Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1
    CPA Network Rep Jon@Fluxads's Avatar
    Join Date
    September 9th, 2005
    Sun Diego
    Talking A couple laughs to entertain your day...
    A man was in court for a double murder, and the judge said, "You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."

    A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You bastard!"

    The judge continued, "You are also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."

    Again, the voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You damned bastard!"

    The judge stopped, looked at the man in the back of the courtroom, and said, "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime, but I will not have any more of these outbursts from you, or I shall charge you with contempt! Now is that a problem?"

    The man at the back of the court stood up and responded, "For fifteen years, I have lived next door to that bastard, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer ... he said he never had one!"


    Moods of a Woman

    An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,
    A woman is a bundle of contradiction,
    She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,
    But will tackle her boyfriend alone in the house.
    Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,
    She'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,
    She'll win you in range, enchant you in silk,
    She'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk;
    At times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad,
    She'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad.


    Moods of a Man



    Jesse took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Amber?" asked Jesse. "I want to get weighed," replied Amber.

    They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.

    Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Jesse again asked Amber what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said.

    Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Jesse lost his dollar.

    The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," Amber responded.

    By this time, Jesse figured that she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.

    Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How did it go?" Amber responded, "Oh, Waura. It was wousy."
    [B]Jon Lyons[/B]
    Director of Affiliate Operations
    [EMAIL=""][SIZE=1][/SIZE][/EMAIL][SIZE=1] | 1-877-GO-2-FLUX | [URL=""][/URL][/SIZE]

    [SIZE=1]LinkedIn: [URL][/URL][/SIZE]

  2. #2
    Affiliate Manager harrymond's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    India / Thailand
    LoL fantastic..

    Mondera Affiliate Manager
    Winner of the LinkShare 2004 Golden Link Awards "Affiliate's Choice Award"
    Winner of the 2002 "Best Affiliate Program Award"

  3. #3
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Los Angeles

    Thanks for the giggles!

    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic

  4. #4
    Member IronChef253's Avatar
    Join Date
    July 20th, 2006
    Redmond, WA
    Hahaha...the hammer joke is classic

  5. Newsletter Signup

+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. Just for laughs
    By Susan in forum Virtual Family and Off-Topic
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: February 15th, 2007, 05:29 PM
  2. Some topical laughs
    By Sheri in forum Virtual Family and Off-Topic
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: July 21st, 2006, 02:09 PM
  3. christmas laughs from downunder
    By oscar in forum Virtual Family and Off-Topic
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: December 19th, 2004, 02:54 AM
  4. Just for laughs
    By phillyburbs in forum Midnight Cafe'
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: June 3rd, 2003, 08:05 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts