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  1. #1
    Millionaire on training wheels Justdoit's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    792
    Dear Consumers:

    It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 2000 TEXAS EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the state of Texas. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands.

    The TEXAS EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 2000, with a background picture of Willie Nelson superimposed on the Alamo.

    Please also note:

    he Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
    My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
    Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
    Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
    Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
    Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"

    Instead of an error message, "Duct tape" pops up

    CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN TEXAS EDITION:
    Cancel............stopdat
    Reset..............try'er agin
    Yes..................yep
    No...................nope
    Find.................hunt fer it
    Go to...............over yonder
    Back................back yonder
    Help.................hep me out here
    Stop..................kwitit
    Start.................crank'er up
    Settings............settins
    Programs..........stuff at duz stuff
    Documents.......stuff ah done did

    Also note that theTEXAS EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.

    Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 2000:

    Tiperiter.....................a word processing program
    Colerin' Book.............a graphics program
    Cyferin' mersheen.....calculator
    Outhouse paper.........notepad
    Inner-net....................Microsoft Explorer 5.0
    Pitchers......................a graphics viewer

    We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the TEXAS EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

    I hope this helps all ya'll!

    Billy Bob Gates

  2. #2
    Member
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    January 18th, 2005
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    97
    Wow, I got that thar edishun ovur har in Kansas, wuts wrong wit it? Makes gud sense ta me.

  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador Andy's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    LOL! I think that same version has also been packaged as the OKLAHOMA EDITION! Those Texans are just city slicker cowboys, not the gen-u-wine thing.

    Everybody knows the REAL cowboys are in Oklahoma! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

    Andy

  4. #4
    pph Expert! Gordon's Avatar
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    I think some of the Lancashire guys got that edition as well, they find it easier to understand [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

  5. #5
    ABW Ambassador
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    I dont know anyone who talks like that...

    I thought the Texas edition was in Spanish [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

    Dave

  6. #6
    Content $ Queen Ebudae's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Something to offend almost everyone [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

    Possible State Mottos:

    Alabama: Yes, we have electricity
    Arizona: But It's a Dry Heat
    Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing
    California: As Seen on TV
    Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
    Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
    Delaware: We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water
    Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
    Georgia: We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism
    Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
    Idaho: Potatoes and NeoNazi's ... What More Could You Ask For?
    Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
    Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
    Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
    Kansas: Where Science Don't Mean Nothin'
    Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
    Louisiana: We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
    Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
    Maryland: A Thinking Man's Delaware
    Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
    Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians
    Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,001 Mosquitoes
    Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State
    Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work
    Montana: Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Very Little Else
    Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
    Nevada: A Dam and Poker!
    New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone
    New Jersey: You Want a ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
    New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
    New York: You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney...
    North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable
    North Dakota: We Really are One of the 50 States!
    Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan
    Oklahoma: Like the Play, only No Singing
    Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner
    Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
    Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island
    South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender
    South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
    Tennessee: The Educashun State
    Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I speak English)
    Utah: Salt Lake and Seagull poo
    Vermont: Yep
    Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
    Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!
    Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
    West Virginia: One Big Happy family really!
    Wisconsin: Come Cut Our Cheese
    Wyoming: Where men are men and sheep are tops

    Vicki [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

  7. #7
    Full Member
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    That's right, just keep thinking that way. Then one day, when you least expect it.....you'll be eatin' back bacon and ending every sentence with EH?.

  8. #8
    Defender of Truth, Justice and the Affiliate Way
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dhelle:
    I dont know anyone who talks like that...

    I thought the Texas edition was in Spanish [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

    Dave
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    I don't think that was the Texas edition, I think it was the La edition. I

    do know people who talk like that. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

  9. #9
    Super Sh!t Stirrer SSanf's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Oy veh, ya'll! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

  10. #10
    Full Member jarec2001's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Too funny!

    Dat don mak no nevemin da me...huh

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