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  1. #1
    Affiliate Manager DavidVanHook's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Scenario That got me in the dawg house. Answer at you own risk
    Your spouse comes to you to convey an interest in starting their own business with a co-worker from work, and the co-worker is of the opposite sex.

    All the Background you get for this scenario: Between your spouse's business saavy and the co-worker's sales experience, on paper they would be qualified to create a start-up company and possibly be successful. Your spouse and their co-worker would have enough money to start this venture. Also note that the co-worker who is the same sex as you is a lot more attractive than you(by your own measure), but as far as you know there is no attraction between your spouse and the co-worker.

    Could you be okay with this business partnership? based on the info provided.

    If you can't answer because you need a certain piece of information. Just post can't answer and why. or go ahead and answer this scenario with your piece of information included.

  2. #2
    affiliate emeritus missdonna's Avatar
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    Very dangerous. I wouldn't be happy with it.
    Affiliate Marketing - The hardest easy money I ever made.

  3. #3
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    I wouldn't have a problem with it. Usually when guys get jealous, that jealousy leads to what they were worried about in the first place. You can't control people, their feelings. Jealous/controlling type behavior is a good way to push them to other people. If someone is going to cheat, they're going to cheat, regardless of what you do.

  4. #4
    Outsourced Program Manager Angel Djambazov's Avatar
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    Business is business. Attraction is attraction. If you don't trust your spouse then there is something wrong with the relationship in the first place. Personally, I would be supportive of the venture.
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  5. #5
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    Maybe she can makes lots of money and be your sugar momma.

  6. #6
    Affiliate Manager DavidVanHook's Avatar
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    Good answers: here is what I blurted out that got me in the dawg house for a minute. My response was "if I knew the guy then Yeah, sure, if not, then No, because I can't trust someone I didn't know." (Big mistake) because she simply replied back to say "you trust me to make the right decisions and you always trusted my judgement and I wouldn't even consider a partnership with someone who I did not respect and trusted." (I got the point and felt foolish).

    I trust my wife's judgement...(I'll plead the 5th if you probe this answer deeper)

  7. #7
    Resident Genius and Staunch Capitalist Leader's Avatar
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    Could you be okay with this business partnership? based on the info provided.
    Not with just that info--I'd have to know whether this co-worker was straight or not. But even if I was told the person was gay, I'd have to have reason to believe it (for instance having seen the person attending events with his/her same-sex partner) before signing off. If the co-worker is gay then I don't think I'd have a problem with it--they wouldn't be competition. At least not competing for her LOL...YOU may get some unwanted passes, though!

    If the person is straight, it's a sticky situation. Also, it's a catch-22. If you say Hell No, then you're jealous. And if you agree, then you "don't care."

    Humans...

    Edit: Saw above post.

    I wouldn't even consider a partnership with someone who I respect and trusted." (I got the point and felt foolish).
    Glad YOU got the point, because that sounds completely illogical to me! Was she being sarcastic?!
    There is no knowledge that is not power. ~Hemingway

  8. #8
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    is the coworker married? if yes, then why not make the business a four-person affair? that means you two and them two.

    second, be straight with your spouse. not the confrontational type, more of the intimate type: hey darling i'm jealous, hahaha. serious though, that will actually make you closer to each other.

    a problem do exist if the business is a hands-on affair and only your spouse and the coworker runs it. too much familiarity can be dangerous.

  9. #9
    Affiliate Manager DavidVanHook's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leader
    Not with just that info--I'd have to know whether this co-worker was straight or not. But even if I was told the person was gay, I'd have to have reason to believe it (for instance having seen the person attending events with his/her same-sex partner) before signing off. If the co-worker is gay then I don't think I'd have a problem with it--they wouldn't be competition. At least not competing for her LOL...YOU may get some unwanted passes, though!

    If the person is straight, it's a sticky situation. Also, it's a catch-22. If you say Hell No, then you're jealous. And if you agree, then you "don't care."

    Humans...
    lol

  10. #10
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    I'd be in the dawg house too Mate. Not so much trust nor jealousy but ...
    if ya don't want to drink from the bottle, best not to sit around with it in your hand. Things just tend to happen.

  11. #11
    Affiliate Manager DavidVanHook's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leader
    Glad YOU got the point, because that sounds completely illogical to me! Was she being sarcastic?!
    Caught it, Fixed it, Thanks. That would've conveyed another message.

  12. #12
    notary sojac Herb ԿԬ's Avatar
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    I'd be much more worried about some MLM idea creeping through the door.

  13. #13
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Herb ԿԬ
    I'd be much more worried about some MLM idea creeping through the door.
    Peace,

    Rexanne

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  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by TrustNo1
    Maybe she can makes lots of money and be your sugar momma.
    That's what I'm sayin'!!

    I wouldn't have a problem w/ it...
    Hi, I'm a signature.

  15. #15
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    It's a tough situation. My ex was incredibly possessive and jealous which had to have been torture for him because I'm as independent as it gets and any show of insecurity sent me running.

    However, there is always the danger of your wife and her "partner" getting a little closer than you'd feel comfortable with. They will have something in common that you will not be involved in and they'll be way into it for at least the first year and spending a lot of time together. Anything could come of it but going crazy and making a fuss now will make you look bad and insecure. Looks like you're gonna have to trust your wife. She will need you to be suportive and there for her, just as you will still need her to be supportive and there for you. If your relationship is stable and strong, this shouldn't be a problem but that's also an ideal fantasy, huh?

    I would most likely be uncomfortable in the same situation but you have to be supportive or you will drive her away. A strong foundation doesn't crumble easily. Communication is said to be the best foundation for a relationship so maybe communicate how you're feeling to your wife and maintain honest and open communication throughout the first year of her business especially. The fact that this guy is "far more attractive" than you really doesn't have any bearing on how your wife "feels" about him but if my husband wanted to go into partnership with a woman who was 'far more attractive' than me, I'd be uncomfortable, too but men place a lot mor importance on looks than women do. Be her best friend and lover so she won't look for that in her partner.
    Peace,

    Rexanne

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  16. #16
    ABW Ambassador danay's Avatar
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    You have a right to communicate your feelings and concerns to your wife, but you must realize that she will cheat on you if she wants to with a man that is more handsome, less handsome, a friend, a biz associate, a partner or a total stranger.

    Enjoy the fact that she is a bright woman with the drive to start a business. That's probably one of the things you love about her, so don't try to stifle it with insecurities. Just stay involved and communicate alot.

    I've worked very closely for long periods of time with people who my husband may have felt uncomfortable with. I travel with co-workers all the time and am away at trade shows pretty often. I have never once entertained thoughts of anything other than business or friendship with anyone other than him. And I never will

    ...unless HE cheats on me and then I shall end him
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  17. #17
    MasterMike HardwareGeek's Avatar
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    Let them do it but if you are worried
    Offer to give an investment so you can be a partner.

  18. #18
    More Cheesier Than Ever Cheesehead's Avatar
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    Your wife has to make the final decision.

    My personal policy: I will not even have lunch with another women except in the company of others in a business setting. It's always been my policy to not be too close to any women other than my wife, no matter how innocent the situation. If a man and woman are together alone a lot, there is potential for even the most faithful and trusted to stumble. My wife is the jealous type, but I don't give her anything to be jealous about. She has a similar policy herself about doing things with other men. It works well. Going on 16 years of marriage with no end in sight.

    Perhaps gently remind her that if this will be a situation where she is spending a lot of time with this fellow alone, it may not be good for the marriage. Then leave her to make the decision and trust her until she gives you reason otherwise.
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  19. #19
    Moderator MichaelColey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cheesehead
    My personal policy: I will not even have lunch with another women except in the company of others in a business setting. It's always been my policy to not be too close to any women other than my wife, no matter how innocent the situation. If a man and woman are together alone a lot, there is potential for even the most faithful and trusted to stumble. My wife is the jealous type, but I don't give her anything to be jealous about. She has a similar policy herself about doing things with other men.
    Excellent advice!
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  20. #20
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    the heck with letting them going it alone.
    what is preventing you from getting involve in the business?

    if your spouse cares about how you feel, she'll let you in.


    remember, even good people can do bad things.

    then again, define "bad"

  21. #21
    ABW Ambassador JJJay's Avatar
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    You have to trust your wife and support the partnership. To show there are no hard feelings, what better way than to purchase a fine art print they can hang on their office wall.

    http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...&category=1468

  22. #22
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JJJay
    You have to trust your wife and support the partnership. To show there are no hard feelings, what better way than to purchase a fine 1908 art print they can hang on their office wall.

    http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...&category=1468
    LOL LOL
    Peace,

    Rexanne

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  23. #23
    Moderator leeann's Avatar
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    I am in a partnership with a male friend and my husband understands that it is a partnership that makes sense and works. My partner is also married and the four of us get together whenever possible. His wife seems to be as comfortable with the situation as my husband. The only time when it gets uncomfortable is when my partner and I don't agree then everyone sort of goes off into their own corner and waits for things to come back into sync. I think it's a matter of maturity and trust.. trusting yourself to know there is no risk involved.
    leeann


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  24. #24
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
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    In part, the answer would depend on how well you think the families of those two get along and trust each other. It's not just going to be about personal relations, it also about money. Is the person a good money manager? Is he a spendthrift or someone who will commit the 'company' to large financial obligations without due thought and input from your wife?

    Gotta admit, it would make me a little jealous, but in the end, one has to let your wife persue her dreams and be supportive. It falls to her to understand the mixed feelings her spouse will invariably have, and put them to rest.

    Oh, and if it will help, I will be happy to forward my Bowflex affiliate site and jewelry site to you, I'm sure that spending several thousand dollars there will make you feel better
    Following everyone else is a GREAT way to become average.

  25. #25
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    I find all of this bizarre.

    Maybe because I have all sisters and a ton of female friends and we have been together a long time, but wow...do you guys know the people you are married to? Is cheating nothing more than something you can't get away with? No lunch with a female except in the company of others? What the hell... seriously. I can't keep reading this thread, it just freaks me out.

    No wonder divorce rates are so high.

    I haven't and wouldn't blink in a second. Geez, be supportive.

    Wow...

    Chet

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