Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 31
  1. #1
    Moderator BurgerBoy's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    jacked by sylon www.sylonddos.weebly.com
    Posts
    9,618
    Talking The Schitt Family History Finally Revealed
    Most people are at a loss for a response when someone says - "You don't know Jack Schitt."

    Read on and you'll be able to handle the situation intelligently.

    Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt, Inc.

    Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple begat 6 Children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins - Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

    Against her parent's wishes, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

    After 15 years of marriage, Jack & Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married a Mr. Sherlock, and out of devotion to her children, decided to hyhenate her last name, and became Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

    Dip Schitt married a woman named Loda Dung, who became Loda Schitt. The couple produced a nervous son named Chicken Schitt.

    Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, inseperable throughout childhood, subsequently married the Happens brothers. The local newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding, which was quite an event. The Schitt-Happens children were: Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.

    Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He returned from his travels with his Italian bride - Piza Schitt.

    So, now if someone says "you don't know Jack Schitt"' you can beg to differ. You not only know Jack Schitt, but everyone on the Schitt family list.
    Last edited by BurgerBoy; August 3rd, 2011 at 06:06 AM.

    Vietnam Veteran 1966-1970 USASA
    ABW Forum Rules - Advertise At ABW

  2. #2
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    12,360
    LOL - that's gooooood
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  3. #3
    Full Member Crocket's Avatar
    Join Date
    September 11th, 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    420
    lol that was some great schitt
    [URL=http://www.cafepress.com/rowdyjrt]Rowdy Jack Russell Terrier[/URL]

  4. #4
    Affiliate Manager Matt McWilliams's Avatar
    Join Date
    July 21st, 2006
    Location
    Fort Wayne, IN
    Posts
    2,838
    What about the pet Horse Schitt?
    Matt McWilliams
    Call Me At: (317) 825-8826 | Follow Me On Twitter: @MattMcWilliams2 | Connect With Me On LinkedIn

  5. #5
    Affiliate Manager Allen Nance's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Colorado River, Bullhead City AZ
    Posts
    1,604
    I am sure glad the Poopie Nubert family doesn't have relatives like that. We are sophisticated ones of the Von Crap family. (On my mothers side)

    Sheesh!

    Poopster

  6. #6
    Full Member Crocket's Avatar
    Join Date
    September 11th, 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    420
    Quote Originally Posted by MattMcWilliams
    What about the pet Horse Schitt?
    He lives in the stable out by the Schitt House when his owner isn't riding him down to the Schitt Factory
    [URL=http://www.cafepress.com/rowdyjrt]Rowdy Jack Russell Terrier[/URL]

  7. #7
    Affiliate Manager Matt McWilliams's Avatar
    Join Date
    July 21st, 2006
    Location
    Fort Wayne, IN
    Posts
    2,838
    Quote Originally Posted by Crocket
    He lives in the stable out by the Schitt House when his owner isn't riding him down to the Schitt Factory
    WOW! Good ones.

    Wonder if anyone will end up marrying into the Head family?

    I would sure like see what happens with the Schitt family and Engiggle family get together.
    Matt McWilliams
    Call Me At: (317) 825-8826 | Follow Me On Twitter: @MattMcWilliams2 | Connect With Me On LinkedIn

  8. #8
    Full Member Crocket's Avatar
    Join Date
    September 11th, 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    420
    Quote Originally Posted by MattMcWilliams
    WOW! Good ones.


    I would sure like see what happens with the Schitt family and Engiggle family get together.
    Another interesting one to keep tabs on will be the Schitt and FallbackEnit wedding next month.
    [URL=http://www.cafepress.com/rowdyjrt]Rowdy Jack Russell Terrier[/URL]

  9. #9
    Affiliate Manager Alan Hamilton's Avatar
    Join Date
    March 13th, 2006
    Location
    Colorado / Florida
    Posts
    4,411
    So that's the Schitts?

    Interesting history. I've wondered for many years about the family roots but haven't had time to research it. So this is a "big load" off off my mind.

    I did note that the one "black sheep" in the Schitts family who was actually a bit perverted (he was credited with the creation of the Schittsu) was not mentioned. Better to leave that one alone lest we "soil" the family legacy.

    It also failed to mention that they were decendents of royalty. Jack Schitt was actually the great great great grandson of King Schitt. KIng Schitt was the biggest Schitt of all according to records preserved by his subjects. Seems the peasants always feared when a new Schitt was born, but they came to accept that Schitt happens.

    They also have a decendant here in Colorado who was a place kicker at a high school out on the eastern plains, and he also worked a cattle ranch. He eventually invented the boots named after the family (Schitt Kickers) The football team tried on many occasions to trade him, but none of the other teams would take Schitt, so eventually they cut the Schitt.

    I just wanted to point these other items out to "firm up" the Schitt legacy. But it is certainly a rich legacy and I'm glad that BB shared it with us. Now I feel like I finally know my Schitt history.
    Join the Spicy Aprons Affiliate program on ShareASale Visit us on Facebook www.facebook.com/spicyaprons Follow us on Twitter @Spicyaprons

  10. #10
    Online Marketing Consultant
    Join Date
    October 16th, 2006
    Location
    Washington D.C.
    Posts
    2,195
    That is tooo funny

  11. #11
    Affiliate Manager Alan Hamilton's Avatar
    Join Date
    March 13th, 2006
    Location
    Colorado / Florida
    Posts
    4,411
    Some of them even rented themselves out for special occasions. I recall one of the slogans for a Valentines day ad:

    "This year - do something meaningful to let that special person know you really care...... Give a Schitt"
    Join the Spicy Aprons Affiliate program on ShareASale Visit us on Facebook www.facebook.com/spicyaprons Follow us on Twitter @Spicyaprons

  12. #12
    Full Member Crocket's Avatar
    Join Date
    September 11th, 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    420
    Poor BB, we have attacked your thead and can't seem to stop lol

    Ok, I think I'll go take a Schitt, Shave and Shower now lol
    [URL=http://www.cafepress.com/rowdyjrt]Rowdy Jack Russell Terrier[/URL]

  13. #13
    ABW Ambassador Greg Rice's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    4,889
    The Schitt family is better known than we realize. The grandson of Jack, Taka Schitt, played in the minor leagues here until he got into a major fight with a heckling fan. His career here was over after the newspaper's headline was published:

    "Schitt Hit the Fan in 7th Inning
    First baseman, Taka Schitt, had all he could take from a heckling fan shouting "No Schitt, No Schitt, No Schitt" when he ran over and started a fight with the unhappy fan. The coach, Onlee Faarted, went to Taka Schitt but was disappointed when he didn't get the results he was hoping for. The umpire stopped the game while the whole team went to Taka Schitt in the dugout to see if they could get a better response than Onlee Faarted.

    The umpire ejected Schitt from the game while many unhappy fans chanted "We want Schitt! We want Schitt!". The team manager demanded Schitt be dropped from the team. In reply, coach Faarted would only say "Here I sit broken hearted, went to Schitt and...well, you know how that turned out." The team's management was so disappointed with Taka Schitt that they now put soon-to-be-dropped players on the "Schitt List".
    Greg Rice Affiliate Program Management
    www.gocmc.com info(AT)gocmc.com | 330-259-1223

    Join us! - MiNeeds.com | DiscountCandleShop/CheeseSupply | Feng Shui Plaza

  14. #14
    Newbie
    Join Date
    January 3rd, 2007
    Posts
    8
    OMG! That's sooo good.

  15. #15
    Beachy Bill's Avatar
    Join Date
    November 20th, 2005
    Posts
    8,266
    Hmmm...didn't mention a thing about the Schitt homestead or the stream that ran across the property.The one often used for canoe races and frequently referred to as Schitt's Crick.
    Bill / Marketing Blog @ 12PM - Current project: Resurrecting my "baby" at South Baltimore..
    Cute Personal Checks and Business Checks
    If you are too busy to laugh you are too busy.

  16. #16
    Newbie refinish69's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 1st, 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    41
    Rotflmao!!!!

  17. #17
    Full Member Crocket's Avatar
    Join Date
    September 11th, 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    420
    Quote Originally Posted by Beachy
    Hmmm...didn't mention a thing about the Schitt homestead or the stream that ran across the property.The one often used for canoe races and frequently referred to as Schitt's Crick.
    I have been up Schitt Creek without a paddle MANY times
    [URL=http://www.cafepress.com/rowdyjrt]Rowdy Jack Russell Terrier[/URL]

  18. #18
    ABW Ambassador Greg Rice's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    4,889
    Quote Originally Posted by Beachy
    Hmmm...didn't mention a thing about the Schitt homestead or the stream that ran across the property.The one often used for canoe races and frequently referred to as Schitt's Crick.
    LOL, I must be slipping. How could I have missed that opportuntiy??
    Greg Rice Affiliate Program Management
    www.gocmc.com info(AT)gocmc.com | 330-259-1223

    Join us! - MiNeeds.com | DiscountCandleShop/CheeseSupply | Feng Shui Plaza

  19. #19
    Full Member
    Join Date
    March 10th, 2006
    Posts
    466
    Quote Originally Posted by Crocket
    I have been up Schitt Creek without a paddle MANY times
    In Schitt Creek Bring Your Own Paddle

  20. #20
    Affiliate Manager Alan Hamilton's Avatar
    Join Date
    March 13th, 2006
    Location
    Colorado / Florida
    Posts
    4,411
    They were also accomplished thesbians who were often imitated by aspiring actors, many of whom were often accused of acting like a Schitt.

    But perhaps the most noteworthy accomplishment credited to the Schitt family was a deductive economics forcasting process compiled by professor Hardy Schitt. His progressive economics theory guided many companies for years in the fomulation of manufacturing and sales projections. Often times at the end of a board meeting, fellow board members could be heard commenting on the Schitt forecast for the next quarter.

    Geez gang - are we whipping a dead horse here?
    Oh heck, let's keep it going..... Just for Schitts
    Join the Spicy Aprons Affiliate program on ShareASale Visit us on Facebook www.facebook.com/spicyaprons Follow us on Twitter @Spicyaprons

  21. #21
    Full Member Crocket's Avatar
    Join Date
    September 11th, 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    420
    Quote Originally Posted by ALH - AmeritrustRx
    Geez gang - are we whipping a dead horse here?
    Oh heck, let's keep it going..... Just for Schitts
    Right now I feel like Dog Schitt so it will have to wait lol
    [URL=http://www.cafepress.com/rowdyjrt]Rowdy Jack Russell Terrier[/URL]

  22. #22
    Merchant & ABW Ambassador
    Join Date
    May 31st, 2006
    Location
    Houston TX
    Posts
    4,731
    OK. Enought of the Schitt.
    It's cracking me up

  23. #23
    ABW Ambassador Greg Rice's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    4,889
    Quote Originally Posted by FairFieldGetaway-EricEwe
    OK. Enought of the Schitt.
    It's cracking me up
    What's the matter Eric? You full of Schitt already?
    Greg Rice Affiliate Program Management
    www.gocmc.com info(AT)gocmc.com | 330-259-1223

    Join us! - MiNeeds.com | DiscountCandleShop/CheeseSupply | Feng Shui Plaza

  24. #24
    Comfortably Numb John Powell's Avatar
    Join Date
    October 17th, 2005
    Location
    Bayou Country, LA
    Posts
    3,432
    Now this is my kind of humor. Busta Gut!

  25. #25
    Full Member Crocket's Avatar
    Join Date
    September 11th, 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    420
    hmm I had an email notification of a new reply but all I see is the same old Schitt!
    [URL=http://www.cafepress.com/rowdyjrt]Rowdy Jack Russell Terrier[/URL]

+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Schitt Family History Finally Revealed
    By BurgerBoy in forum Virtual Family and Off-Topic
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: May 13th, 2008, 08:25 AM
  2. conversion rates revealed??
    By joeleighton in forum Midnight Cafe'
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: October 18th, 2007, 08:08 PM
  3. 'PR' Secret Revealed
    By GravityFed in forum Virtual Family and Off-Topic
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: February 22nd, 2006, 04:36 PM
  4. AdSense Revealed (Percentage that is)
    By Sam Bay in forum Midnight Cafe'
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: February 3rd, 2005, 12:59 PM
  5. MADDOG revealed!!
    By 807 in forum Virtual Family and Off-Topic
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: March 11th, 2002, 01:12 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •