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  1. #1
    Online Marketing Consultant
    Join Date
    October 16th, 2006
    Washington D.C.
    Your Sign
    One of the Marketing Managers just sent this to me.

    NUMBER ONE IDIOT of 2006

    I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter
    into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation, happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

    Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

    NUMBER TWO IDIOT of 2006

    Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747's. They were
    successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out
    that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
    employed at Boeing.

    Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
    A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote, "this iz a stikkup. Put all yur muny
    in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he
    reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors, that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would
    either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

    Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.


    A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail, a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time, of
    handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

    Smartbutt. But you still get a sign.

    A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
    refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give
    it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The
    robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

    This guy definitely needs a sign.

    IDIOT NUMBER SIX of 2006
    A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously wavingrevolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!"
    When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

    This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.

    Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor
    store window, grab some booze, and run. So, he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems
    the liquor store window was made of plexi-glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

    Yep here's your sign.

  2. #2
    Affiliate Manager MINDsprinter's Avatar
    Join Date
    August 18th, 2006
    Washington, DC
    Hmm...a sign may be too good for these guys. What about castration? Take em out of the gene pool.

    By the way, the voting for the 2007 darwin awards is up...
    Jason Rosenbaum
    Affiliate Manager

  3. #3
    Online Marketing Consultant
    Join Date
    October 16th, 2006
    Washington D.C.
    My cousin in florida got an honorable mention in a darwin award one time. He is a very distant cousin. He kept his dynamite and fireworks next to candles and during a power out he lit a stick of dynamite or a firework or something and messed up his entire arm and I think blew off his hand. I have never met him though. I am soo proud to be related *hangs head in shame*

  4. #4
    Affiliate Manager Allen Nance's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Colorado River, Bullhead City AZ

    ROFL, thanks for passing that around. Best chuckle so far this year!

  5. #5
    Online Marketing Consultant
    Join Date
    October 16th, 2006
    Washington D.C.
    Thanks, the scary thing is he is not the only one who has stories like that in my family, I have a blog with the other stories which I keep hidden out of pure embarrasement. LOL

  6. #6
    Join Date
    January 3rd, 2007
    Thanks for the good laugh.

  7. #7
    Full Member Crocket's Avatar
    Join Date
    September 11th, 2006
    LOL these were great
    [URL=]Rowdy Jack Russell Terrier[/URL]

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