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  1. #1
    Pimp Duck popdawg's Avatar
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    Little Upset ... Think I should be?
    Went to pick up the boy from Kindergarden.
    I'm there pretty much AT pickup time, no more than a couple of minutes past.
    To get to the pickup area (when cutting it close), I walk through the school, past the kindergarden classroom to get to the door to the rear playground where the teacher releases the students. It's early dismisal today due to parent teacher interviews.

    As I walk through the hall to the rear door, I glance at the classroom and see the teacher sitting down with one of the parents. The parent recognizes me and I can hear her mention to the teacher that I am there. I figure there is a TA or somebody at the door so she could get right to the students so I pick up the pace to pick up the boy. Halfway between the classroom and the door to the rear playground (about 30 or 40 feet) she comes up behind me and asks "Is daBoy out there by himself?" or something along that line. Now I trot the rest of the way without acknowledging her with more than a "whaaa?" because I am getting into "Where's my kid!?!" mode.

    I get outside to see the rest of the school is filing out for early recess because they get out early as well and I still can't find him. Walk around the whole playground area looking and can't see him. I look back at the door and the teacher is still standing there watching me.

    At this point the only thing preventing me from panicing is the fact I still have the entire playground on the other side of the school to check. As I start heading in that direction, I see one of the other teachers or TAs walking toward me and she mentions that his sister saw him walking around and is taking him to the office. I run back through the door and past the classroom (where I see the teacher now on the phone presumably with the office) and throw her a "His sister apparently took him to the office" as I run past.

    I get to the office, with the teacher right behind me and after I hug daBoy, and get daGirl (his sister) heading back outside towards her playground I see the teacher bend down and start asking him where he went and why he went. daBoy says "daddy was late" and she starts saying that he is supposed to stand beside her when no one is there to pick him up and wait until someone comes up. He's never to go off, blah de blah. (All good stuff, put the blah there because she just repeated the same stuff about three times). She does mention a sorry and a he went off, but super briefly.

    Now, while I agree that is what he is supposed to do, the fact is HE IS 5 FREAKING YEARS OLD. He walked away looking for me and there are only about a dozen or so parents/guardians that pick up kids in his class. Not a huge throng of people that it's easy to get lost in. Recess didnt start until I was walking in the hall (when the bell went) so there werent hundreds of kids out there either. Then instead of talking to me and addressing the issue and then talking it over with him, she right away turns it around on him for walking away to noone. After she did that I had to walk away or I was going to tear a strip off her in the hallway. I thought it best to not do that then ... unusual restraint for me ... but I gots to tell you I am choked.

    I'm not going into oversnap or anything, but I think I am justified in being pretty PO'd. How would you feel?
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  2. #2
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    You're justified, Popdawg. I'd have flipped huge, too. Unfortunately, I've alienated many a teacher and school staff in my day over stuff like this because I just had to flip out on the spot.

    And yeah ... my kids have learned to absolutely question authority ... - backfires on me all the time. LOL

    I admire your restraint, Popdawg.
    Peace,

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  3. #3
    affiliate emeritus missdonna's Avatar
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    I think this falls into the "stuff happens" category. It isn't possible to watch everyone every minute. Sure, you can be upset, but I wouldn't freak out over it.

    But it wasn't my kid so what do i know?
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  4. #4
    Pimp Duck popdawg's Avatar
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    See, I have a hard time with "stuff happens" when you talk about a teacher losing a 5 year old kid. (Anyones, not just mine ... i think ... yeah, anyones ) daGirl is in Grade three. I could take that with her because they are just starting to walk to the cars or meet their parents at the edges of the playgrounds or play while they wait for their parents. Even last year, in grade two, the teacher made sure every kid was matched up with every parent before they could go.

    Good to know Im not the only one that would go off though, thanks Rexanne

    Madawg wants me to go chat with the VP and the teacher, shes not going to be back until tonight sometime or she would do it. I think I will "mention it" to the VP when I get daGirl from school ... which reminds me, she gets out early today too.
    ================================================================
    Been away, now I'm back. Not as much, but I'm back & starting from scratch. Where I was, was fantastic. Where I am now, less so. Things have changed, become harder. So have I. Game ON!!!
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  5. #5
    OPM Queen Kristin Kinsey's Avatar
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    You can never be too careful when it comes to kids. Never.
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  6. #6
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristin Collier
    You can never be too careful when it comes to kids. Never.
    - When my kids get pissy about how neurotic I am when it comes to their safety and say: "Nothing's ever happened to us Moooooom!"

    I reply: "Exactly!"

    LOL - In the case of children, better safe than sorry holds huge weight.
    Peace,

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  7. #7
    ABW Ambassador kaizen's Avatar
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    I think this falls into the "stuff happens" category.
    Seems like a fluffy answer when talking about someone's child.

    If it had been my little one, (who incidently is 5 as well) I would have been extremely choked over this...... and those responsible may have been too.

  8. #8
    ABW Ambassador purplebear's Avatar
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    Think it's only natural when it's your child....you're gonna get upset. Something would be wrong if you didn't. My niece is a 3rd or 4th grade teacher and am gonna ask her how they usually handle these situations. Think a lot of schools in my area have an area for the kids to stay until somebody does actually come to pick them up. Pretty scarey thought of kids leaving on their own and just really happy you found him before he had gotten away. I know there have been a couple times on the news where kids have actually been found in school buses when nobody was aware they hadn't left.

  9. #9
    Outsourced Program Manager e-Gazer's Avatar
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    I'd be upset but yea, stuff does happen. Doesn't make it right and I'd be of the flip out type as well. Just cuz I have a hard time keeping a handle on things when it comes to my child's safety... you absolutely CANNOT be too careful.

    And far as I am concerned, for small children i..e in kindergarten, they should not allow ANY child out of the class until they have SEEN the parent or guardian come to get them.

    Heck, in our little guy's school they never used to even let him go with anyone who wasn't on their list of "approved" guardians for pickup, as sent by us at beginning of the year, or unless we called ahead to let them know someone else was coming.

    The teacher needs to make sure she has a system in place so she can ensure no child leaves her sight until she has approved them to go at that age. And approving them to go in my mind entails seeing the parent or guardian and saying "ok Timmy you can go now, there's your Daddy" or whatever.

    Yes, stuff happens so it's not grounds for firing her at this point - DaBoy is ok sounds like -but sounds like the teacher needs to review her system...and make SURE it never happens again.

  10. #10
    affiliate emeritus missdonna's Avatar
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    What I meant to say -- not that it was OK:

    Quote Originally Posted by e-Gazer
    I'd be upset but yea, stuff does happen. Doesn't make it right and I'd be of the flip out type as well. Just cuz I have a hard time keeping a handle on things when it comes to my child's safety... you absolutely CANNOT be too careful.

    And far as I am concerned, for small children i..e in kindergarten, they should not allow ANY child out of the class until they have SEEN the parent or guardian come to get them.

    Heck, in our little guy's school they never used to even let him go with anyone who wasn't on their list of "approved" guardians for pickup, as sent by us at beginning of the year, or unless we called ahead to let them know someone else was coming.

    The teacher needs to make sure she has a system in place so she can ensure no child leaves her sight until she has approved them to go at that age. And approving them to go in my mind entails seeing the parent or guardian and saying "ok Timmy you can go now, there's your Daddy" or whatever.

    Yes, stuff happens so it's not grounds for firing her at this point - DaBoy is ok sounds like -but sounds like the teacher needs to review her system...and make SURE it never happens again.
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  11. #11
    general fuq mrbshouse's Avatar
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    you should be real upset at my son's school if your not on the ok list you can't pick up the kid at all and the teachers pass the kids to the parents, but at what age should something like that switch....certainly not 5

  12. #12
    Pimp Duck popdawg's Avatar
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    So I just came back from getting the daGirl and neither the teacher or the VP were available. The office ladies were asking why I wanted to see them and when I mentioned the reason they were all understanding why I wanted to talk to them. They were curious why he had come in to the office through the front door. I know the school and in particular the younger classes have policies in place about letting kids go. daGirl has gone to this school since kindergarden as well.
    In talking to them I found out that during the parent teacher interview and after in fact, the teacher had a child in the class who's parent didn't show up. That parent didn't show up until 40 minutes after the class was over. So she could see that parent wasn't there, how could she miss daBoy not having a parent there? Especially me ... Im hard to miss. 5'11"...ish bowling ball with a blue and white giant umbrella. (Giant coat I received from a merchant as a bonus came in two sizes only ... tiny or really huge. I look like a bowling ball in it when the liner is in and I'm bundled up)
    Guess I'll go early tomorrow and have a chat with her.

    Looks like I am volunteering for the rest of the kindergarden field trips this year.
    ================================================================
    Been away, now I'm back. Not as much, but I'm back & starting from scratch. Where I was, was fantastic. Where I am now, less so. Things have changed, become harder. So have I. Game ON!!!
    ================================================================

  13. #13
    Troll Killer and best Snooper!
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    I'm not a parent but I used to take my neighbor's three kids to the beach and the zoo and they hung out at my house a lot. There's no greater honor than a parent who trusts you with their kids. But I have to say that every time I took them on an outing I was terrified the entire time. Somehow I managed not to break or lose any of them. : phew :

    If what happened to you had happened to me I don't think I would have handled it well at all. Nope, not at all well. And Pop, it's human nature that after we've had a bad scare like that we get so angry that it's a little scary. I'm sure the school administrators will appreciate hearing about your bad experience so they can make sure nothing like that ever happens again. And if they don't you just go over their heads.

  14. #14
    OPM and Moderator Chuck Hamrick's Avatar
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    Pop, you need to clear the air on this. If something happens down the line that you don't agree with it this needs to be established. Teachers have a tough position, I've dated a couple. On the other hand, they have policies too and you need to know if they were followed. May elementary teachers are young and new to teaching.

    We found out that our 1st grader was being isolated because he was interupting the other students. We went to the school counselor and raised the issue. She monitored the class and then set up a meeting with the teacher. When we walked into the 1st grade class there was our sons desk in the center of the classroom by itself. I thought my wife was going to go ballistic but instead she teared up. They gave us some smiley face/sad face system with candy treats, we turned it down and offered our own solution. We told them to start him with the other kids (they sit in groups) and move him away if he misbehaves. Then at the top of the hour he starts over. He has now gotten it resolved and it too 3 weeks. Sometimes you have to take the initiative and not rely on the institution. By the way, this is the best school system in the state!

  15. #15
    Advocate mellie's Avatar
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    I would definitely have a chat with the principal as well. Totally unacceptable for a teacher to lose a child and then to not know it. What if dagirl had not seen him? Great job on her part for knowing the right thing to do. I think it needs to be addressed with the teacher & principal to ensure it doesn't happen again. Teachers have a tough job but they are responsible for our children while school is open. A child should not be allowed to walk/wander off if that is what happened, and if the teacher wandered off leaving a child, they (teacher) should be reprimanded. No excuses.

    Around here grade 3 and under children must be picked up by a known & recognized and parent authorized (you submit a list at beginning of year) adult, otherwise child is not released. Teacher stands with them unitil picked up. There are over 1100 children in the school k-6.

    I hate when the kids have school trips, I am very nervous. My young ones are 7 & 9. Since they were 4 they memorized our home phone, my cell phone and know how to make collect calls. Very well versed in the art of screaming their heads off too.

    I am glad he was safe and okay but it is very scary.

  16. #16
    Moderator MichaelColey's Avatar
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    First, I would never be even slightly late again picking up the kids.

    Second, I would definitely address it with the principal and teacher. The principal should be equally concerned. If a teacher isn't properly keeping track of the kids she is responsible for and something bad happens, the school system could have a multi-million dollar lawsuit on their hands and some absolutely awful press. The rules are in place to protect everyone: children, teachers, and the school.
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  17. #17
    Super Sh!t Stirrer SSanf's Avatar
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    I am kind of in the "stuff happens" group. The schools do their best but children are unpredictable. The schools will get it right 999 times out of 1000 but there will always be some kid, who gives them the slip for a short period of time.

    One adult was watching over how many kids? They only have two eyes. For example, if two kids start a fight, fall and skin a knee, or have any of a myriad of other problems, the attention will be on them and others are free to wander. Unless we pay for one on one supervision, we can't get one on one supervision.

    The same thing could have happened if you had been watching him under certain circumstances. Do you know ANY parent of more than one who has never had a kid wander off at some point? Have you never looked around and said, "Where the heck is daBoy?" Yeah, stuff happens.
    Comments are opinion unless otherwise noted. Remember, pillage first. Then burn. Half of all people in the world have IQs under 100. You best learn to trust ol' SSanf!

  18. #18
    Moderator MichaelColey's Avatar
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    That's just the point. This wasn't a problem with a kid giving the teacher a slip orr the teacher just having two eyes. She was off in another room talking with another teacher or something.
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  19. #19
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    I'd be very upset myself. Being a relatively new father I'm just beginning to understand the amount of love and also concern that comes with being a father. It is the teachers responsibility to keep an eye on your son or any other student until they are with their parent.

    The reason situtations like this bother me so much, more now than ever is all the stuff I hear about on the news about schools and myspace.com. I don't know if this happens around where you all come from but here, you hear on the news all the time about how another student is getting suspended or expelled or something way over the line because a teacher or other facility member seen something inappriopriate after school hours on myspace.com. Give me a break. Majority of the time, teachers and other members on a school's staff can't handle their student population during school hours, it is absolulty none of their business what any child does on their own computer on their own time.

    Situations likes yours is proof. Teachers need to be more concerned with their students during school hours and less concerned with their students after they are home with their parents. If teachers spent as much effort watching their students, keeping drugs out of the schools, and violence out of the schools as they do beign concerned with what that student does in their own personal time, our public education system wouldn't be in the mess it is in today.

    In other words, I do believe you have a right to be pretty PO'ed and if I were in your situtation, I probably wouldn't have been able to bite my tounge while in the school that afternoon.

  20. #20
    CPA Network Rep JessicaD's Avatar
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    I agree that this needs to be addressed. As a teacher, you need to keep an eye on students, especially when they are young. Ideally no one would ever be late to pick up their kids - but life happens. I remember when I worked at a day-camp, parents were frequently late. While it is inconvenient, watching children when their parents haven't arrived to pick them up, is part of the job and should take first priority.

    Keep us posted on the outcome!

  21. #21
    ABW Ambassador Sheri's Avatar
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    I agree that you should be upset and that it should be addressed. I comend you for not doing it right there when you were very upset and your child was there. Teachers have one of the most difficult and important jobs in the world in my opinion (no I am not a teacher).

    I think you should work with the teacher to make sure that systems are put in place as a team. Yelling at the teacher in front of your child just teaches them that they can disrespect the teacher as well.

    I think too many times parents are quick to blame teachers for their child's behavior. If you work with them as a team on your child's behalf, everyone wins. Most importantly, your child.

    Good job at keeping your cool, but it definitely sounds like you need to address the issue. Both for your child's safety and your sanity.

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  22. #22
    Pimp Duck popdawg's Avatar
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    *update*

    So I was later than I thought.
    It seems that two notices were sent home by the school.
    The first which we have, gave the early dismissal time as 10:30.
    The second which we don't have (and we have looked), gave a corrected dismissal time as 10:15.
    So daBoy wandered around for more than 15 minutes by himself.
    The office admins and people I talked to there never said a time, so when I said a couple of minutes they assumed the 10:15 time while I assumed they knew I meant the 10:30 time.

    1) Never assume. I know better, too.
    2) We are going to talk to the teacher and vp after class today.
    3) I need a link for an rfid tag affiliate program.

    edited:
    *side note ... I thought I was mad. Madawg is going off since we found out about the amount of time he wandered by himself.*
    ================================================================
    Been away, now I'm back. Not as much, but I'm back & starting from scratch. Where I was, was fantastic. Where I am now, less so. Things have changed, become harder. So have I. Game ON!!!
    ================================================================

  23. #23
    Resident Genius and Staunch Capitalist Leader's Avatar
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    I glance at the classroom and see the teacher sitting down with one of the parents.
    In this particular scenario, I can see getting upset. The teacher wasn't distracted by surprise, but made a negligent decision to start doing the conferences without arranging alternate supervision for him. NO FREAKIN' WAY is a sane, normal 5 year old going to wait patiently for such a boring and indefinite thing as a parent-teacher conference!!! The teacher should have known that and gotten some other adult to watch him (in my school, we usually waited in the office for parents when the teacher couldn't do a good job of watching).

    But in other situations I wouldn't be too upset, but that's because I remember being the kid who absolutely *delighted* in exploiting every opportunity to get out from under supervision/surveillance. It was a fun game! And despite efforts to dissuade me from it, and increasingly KGB-like watching efforts, it stayed very fun for most of the year and I did it a lot.

    I caused much worry to my mother and the school in kindergarten

    But--The tricks of that type that I learned in grade school ended up getting me out of some jams later on, so it did have its benefits, too. I avoided some BIG trouble with what was looking to be a seriously Bad Person (a guy was following me around with a car in an empty park...the situation looked really nasty!) when I was about 13, by knowing how to take full advantage of his distraction and disappear in that split second (he had to occasionally look away, or else hit trees)...I credit all the practice I got in the "safe" school situations like DaBoy was in, for making how to hide be an effective, second-nature kind of knowledge. It was a simple matter to transfer it to the natural setting and *poof* Gone. If I hadn't gone ahead and ignored those in-school admonitions, I doubt I would have been able to get out of that truly bad situation later on.

    In other words it can be good when the teachers aren't quite perfect at the supervising. Just as long as he doesn't get too far away.

    The only thing that really worries me in what you wrote is that in the time a conference takes, a kid *can* get himself too far, and possibly into a jam. When I was in kindergarten, my best attempts only worked well enough to get into the next hall a bit.

    Edited to add:

    I need a link for an rfid tag affiliate program.
    Those evil things probably wouldn't be able to pinpoint the location any closer than the school grounds anyway.

  24. #24
    Pimp Duck popdawg's Avatar
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    The teacher wasn't distracted by surprise, but made a negligent decision to start doing the conferences without arranging alternate supervision for him.
    That's just it Leader, she wasn't aware he was by himself in the playground. She did make the correct decision for the boy she knew had no one to pick him up, but for my boy she let him go, didn't ask him to wait, didn't ask if he saw me and didn't check for me herself. The other boy she kept in class with her for 40 minutes. She ALWAYS lets them out single file and checks for a parent/guardian and acknowledges them while she does it.
    So what happened?
    ================================================================
    Been away, now I'm back. Not as much, but I'm back & starting from scratch. Where I was, was fantastic. Where I am now, less so. Things have changed, become harder. So have I. Game ON!!!
    ================================================================

  25. #25
    Affiliate/AM Moonlighter dflsports's Avatar
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    I'm a little confused here. The school lets parents just come on in? No stops to sign in and out your child? Children are not kept in a classroom under supervison until their parents or bus arrives to pick them up? It would seem that out of habit a teacher would have all kids stay in the classroom til it was time to leave with a parent or get on a bus.

    I guess I'm just comparing this to the way our school works. If I want to pick my kid up, I have sign a sheet and wait in the cafeteria til they call him to come and meet me. No matter if I pick him up every day or just once in a while. Kids are kept in the classroom at the end of the day til the bus arrives or they are picked up. It seems like a hassle but it's nice to know that my kids is always under the watchful eye of the teacher or TA. Plus only one way in and out during dismissal and an adult (school emplpyee) is always at that main door, no kids leave without a parent.

    Maybe it's time to raise a little heck for some policy changes

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