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  1. #1
    Moderator MichaelColey's Avatar
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    LMI and the Mad Doctor
    Doctor: There's nothing wrong with your fingers, but we're going to cut four of them off.

    Patient: I don't want my fingers cut off! I need my fingers to do my job.

    Doctor: Don't worry. We don't have to do it right away.

    Patient: I never want my fingers cut off.

    Doctor: We'll give you six month's notice.

    Patient: I still don't want my fingers cut off.

    Doctor: We did some research, and you really don't use those other two fingers on each hand.

    Patient: I'm quite attached to my fingers. You might not think that I use them, but I really do.

    Doctor: Everyone is doing it. Mickey Mouse only has three fingers on each hand.

    Patient: I'm not a cartoon character.

    Doctor: You really keep all of your fingers.

    Patient: Really? That's great! (But I do question your skills as a doctor now.)

    Doctor: We never said you could keep all of your fingers. You misunderstood us.

    Patient: You're nuts.

    Doctor: For now, we're just going to tape down two of your fingers on each hand. You can still use all five if you want to, but you'll need to remove the tape each time you want to use them and put it back when you're through.

    Patient: That's just stupid. I'm not going to do that.

    Doctor: I can see that you're concerned, but this really is for the best.

    Doctor (to the Medical Review Board): Some of the patients were initially opposed to the idea, but we think that in time they will agree. Maybe one or two years.

    Patient: I'm going to another hospital. Bye!
    Michael Coley
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  2. #2
    ABW Ambassador MoneyBusiness's Avatar
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    Very nice! I've got one particular finger I'd like The Doctor to take a look at...
    Follow my dog, Maya, and I, as we fumble around the affiliate marketing world: www.MarketingMaya.com
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  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador Ron Bechdolt's Avatar
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    OH, THAT WAS JUST TOO FUNNY!

    Classic, simply classic. I think you are in the wrong profession (obviously CJ does).

    Thanks, Michael, it was nice to laugh about this mess for a change.

    p.s. Is there some kind of mockery post of the year award we can nominate this for? It has my vote.
    Ron Bechdolt | Affiliate Program Management Consultant
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  4. #4
    Web Ho - Design B!tch ~Michelle's Avatar
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    Love it!
    ~Michelle
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  5. #5
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    Terrific! My wish is that this make the rounds through every VLCK and CJ employee computer.

  6. #6
    Moderator Nabz's Avatar
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    LOL,
    I was all worried about LMI when I read your post, I couldn't help laughing. Great post. Some one should make a print of it and sent it to CJ's office.

  7. #7
    Lite On The Do, Heavy On The Nuts Donuts's Avatar
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    Love it!!!

  8. #8
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    I would pay money for videotape with you telling that at CJU

  9. #9
    notary sojac Herb ԿԬ's Avatar
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    Lightbulb
    speaking of which, did it sell out much more slowly this year?

  10. #10
    ABW Ambassador Ron Bechdolt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Herb ԿԬ
    speaking of which, did it sell out much more slowly this year?
    Not sure. I looked back in Archive.com and see for this time that year it still had openings. Archive.com does not have any pages for CJ available for a year ago.

    Actually, I think everyone going to CJU should tape down a couple of their fingers. Expecially your right hand when you do handshakes and the CJ chiefs ask what happened to your fingers.
    Ron Bechdolt | Affiliate Program Management Consultant
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  11. #11
    ABW Ambassador
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    "Doctor: For now, we're just going to tape down two of your fingers on each hand. You can still use all five if you want to, but you'll need to remove the tape each time you want to use them and put it back when you're through."

  12. #12
    The slot machine that IS paid! Billy Kay's Avatar
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    Wow! That was really good!

  13. #13
    ABW Ambassador ticketguyz's Avatar
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    I like the tape comment... perfectly fits the lame "get html" process.

  14. #14
    http and a telephoto
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    Perfect....
    Deborah Carney
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  15. #15
    general fuq mrbshouse's Avatar
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    FRINGIN BEST LAUGH roflmao ;-)

    I'll chip into the video tape fund...

  16. #16
    Moderator leeann's Avatar
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    Totally the way it is. rof..
    leeann


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  17. #17
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MoneyBusiness


    Very nice! I've got one particular finger I'd like The Doctor to take a look at...
    LOL LOL

    Michael, great parody - classic!
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
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  18. #18
    Troll Killer and best Snooper!
    I decide when the pigs fly!
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    Righteous!

    I think Michael's post needs to be stickied to the top of this forum.
    The only thing I'd add is to have the doctor try to convince the patient that "all the really cool, cutting-edge people are doing this."

  19. #19
    Moderator MichaelColey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhea
    The only thing I'd add is to have the doctor try to convince the patient that "all the really cool, cutting-edge people are doing this."
    That's in there!

    "Doctor: Everyone is doing it. Mickey Mouse only has three fingers on each hand."

    Thanks for the comments everyone!
    Michael Coley
    Amazing-Bargains.com
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  20. #20
    ABW Ambassador Snib's Avatar
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    Funny stuff Michael, I sure hope CJ reads this. I also hope they've noticed our avatars aren't changing back.

    - Scott
    Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all transgressions.

  21. #21
    ABW Ambassador purplebear's Avatar
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    Lol

  22. #22
    ABW Ambassador La_Valette's Avatar
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    This one is a classic
    Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. -- Homer Simpson

  23. #23
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    One more way to give CJ - the finger

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