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  1. #1
    Affiliate Manager Matt McWilliams's Avatar
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    July 21st, 2006
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    Anger Management
    I think I saw this before but one of my partners forwarded this to me and said it reminded him of me

    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
    it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
    someone you don't know.

    I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to
    make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying"Hello."

    I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn
    Carter?"

    Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right freakin'
    number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that
    anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to
    call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two
    digits.

    After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
    When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an a$$&%#%!!" and
    hung up

    I wrote his number down with the word 'a$$&%#%!') next to it, and put it
    in my desk drawer.

    Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
    I'd call him up and yell, " You're an a$$&%#%!!" It always cheered me
    up.

    When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'a$$&%#%!'
    calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this
    is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm calling to see if you're
    familiar with our Caller ID Program?! "

    He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back
    and said, "That's because you're an a$$&%#%!!"

    One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot
    and some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
    patiently waited for.

    I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the
    idiot ignored me.

    I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his
    number.

    A couple of days later, right after calling the first a$$&%#%! (by this
    time I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the
    BMW a$$&%#%!, too.

    I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

    "Yes, it is", he said.

    "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.

    "Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It's a yellow house, and
    the car's parked right out in front."

    "What's your name?" I asked.

    "My name is Don Hansen," he said

    "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

    "I'm home every evening after five."

    "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

    "Yes?"
    ;
    "Don, you're an a$$&%#%!!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my
    speed dial, too.

    Now, when I had a problem, I had two a$$&%#%!s to call. Then I came up
    with an idea. I called a$$&%#%! #1. "Hello."

    "You're an a$$&%#%!!" (But I didn't hang up.)

    "Are you still there?" he asked.

    "Yeah," I said.

    "Stop calling me," he screamed.

    "Make me," I said.

    "Who are you?" he asked.

    "My name is Don Hansen."

    "Yeah? Where do you live?"

    "a$$&%#%!, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a yellow house, with my
    black Beamer parked in front."

    He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
    saying your prayers."

    I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a$$&%#%!," and hung up. Then I
    called a$$&%#%! #2.

    "Hello?" he said.

    "Hello, a$$&%#%!," I said! .

    He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

    "You'll what?" I said.

    "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

    I answered, "Well, a$$&%#%!, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
    now."

    Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at

    34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way home to kill my gay
    lover.

    Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Mowbray
    Blvd, Vaucluse. I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray.

    I got there just in time to watch two a$$&%#%!s beating the crap out of
    each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a
    news crew.

    NOW I feel much better.

    Anger management really works...
    Matt McWilliams
    Call Me At: (317) 825-8826 | Follow Me On Twitter: @MattMcWilliams2 | Connect With Me On LinkedIn

  2. #2
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Posts
    6,795
    Talking Well.............
    NOW I feel much better.
    Well.............


    I won't be too sure about that!


    Wanna know why?


    Well.............


    You made two big mistakes!


    Wanna know what two big mistakes you made?


    Well.............


    Remember this part?


    When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'a$&%#%!'
    calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this
    is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm calling to see if you're
    familiar with our Caller ID Program?

    Well.............


    When you then did this.......


    Then I hung up and immediately called the police, .......
    Then I called Channel 9 News ......

    You forgot that you had called your therapeutic 'a$$&%#% when Caller ID was introduced, to see if he was familiar with the Caller ID Program, because you was in fear that he might get your number.


    So now let's see if:


    Anger management really works...

    Right after the cops and the reporters show up at your house, now that they got that info from their Caller ID's at Channel 9, and at the police station tapes.



  3. #3
    notary sojac Herb ԿԬ's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    urban legend strikes again

  4. #4
    Affiliate Manager Alan Hamilton's Avatar
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    March 13th, 2006
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    Anger management
    Hey Matt, that's was great!!! By the way, what's your telephone number?

    Join the Spicy Aprons Affiliate program on ShareASale Visit us on Facebook www.facebook.com/spicyaprons Follow us on Twitter @Spicyaprons

  5. #5
    Affiliate Manager Matt McWilliams's Avatar
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    July 21st, 2006
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    I think its in my Sig...
    Matt McWilliams
    Call Me At: (317) 825-8826 | Follow Me On Twitter: @MattMcWilliams2 | Connect With Me On LinkedIn

  6. #6
    Network Rep & ABW Ambassador Carolyn - ShareASale's Avatar
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    September 6th, 2005
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    2,664
    well. that was fun. I just IM'd Matt and told him he was an a$$&%#%!, and his response was "What?"

    classic. I'll have to set an outlook reminder to make sure I do that on a weekly basis.

  7. #7
    Affiliate Manager Matt McWilliams's Avatar
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    Oh it's on now.

    That is a declaration of war in my book
    Matt McWilliams
    Call Me At: (317) 825-8826 | Follow Me On Twitter: @MattMcWilliams2 | Connect With Me On LinkedIn

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