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  1. #1
    ABW Ambassador PatrickAllmond's Avatar
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    Steven Wright Quotes
    Man I love these. And this is just how I think.

    http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Steven_Wright
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  2. #2
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
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    The one of his that I liked the most was, "If I am driving my car at the speed of light, and I turn the headlights on.....does anything happen?"
    Following everyone else is a GREAT way to become average.

  3. #3
    Troll Killer and best Snooper!
    I decide when the pigs fly!
    Rhea's Avatar
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    Stephen Wright is the humor spokesperson for all of us who are so literal minded that we are occasionally mistaken for idiots. I adore him.

    Speaking of red shifts, this is one of my favorite designs at Cafe Press. (No, it's not my design, doggoneit.)

    http://www.cafepress.com/phyzard.15018954

  4. #4
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    "I recently got a new camera. It's really new, I mean Really new.. you don't even need it."

    LOL
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic


  5. #5
    ABW Ambassador Sheri's Avatar
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    My favorite Wright saying (that I actually use) is:

    The other day I...... no wait, that wasn't me.

  6. #6
    ABW Ambassador JudiMoore's Avatar
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    I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe
    I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done, so now I just have to fill in the rest.
    I love Steven Wright.

  7. #7
    general fuq mrbshouse's Avatar
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    "Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?"

    love his style

  8. #8
    Analytics Dude Kevin's Avatar
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    Not sure if this one was in there, since I didn't have time to read them all....

    "I wonder if in Canada they call Miles Davis, Kilometers Davis."

    He did that one on Letterman. Was introduced, walked out, said that, and went home
    Kevin Webster
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    Kayak Fishing
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  9. #9
    http and a telephoto
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sheri
    My favorite Wright saying (that I actually use) is:

    The other day I...... no wait, that wasn't me.
    lolol, I need to use this one, whether it *was* me or not....
    Deborah Carney
    TeamLoxly.com BookGoodies.com ABCsPlus.com

  10. #10
    Moderator MichaelColey's Avatar
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    "The other day I...... no wait, that wasn't me."

    My best friend used that line on me about 10-15 years ago. Now I know where he got it.

    Awesome stuff!
    Michael Coley
    Amazing-Bargains.com
     Affiliate Tips | Merchant Best Practices | Affiliate Friendly? | Couponing | CPA Networks? | ABW Tips | Activating Affiliates
    "Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world." Nelson Mandela

  11. #11
    Internet Cowboy
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    Big fan. Some of my favs are
    "I live on a one-way dead end street"
    "I bought some batteries the other day, but they weren't included"
    "I want a full body tatoo of myself, but taller."
    "The other day I was walking down the street and saw a one-inch man. I asked, "Are you really one inch tall?" He said, "No, I am just very far away."

    Love it!

  12. #12
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    This quote can be related to affiliate marketing.

    "The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
    The early bird could be the super affiliates. (They do PPC and get listed first.)
    The second mouse could be the parasites. (They just eat the cheese.)

  13. #13
    ABW Ambassador danay's Avatar
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    I loooooove Steven Wright. Loved him as "the man on the couch" in half baked too.

    My 2 favorites...

    I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road; I don't know how I got there, but I can't leave.

    Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

    Thanks for the link. Still chuckling.
    Danay @ LunaSolMedia.com
    Global Perfomance Marketing. Global Niche Markets = Opportunity!
    HispanicYa!|MallFreebies

    I dwell in possibility. ~Emily Dickinson

  14. #14
    Member
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    My favorite from him:

    "I put instant coffee in the microwave and I went back in time."

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