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  1. #1
    ABW Ambassador Trying to Win's Avatar
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    Does anyone else have a spouse that complains?
    Dose anyone else have a spouse that complains, about how much time you spend on the web?

    I just canít get my wife to understand, that affiliate marketing is the answer to all our money problems. I show her the cash that is coming in, as a matter of fact, this is the first year that Iíve made more money with affiliate marketing, than I have with my electrician job.

    Yet, I still get complaints about how much time I spend working on the web. Than the next day, I get requests to buy a new house, and other stuff. I try to explain that, building this business, will give her a new house, and the family time she wants, but I still need more time to learn, and build the business to get it all.

    Has anyone else had to go through these problems?
    Just a squirrel trying to get a nut, in the Internet jungle.

  2. #2
    What's the word? Rhia7's Avatar
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    Family members have complained that I am an "Internet addict."
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  3. #3
    Affiliate Manager nish's Avatar
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    Rhia, Don't know how much of an internet addict you are, but you surely are an ABW addict A few of us so badly need a support group.

    -nishith

  4. #4
    What's the word? Rhia7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nish
    Rhia, Don't know how much of an internet addict you are, but you surely are an ABW addict A few of us so badly need a support group.

    -nishith
    *Chuckle*
    ~Rhia7 -- Remember the 7
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  5. #5
    ABW Ambassador Trying to Win's Avatar
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    Just a squirrel trying to get a nut, in the Internet jungle.

  6. #6
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    "Has anyone else had to go through these problems?"

    It's something to watch out for. Seriously.

  7. #7
    Affiliate Manager nish's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhia7
    *Chuckle*
    I think the smilies are Rhia's way to keep herself going through the difficult times. Its her first step in the 7 step support group program

  8. #8
    Troll Killer and best Snooper!
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    My husband is fine with the time I spend working on my sites. He likes to see the checks come in! He does sometimes tell me he thinks I work too hard, but it's out of concern for my welfare. He doesn't push it. I also think that he works too hard, too. You do what you gotta do.

    Maybe you should ask your wife what she'd prefer you do with your time. You might get an interesting (and useful) answer.

  9. #9
    Analytics Dude Kevin's Avatar
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    Every relationship is different, but in mine with my wife, which is fortunately still very good, it became clear that I was straining it working full time and then SERIOUSLY approaching aff marketing another 4-5 hours a day.

    Time goes by very fast when you're on the net.

    I have some new net projects now, and a job with a little more freedom, but I still strain it from time to time. She is very understanding, but I still try to be VERY careful about assuring we spend some quality time together.

    TrustNo1 is ABSOLUTELY right...
    Kevin Webster
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  10. #10
    Full Member Deb's Avatar
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    I only got complaints until the checks started coming in. Now, he's okay with the amount of time I spend. He even will let me know if he finds a store online that has an affiliate program, in case I want to sign up for it.

    He doesn't want me to talk about it, though. He doesn't understand enough about it to discuss it. He goes on overload when I start talking about my database or something else to do with the business.

    And, he doesn't understand about how much help one can get from a forum like this. He thinks I'm wasting valuable time "chatting" instead of working on my websites. I tell him this is working on my sites.

  11. #11
    Moderator MichaelColey's Avatar
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    That can be a really serious problem. You have to prioritize and determine how much time to spend with your family, how much time to spend working on your sites, etc. It takes a balance. If your sites are ultra-successful but you lose your family, was it worth it?

    I think most of us have (and enjoy) not having a schedule, but a schedule can really help. If there are set times that you're working and set times that you're doing family things, I think it's less stressful to your spouse.

    It also helps when it's clear that the business (and that's what it is) is providing benefits to the family. Set some goals and let your business help to meet those goals. Some ideas: Getting out of debt, funding a retirement account, vacations, a new car or house, being able to quit a day job, a spouse being able to quit a day job, getting a housekeeper and/or lawn service, afternoon escapes to the movies, etc.

    Don't let money be the biggest thing, though. Your time is more valuable than your money. On your deathbed, you won't say "I wish I had earned more money." Memories are made from the time you spend with people, not the things you can buy for them.
    Michael Coley
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  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trying to Win
    Dose anyone else have a spouse that complains, about how much time you spend on the web?

    I just canít get my wife to understand, that affiliate marketing is the answer to all our money problems. I show her the cash that is coming in, as a matter of fact, this is the first year that Iíve made more money with affiliate marketing, than I have with my electrician job.

    Yet, I still get complaints about how much time I spend working on the web. Than the next day, I get requests to buy a new house, and other stuff. I try to explain that, building this business, will give her a new house, and the family time she wants, but I still need more time to learn, and build the business to get it all.

    Has anyone else had to go through these problems?
    I have a part time j*o*b that pays enough that my kids and I can get by (we have to be really thrifty, though). I don't get another job, part time or otherwise cuz this allows me the time I need to work on affiliate marketing.

    I'm not married so I don't have that problem. I do have other relatives, however, and I can't count how many times I've heard "You're addicted to the internet!" (said in a really, really snotty tone). It certainly doesn't help that there are TV shows about individuals addicted to internet p0rn (personally I think they're addicted to p0rn-the net just makes access and hiding it easier). A couple of relatives even got downright VICIOUS with me about it (I was completely stunned by that).

    So now I don't discuss what I do with anyone. I don't discuss what I make with anyone, either. They all think I don't do THAT anymore. ("Didn't work, huh? Told ya so!") I keep my head down, my mouth shut and mentally give 'em the finger.

    Did you consider that maybe it's not the time your spending on the computer so much as she's feeling neglected? Try setting aside time devoted just to her each week - better yet, ask her out on a date for Saturday night (be sure to give her plenty of time to get ready - that's half the fun for girls!). Be sure to arrange for a babysitter ahead of time if you have kids (a nice touch to show you care). Then try doing that at least twice a month, once a week is better. After all, if you're making more in affiliate marketing than at you're regular job, you can afford it.
    Blessed Be,
    White Wolf

  13. #13
    Internet Cowboy
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    I find myself working crazy hours for weeks on end. I often sit down at my computer with a cup of coffee and find myself still sitting there at dinner time and often still there when the Tonight Show comes on. My girlfriend has accepted this.

    I make a point to take a few weeks off a few times a year and only check stats. During this time, I do no new construction or anything like that, only check stats a few times a day.

    We travel during these times or we just hang out around the house, but those times are earmarked for my family and friends.

    I took nearly the whole month of December off last year. That was awesome!


  14. #14
    ABW Ambassador Trying to Win's Avatar
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    Thanks for the input, good advice from all. I guess I need to work on managing my time between everything better. Iíve just been trying to push things, because I see freedom from that job getting closer everyday, and that will free up 40 hrs a week. The last two years, I was forced to take a lot of time away from business development, or I would already be there. It just frustrates me when we fight about it, because she knows how much we need the money. Iíll make it all work out. In the end, it will be the best for both money and family. Iím sure all of you that to have to go into a job every day would agree.
    Just a squirrel trying to get a nut, in the Internet jungle.

  15. #15
    What's the word? Rhia7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trying to Win

    Yet, I still get complaints about how much time I spend working on the web.
    She wants some attention.

    Quality time together can at times be more important than the material

    ~Rhia7 -- Remember the 7
    Twitter me

  16. #16
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    The real question here would be: "Does anyone have a spouse that DON'T complain?"

    *runs fast to escape the stoning*

    Seriously, I'm not married but I know that, for couples in general, if one works too hard on something or spend a lot of time on hobbys or work / part time work, it may cause problems. Girls likes attention (no offense meant, it's true) and they have to feel loved more than men in general.

  17. #17
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    My EX husband used to complain about the time I spent online. Now, he's decided that since I "make enough" money, he doesn't have to pay child support anymore ... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

    My kids have come to accept the fact that I'm on the computer 24/7 and they're busy doing their own thing so it works out. Many times I have to make an effort to get out of this chair and go do something with them, though. It's very easy to get "lost" online for the entire day and night.

    If we were out of the house working at a j*b the hours we put into our sites, no one would think anything of it but going to a j*b is usually more scheduled and I doubt anyone gets as obsessive about a j*b as much as we are about our sites and what we "do" online.

    I think the real issue for a lot of us is it's too easy to start living a "virtual" life that can take the place of a life off line. At this time, I don't have a significant other to get me off the computer and out into the world so that energy goes into building pages and new sites, which works really well because that "energy" is powerful and wherever it goes, tends to produce powerful results. I'd much prefer a balance but don't have one right now. Maybe if I got off the computer and went into the world more, I'd find a significant other. LOL

    My family and friends accuse me of being an Internet addict all the time. Meanwhile, when they see that I'm able to support my kids by the effort I've put out the past 8 years, they shut up. Most are jealous that I don't have to "go to work" or that I can sleep as long as I damn well please and that I enjoy what I do. One "friend" in particular who was particularly nasty about my "addiction" is now struggling to keep her off line business alive because she's losing customers to the Internet equivalent of her niche. HA HA - She's always been a jealous b*tch anyway so I don't feel bad making fun of her grief. ;-)

    And yeah, we all need the "support" from ABW to keep from feeling isolated and alone in our work, most especially because most other people don't understand what we do. If we were going to a j*b and having to make sales or succeed, our spouses would very likely be more understanding and tolerant of the time we put into our "work" just because it would be more understandable. Bottom line is how much money we're able to bring in doing this. If it's enough to survive and live well, I suspect we're taken more seriously.

    I think if one has a family or significant other, it is crucial to set aside time to spend with them. It's too easy to get lost online and it feels threatening to loved ones. It's about "attention" - our attention can be very focused on the screen in front of us and all-absorbing. Because most of us are at home working, it appears that we're ignoring everyone else in the house. If we were "in the office" we would not be scrutinized as closely or appear as "obsessed" to those not doing what we're doing. If we're "in the office" we are expected to be focused and absorbed by our work while we're there and it's really no different but seems to be.

    TTW, because you're at home doing your j*b, it probably appears to your wife that you're ignoring her and being "too" focused on the computer "all the time." If it was any other job where we worked at home, we'd probably feel more justified in demanding respect for "work time and space" but because we've all created something from nothing, it's possible we and others don't respect it as much as if someone ELSE was paying us to do our work. It's not right, just what is.

    Consider us the new "immigrants" ... coming to the "new world, trying to make a life. Immigrants struggled mightily 100 years ago and often worked ungodly hours to make it. Generations later, their families are reaping the rewards of their hard work and diligence.

    As a parting comment, my ex-husband's best friend said to him: "Have you considered that the time Rexanne is putting into the computer is for the benefit of the family?" My ex decided to share this with me just a few weeks ago, after a rather gentle discussion about him not paying child support yet another month ... and me having all the responsibility of our children, both financial and physical. I think he's now beginning to "get it" although he's still a pig. LOL
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  18. #18
    ABW Ambassador Trying to Win's Avatar
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    Awesome post Rexanne! I totally agree with your comments!

    Good luck with the ex, I have one too. I do make my payments each week, and am lucky enough to have my son with me every weekend. Or should I say most weekends, he's turning 16, and sometimes wants to do his own thing. But that is to be expected.
    Just a squirrel trying to get a nut, in the Internet jungle.

  19. #19
    ABW Ambassador erninator's Avatar
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    Looking back five years:

    First year: "Are you still on that damn computer?"
    Second year: "Did you get the mail today?"
    Third year: (While on vacation) "Did you check your stats today?"
    Fourth Year: "You need to make more pages"
    Fifth Year: "How do I get Google to crawl my new pages?"
    ~Ernie

  20. #20
    I like traffic lights
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  21. #21
    ABW Adviser Panel Dynamoo's Avatar
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    I find buying your spouse expensive things.. like cars.. with your earnings always helps.

    And to echo erninator, yes Mrs Dynamoo is now working on her own affiliate site
    Innovative advertising with Slimeware Corporation and Telephore. Mail-order fuel with Petrol Direct.

  22. #22
    The Eternal Optimist zimmy's Avatar
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    Looking back five years:

    First year: "Are you still on that damn computer?"
    Second year: "Did you get the mail today?"
    Third year: (While on vacation) "Did you check your stats today?"
    Fourth Year: "You need to make more pages"
    Fifth Year: "How do I get Google to crawl my new pages?"
    Oh that is so great - and so very familiar!! I am in just about the same scenario...but not quite 5 years. I am on year 4 - I think. Time is such a slippery thing.


    My husband, at first, complained about the time that I spent on the computer. But then, once I began making good money, he stopped complaining and started building sites himself.

    Now he is fighting me for *my* laptop that *I* bought so *I* could work on my sites while sitting with the family.



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  23. #23
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    Great post Rexanne. The bigger problem too is when spouses/significant others/family don't consider working on the internet as "working" and demand your attention when you want to be or should be working. They think you can "pay attention to me now and work later" and then later never comes. It is a common problem with not just working on the internet, but telecommuting or working at home in general....

    Even though I am in a corporate situation at the moment, I don't think I will have an SO anytime soon because I still "work at home" and my lifestyle is not condusive to someone that wants/requires attention "right now" And when I say "just a minute" it could be hours....
    Deborah Carney
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  24. #24
    ABW Ambassador JudiMoore's Avatar
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    My husband and I have always tried to do whatever we had to do job-wise to raise six kids and keep ourselves in that enviable position of eating regularly AND living indoors. Over the years, we've had some "killer" hours and some "unemployed" hours and both SUCK.

    We have learned the hard way that paying attention to each other is more important than any 1 other thing we do. It's not a lesson that sticks, in fact I went to bed grumpy last night because he stood up in the middle of our TV date and started downloading a new version of Mepis. We have learned to grab each other by the ear and say "Let's go play somewhere we CAN'T find a hotspot".

    We both get into our creative mode once in awhile (2-3 times a week) and find out we've been here in this chair ALL day (or ALL night) and didn't realize it. If we were younger and had children, we couldn't go as all out as we are right now, but we have a shared goal, which is retirement to somewhere warm and working ONLY on our affiliate business, so we're putting in the time now.

    Everything that everyone above said is SO true. People around us were strange before we discovered the internet, they will still be strange when we're on to something newer and better in the future. No matter what you're doing with your life, there will be those who think you're not good enough and those who are jealous because you are doing better. Nature of the beast.

    Try celebrating little victories together (more sales, better rank, whatever) and absolutely carve out time when you do not even look in the direction of the computer.

  25. #25
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trying to Win
    Awesome post Rexanne! I totally agree with your comments!

    Good luck with the ex, I have one too. I do make my payments each week, and am lucky enough to have my son with me every weekend. Or should I say most weekends, he's turning 16, and sometimes wants to do his own thing. But that is to be expected.
    My 17 year-old daughter is gone more than she's home, too. They're off and running ... they leave for good right when they get interesting. LOL - (Sean Connery said something similar to Harrison Ford in one of the Indiana Jones movies.) When you can finally stand listening to them babble on for hours and it starts to make sense and they allow you to "talk" back, they're gone and you'll miss them ... I think . ;-)
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


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