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  1. #1
    Senior Affiliate Manager AMWSO James - AMWSO's Avatar
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    I've still got tears in my eyes after reading this...Enjoy...
    Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to
    Wife 1.0. I soon noticed thatthe new program began unexpected childprocessing that took up a lot ofspace and valuable resources.

    In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into
    all other programs and nowmonitors all other system activity.Applications such as Poker Night 10.3,Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, andRacing 3.6.

    I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the
    background while attempting to run myfavorite applications. I'm thinking aboutgoing back to Girlfriend 7.0,but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.Please help!

    Thanks,

    Troubled User.. (Keep reading)
    ____________________________________



    REPLY:

    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that men
    complain about.

    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 toWife 1.0, thinking that it isjust a Utilities and Entertainment program.Wife 1.0 is an OPERATINGSYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to runEVERYTHING!!! It is alsoimpossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return toGirlfriend 7.0. It isimpossible to uninstall, or purge the programfiles from the system once installed.

    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 becauseWife 1.0 is designed to notallow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under! Warnings-Alimony- ChildSupport. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0and work on improving thesituation. I suggest installing the backgroundapplication "Yes Dear" toalleviate software augmentation.

    The best course of action is to enter thecommand C:\APOLOGIZE! becauseultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZEcommand before the systemwill return to normal anyway.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to
    be very high maintenance.Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs,such as Clean and Sweep 3.0,Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

    However, be very careful how you use these
    programs. Improper use willcause the system to launch the program NagNag9.5. Once this happens, theonly way to improve the performance of Wife1.0 is to purchase additionalsoftware. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds5.0 !

    WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances,install Secretary With ShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supportedby Wife 1.0 and will causeirreversible damage to the operating system!

    Best of luck,
    James D. Nardell
    AMWSO.com Affiliate Management Team
    email: James.Nardell [@] AMWSO.com
    Phone: (805) 624-5669
    IM - Google/Skype: JamesNardell
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  2. #2
    Canadienne extraordinaire Susan's Avatar
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    Ditto on the secretary...a big Ditto if it's a showgirl ;-)

    Good one James!!!!
    Susan Arts
    Senior Vice President, Marketing
    Moxy Media

  3. #3
    Beachy Bill's Avatar
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    Bill / Marketing Blog @ 12PM - Current project: Resurrecting my "baby" at South Baltimore..
    Cute Personal Checks and Business Checks
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  4. #4
    Troll Killer and best Snooper!
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    Rhea's Avatar
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    Too cute!

    I had terrible difficulty with Husband 1.0 and ultimately had to reformat my hard drive to rid myself of the problems. I found that Husband 2.0 has no bugs whatsoever. I highly recommend Husband 2.0 to anyone who's unhappy with Husband 1.0.

  5. #5
    Canadienne extraordinaire Susan's Avatar
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    Rhea...I hate to say it but Husband 2.0, still had a load of bugs when I installed him into my Canadian based operating system , not sure what the heck happened there!

    I'm now considering Husband 3.0 but would love to hear feedback from anyone who has had similar experiences...
    Susan Arts
    Senior Vice President, Marketing
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  6. #6
    All Around Web Guy Cursal's Avatar
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    Yep, That's been around awhile, but I saw it again from an old friend this past x-mas in my mailbox. Always a good laugh!
    Oregon Publishing: Web Development, Graphic Design, Domains & Marketing
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  7. #7
    Resident Genius and Staunch Capitalist Leader's Avatar
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    I have heard of the application suites Husband 1.0 and Husband 2.0 and after learning of multiple bug reports, have decided to avoid these applications. According to my understanding:

    These applications are actually just support bundles which include programs like TakeOutGarbage 9.7, HeresMoneyHoney 1.0, LiftThisHeavyThing 1.1, and FixThisThing 5.3.

    But, they come with several parasitewares installed: WatchTheGame 2.1 being the most common one, which also comes with the hideous virus known as Inc3sSanT ChaNn3L Surf1nG. Other parasites are Drinking 1.0 and OutWiththeBoys 3.8. They also reputedly lack the advertised PathFinding app, and are incompatible with both the AskDirections and LookAtMap corrective patches. Certain versions are fatally flawed, due to the presence of the virus known as "N3and3rThaL Cl0d", "Mal3 ChaUvan1st P1g," or both.

    Also, most versions of the Husband Series mistake themselves for an operating system and try to direct the actual OS, and will often crash hideously if reminded of their status as a support suite. In this case, there may be no choice but to reformat and then run CollectAlimony 8.3

    To prevent installation of this nefarious software bundle, pre-install ListenToMarriedWomenComplain 1.0, and if that doesn't thoroughly protect your computer, try WatchDivorceCourt 3.4.
    There is no knowledge that is not power. ~Hemingway

  8. #8
    Canadienne extraordinaire Susan's Avatar
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    LOL Leader!
    Susan Arts
    Senior Vice President, Marketing
    Moxy Media

  9. #9
    ABW Ambassador Sheri's Avatar
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    You guys are too funny. I'm with Rhea. Husband 2.0 is far better than husband 1.0. Too bad I had to wait 5 years for that upgrade to be available. I've had the program for two years (Feb. 14) and haven't had a glitch yet.

    Sheri

  10. #10
    Affiliate Network Rep JAmieF's Avatar
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    Leader that was very funny I have program 20.2 just nod and smile, installed. I find that it counteracts the female program 1.01 nagging.
    Jamie
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  11. #11
    Resident Genius and Staunch Capitalist Leader's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAmieF
    Leader that was very funny I have program 20.2 just nod and smile, installed. I find that it counteracts the female program 1.01 nagging.
    Thanks

    But--doesn't Just Nod And Smile 20.2 activate the FemmeBrands OS included YouNeverListenToMe 1.9 program?
    There is no knowledge that is not power. ~Hemingway

  12. #12
    Affiliate Network Rep JAmieF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leader
    Thanks

    But--doesn't Just Nod And Smile 20.2 activate the FemmeBrands OS included YouNeverListenToMe 1.9 program?
    YouNeverListenToMe 1.9 program. Activates 6.5 and 10.1 QuoteWhatFemaleSays 6.5 ending with response from program SeeIDoListen 10.1.
    Jamie
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    I wish people would love everybody else the way they love me. It would be a better world. - Muhammad Ali

  13. #13
    Resident Genius and Staunch Capitalist Leader's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAmieF
    YouNeverListenToMe 1.9 program. Activates 6.5 and 10.1 QuoteWhatFemaleSays 6.5 ending with response from program SeeIDoListen 10.1.
    Watch out for the FemmeBrands OS upgrade, OhYeahWhatDidISayBeforeThat 2.0 and the tricky add-ons, AndWhatDidIMean 9.9 and ButYouDidntUnderstandIt 2.0. These updates are also proven to utterly crash various installations commonly running under the OSes of OtherFamilyMembers v. 1.0-5.7.

    While these upgrades are technically abortable with the running of SufficientlyProvableUnderstanding 1.0, most bundles do not include this very rare upgrade.
    There is no knowledge that is not power. ~Hemingway

  14. #14
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    LOL you guys!

    Husband 2.0 was as big a problem as husband 1.0 on my OS. Left me with a couple of non-purgable Trojans: kid.1 and kid.2 -

    Looking forward to Husband 3.0 - I heard it comes with a lot of the same features as 1.0 and 2.0 except has it's own version of Trojan which protects against the non-purgable types. But the best of 1 & 2 remain: lift heavy things, fix this and take care of car maintenance. Naturally, must be supported by Good wife 1.0 and OK fine, I'll cook 2.0.
    Probably best to leave the no-fail "I never get headaches" app installed from the original O.S.
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  15. #15
    Troll Killer and best Snooper!
    I decide when the pigs fly!
    Rhea's Avatar
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    I'm sorry to hear some of you had problems with Husband 2.0. My version is running so well I don't plan to ever upgrade. Perhaps I got a premiere version. I'd offer to send those of you who are waiting for the release of Husband 3.0 a copy but that would break my vows...er...I mean my warranty.

  16. #16
    Defender of Truth, Justice and the Affiliate Way
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    All this time and I never knew you had been a sys admin Leader. Sounds like you were a pretty knowledgable one at that.

  17. #17
    ABW Ambassador AddHandler's Avatar
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    I suggest sticking with Girlfriend 1.0 or Boyfriend 1.0..
    Niether of these are OS and should be installed in your ../Program Files/GAMES/ folder..
    Only access these programs when all other programs are shut down.
    You can also upgrade to newer versions whenever you want without getting the virus CollectAlimony 8.3 or getting any Trojans on your system like Kid1.0 and Kid2.0 as long as you protect your system while accessing the Girlfriend 1.0 or Boyfriend 1.0 that has been installed in your ../Program Files/GAMES/ folder. You can protect your system from any viruses or trojans by using the program BirthControl 2.0.. This will allow you the freedom to use your computer system however and whenever you want.. as long as it is a very secure system.. and you keep an eye on Girlfriend 1.0 or Boyfriend 1.0.. to make sure niether program does any hidden installations of any of the damaging programs...

    If you ever get curious as to what the programs Kid1.0 and Kid2.0 will do..
    I suggest getting the program Dog1.0 a slightly less abtrusive program..

  18. #18
    Affiliate Manager Sami B - Uncommon Goods's Avatar
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    I love the Girlfriend Series. I update them as soon as a newer version is available.

  19. #19
    ABW Ambassador AddHandler's Avatar
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    Yes me too..
    But you have to make sure that Girlfriend1.0 is completely UNINSTALLED before installing a newer version..

    Having two installations at a time can cause a total system crash.. and prevent any future installs of Kid1.0 or Kid2.0.. for some reason the double installations leave your system incompatible with either "KID" program..

  20. #20
    Affiliate Network Rep JAmieF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leader
    Watch out for the FemmeBrands OS upgrade, OhYeahWhatDidISayBeforeThat 2.0 and the tricky add-ons, AndWhatDidIMean 9.9 and ButYouDidntUnderstandIt 2.0. These updates are also proven to utterly crash various installations commonly running under the OSes of OtherFamilyMembers v. 1.0-5.7.
    Ha Ha I just recently installed 6.7 YouNeverLetMeFinish
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  21. #21
    ABW Ambassador meadowmufn's Avatar
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    My Husband1.0 program came with the Sensitive Guy Suite 5.0 (with the LookAtMeICanBeMacho add-on):

    CooksLikeEmeril4.0 with the YouStayOutOfTheKitchenThatsMyDomain Add-on.
    ImTiredOfPickingUpAfterYouButIllDoItAnyway4.5
    RescueHelplessAnimals3.2
    YouLookGreatInThat3.4
    NotAfraidToCry2.1

    Unfortunately, the Sensitive Guy Suite doesn't include HandyMan2.0 (although it does have the IThinkICanFixThat1.0 utility) and often conflicts with:

    ToysRUsKid3.4 with the TheyreCollectiblesNotActionFigures add-on
    ImWatchingTVDontBotherMe5.2
    MachoSports6.2

    The most annoying program it installs probably has to be:

    CanIUsetheComputerNowCanIUseTheComputerNowCanIUseTheComputerNow 7.2.

    And lately, I've noticed a new trojan... FixYourOwnDamnDinner. Can't seem to uninstall that one, but it only seems to trigger when the Husband1.0 program is stressed.

    -Don't criticize anyone til you've walked a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticize them, you'll be a mile away and have their shoes.
    - Silence is golden. Duct Tape is silver.

  22. #22
    ABW Ambassador Paul_Ward's Avatar
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    Problem with the Girlfriend suite is that it takes up too much system resources and frequently prevents any other applications from running at all.

    The more cavalier may wish wish to try "Miss-Tress 2, the future beckons" but this must ONLY be run on a completely separate games machine, preferably with force feedback controller and other gaming apparatus otherwise a hardware crash is inevitable.

  23. #23
    Canadienne extraordinaire Susan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rexanne
    LOL you guys!

    Husband 2.0 was as big a problem as husband 1.0 on my OS. Left me with a couple of non-purgable Trojans: kid.1 and kid.2 -

    Looking forward to Husband 3.0 - I heard it comes with a lot of the same features as 1.0 and 2.0 except has it's own version of Trojan which protects against the non-purgable types. But the best of 1 & 2 remain: lift heavy things, fix this and take care of car maintenance. Naturally, must be supported by Good wife 1.0 and OK fine, I'll cook 2.0.
    Probably best to leave the no-fail "I never get headaches" app installed from the original O.S.

    Woohooo, there's hope then Rexanne!
    Susan Arts
    Senior Vice President, Marketing
    Moxy Media

  24. #24
    ABW Ambassador Akiva's Avatar
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    I upgraded to Wife 1.0 and have been running for close to a year now with no downtime. In fact, Wife 1.0 enabled me to create Kid 1.0 - now that has some bugs that are keeping me up at night.
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  25. #25
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    When I found out how expensive my last trywifebeforeyoubuy was going to be, I let my trialwife expire before Y2k.

    A while later, I discovered a virtualrealitywifesite that looked too good to be true but, I bookmarked that virtualrealitywifesite anyway, just in case I needed to restore some virtualrealitywife game to play alone if I get bored or lonely, and since I don't do no backup for trywifebeforeyoubuy nor any Hard Drive backup anywhere, that's all I had for a while.

    But...............

    Since I later discovered that my Hard Drive don't like to have a virtualrealitywife, I decided to browse a shareGirlfriendware site, just too see what was out there, and to see if I can use my temp folder to store what I was looking, in order to decide what to do about my fragmented Hard Drive.

    But...............

    Since I accidentally downloaded a real shareGirlfriendware in order to try to please my fragmented Hard Drive, I had to deleted my temp shareware dir later because, I don't like to have any shareGirlfriendware on my Hard Drive, I don't like the idea of getting a virus instaled on my Hard Drive, just because one day I donwloaded a shareGirlfriendware to my root dir on my Hard Drive.

    I rather have a good directory of many freeGirlfriendware in beta, than to have any parasitewifeware in any stable version available, or any shareGirlfriendware, or any virtualrealitywife.

    So for now, all I can say to my Hard Drive is: Go Debug Yourself!

    And........

    I will stick to my on new PhP sessions lessons, and F**** (Hey that [F****] means format, you sick people!) my Hard Drive for now, because by this time next year, I will be able to give my Hard Drive something to fill all of those Fat 32 protected-mode Hard Drive interruptions handlings issues, everytime that some variables hit the selectfemale from table and I will be able to say:

    <? PP hP
    1- REQUEST female FROM directory (StripTheLashes) INSERT INTO directoty (all nine yards);
    2- GO to (LINE 1) or continue ( "Unable to stop now");

    // Loop back for ever
    ?>

    Disclaimer:

    I may accidentally had this thread derailed because of my love for all womans, and my new passion for PHP, so I will not be signing this post in case I went overboard, but if I went overboard, I was not here, I was reading a PHP book, or just having some String Variables with my own PHP_SELF_PHP_ HARD_DRIVE_ON my computer.

    BTW......

    If anyone find any typo on this post, feel free to use the function:

    <? PP hP
    set_error_handler (Sal_Post);

    1- REQUEST single_female FROM this_planet, Mars, moon, abw (StripTheLashes) INSERT INTO reply (only_single_females);
    2- GO to (LINE 1) or continue ( "Unable to stop now");

    // Loop back for ever
    ?>

    and don't bebug me, I am doing this (F****) thing at this moment, HEY, didn't you read what that mean above? (F**** = format, you sick people!)

    Post by an anonymous .


    ...

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