PM #3
I decide when the pigs fly!
- Join Date
- January 18th, 2005
- New York, USA
December 23rd, 2005, 06:36 PM #4
What Rexanne said.
Which reminds me, tonight's a good night to make some cookies!There is no knowledge that is not power. ~Hemingway
December 23rd, 2005, 10:09 PM #5
Grrrooooaaan...started the first dinner of four...three bottles of wine, two helpings of dinner...an icecream cake and Baileys to top it off...
Now...i'm having ice wine...HELP?Susan Arts
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