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  1. #1
    Full Member
    Join Date
    January 17th, 2005
    Having just recently relocated my place of business, (well, maybe relocated is perhaps
    too harsh of a word... I've moved my butt from the living room couch to the outdoor swing set) I'm finding that I seem to be rapidly loosing the telecommuters Prime Perk: The Afternoon Nap.

    While MSNBC says that nearly 50% of the world nap in the afternoon, (an old article is located at: I'm finding lately that the Nap is
    becoming virtually unattainable.

    Not to confuse the issue, and to forestall any complaints, there are, in fact, a number
    of different definitions of A Nap:

    1) A Drift. While not technically A Nap, A Drift consists of an extremely short period
    of time (usually less than 10 seconds) where you have no idea of where you are physically
    located and is usually accompanied by some sort of falling sensation back to reality. Once back into reality, The Driftee will invariably look left to right (or right to left) and generally stands up with a coffee cup. Cats are subject to Drifting all of the time.

    2) A Doze. A Doze usually is of a time factor of somewhere between A Drift and five to seven minutes. A Doze is usually supported by a hand/arm combination, a chair headrest, or more commonly, a breastbone. Most Dozers will try to achieve the Anonymous Doze (chin on the breastbone) while most Computer people opt for the Full Throat Doze where you will generally see the Dozer's head over the back of his/her chair with the full expanse of the Dozer's throat showing. Full Throat Dozes are actually frowned upon in the dot-com world but are generally acceptable in most government organizations.

    3) A Double Doze. Usually extending between six and fifteen minutes, the Double Doze is
    usually only accomplished by ingesting an extremely large meal with a couple of beverages. While extremely similar to A Doze in execution, the Double Doze usually is exited by either a hand/arm combination that has 'gone to sleep', or a loud, snoring-type noise, or a co-worker insisting that your cube needs conditioning. A poorly executed Double Anonymous Doze is accompanied by any drool marks on shirt material.

    4) A Power Nap. Extending between 15 and 60 minutes the Power Nap takes real talent to
    achieve especially when the time has exceeded 45 minutes. Secondary talent requirements sually comprise of the ability to simply 'be awake'; the ability to carry on a conversation while eyes are closed and the more harder to achieve talent of breathing through your nose without making a sound. Poorly executed Power Naps usually consist of keyboard impressions on the Napper's forehead, large drool marks, especially down the chin and throat area and falling out of chairs.

    5) The Nap. Usually extending between 60 and 120 minutes, The Nap is generally only
    achieved by stay at home telecommuters and/or self employed individuals. The Nap is rarely accomplished in a commercial environment and is frowned upon in government organizations. Successful execution of The Nap is usually accompanied by a full bladder upon termination; an overheated laptop battery usually mis-situated around the groin area and/or The Cat deciding that you truly have died, and your face would make an interesting sleeping pad.

    This, obviously, is an enormous problem for some of us who work from home. Personally, I'm finding that I'm having some difficulty maintaining the skill set to achieve The Nap, and in fact, I've only managed it twice in the last week. A most distressing loss of valuable skill and talent.

    I would be most interested in hearing from fellow Skilled Nappers on how they achieve The Nap in their area of the world.


  2. #2
    ABW Ambassador
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Cj, When you close your eyes just imagine a very serene atmosphere all around you.

    (I always think of a waterfall in the rain forest)

    Now visualize each color of the rainbow,

    (((in this exact order)))


    you must vividly see each color, one at a time, in your minds eye. (Visualize bunches of things that are each color, i.e.: apples, oranges, bananas, etc...)

    You can get really good at this if practiced enough. (Works for me in just minutes)

    Actually by the time you get to purple you should imagine yourself in an aura or cloud of purple haze.

    You are now breathing easier, relaxed, your heart rate has even slowed a few beats per minute.

    Did you enjoy your nap? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]


    New research says those who can take power-naps in the afternoon are as much as 40% more productive than the nap-deprived!

  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador
    Join Date
    January 17th, 2005
    @ breeze

    I got a red hammer :eek:

  4. #4
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Edmonton Canada
    @ Guffy [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

    you and that bl**dy red hammer [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

  5. #5
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Man, I'd just like to sleep at night, let alone have a nap in the afternoon!


    [ 05-31-2002: Message edited by: elbowcreek ]

  6. #6
    ABW Veteran Student Heyder's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    The rain forest didn't work for me. Just as I started to doze a huge skeeter landed on my nose and burried her tube. Now I itch!

    Next time I'll bring the mosquito net. :eek:

  7. #7
    ABW Ambassador mousejockey's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Switch off the 'puter make a cup of tea, turn the telly to The Bold and the Beautiful
    guaranteed you'll be asleep in 5 mins!
    Works for me everytime <IMG src=>

  8. #8
    Full Member
    Join Date
    January 17th, 2005
    I find reading archives of Professor's MLM ramblings (especially the long ones) seems to help achieve Naptopia. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

  9. #9
    ABW Founder Haiko de Poel, Jr.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    New York
    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by WorkerBee:
    I find reading archives of Professor's MLM ramblings (especially the long ones) seems to help achieve Naptopia. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    ROTFLMAO! <IMG src=> ... I prefer the lawsuit ones myself [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]


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