Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    CPA Network Rep Jon@Fluxads's Avatar
    Join Date
    September 9th, 2005
    Location
    Sun Diego
    Posts
    461
    Talking ....Fly Qantas
    ....Fly Qantas





    Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a

    form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.



    Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas'pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.



    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.



    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.



    P: Something loose in cockpit.

    S: Something tightened in cockpit.



    P: Dead bugs on windshield.

    S: Live bugs on back-order.



    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.



    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

    S: Evidence removed.



    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

    S: DME volume set to more believable level.



    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

    S: That's what they're for.



    P: IFF inoperative.

    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.



    P: Suspected crack in windshield.

    S: Suspect you're right.



    P: Number 3 engine missing.

    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.



    P: Aircraft handles funny.

    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.



    P: Target radar hums.

    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.



    P: Mouse in cockpit.

    S: Cat installed.



    And the best one for last.................



    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

    S: Took hammer away from midget
    Jon Lyons
    Director of Affiliate Operations
    jon.lyons@fluxads.com | 1-877-GO-2-FLUX | FluxAds.com

    LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/jrlyons

  2. #2
    Member
    Join Date
    March 2nd, 2006
    Posts
    52
    hahahaha oh no I'm crying that's funny!

  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador meadowmufn's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    2,587
    Uhh.. WAS the only major airline without an accident.


    http://www.airdisaster.com/photos/qf1/1.jpg
    -Don't criticize anyone til you've walked a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticize them, you'll be a mile away and have their shoes.
    - Silence is golden. Duct Tape is silver.

  4. #4
    I like traffic lights
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Southern hemisphere - away from Fukushima
    Posts
    2,936
    Yes, as soon as I read that, I thought of that rather embarassing "dig the nose into the ground" incident.

    But I'd still fly them over a large number of other airlines.

  5. #5
    ABW Ambassador
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    4,053
    That is very, very funny!

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •