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  1. #1
    Full Member southbeachannie's Avatar
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    Happily Single by Karen Salmansohn
    If you're single this Valentines Day, you are not alone.

    Singlehood rates are going up, marriage rates going down.

    But one thing that remains forever the same: folks who do choose to remain single seem to get constantly bombarded with the same three questions:

    1. WHY aren't you married?
    2. Why aren't YOU married?
    (and the very, very popular...)
    3. Why AREN'T you married?
    (... give or take another 999,999,997 more such questions!)

    Unfortunately, I can’t fix you up with any cute guys or girls to help you avoid these questions in the future. However, I can fix you up with some good snappy comebacks to fling at anyone who dares to question your single status.

    So, next time somebody dares to ask you that “Why aren't you married?” question, pause, smile sagaciously (I love that word; it means “wisely”), and offer up one of the following. Or, just review them for your own personal satisfaction.

    1. In the beginning, there were no elliptical trainers or low-fat/high-fiber muffins, and so people lived to only about 40-something. Maximum. Meaning, the pressure was on to get married before age 25. However, today, thanks to medical advances, we can all hope to live to 80. Easy. Meaning? Even if we marry at age 40, that's still 35, 45, even 55 years to be with a mate. Plenty of time to be married. What's the hurry?

    2. Married people are not necessarily better catches simply because they were caught. I mean, have you taken a look at some of the married people out there? Seriously. Even Frankenstein got married. Obviously married people are not superior people.

    3. Meanwhile, look at some of our cool single role models: Catwoman: Single. Buddha: Single. The Lone Ranger: Single. Actually, virtually all superhero types are single: Superman, Wonder Woman, Dudley Do-Right. And then there’s The Ultimate Superhero: God also single.

    4. Plus, when you think about it, there’s no such thing as a Stepford Single Woman.

    5. Why limit myself to being dissatisfied by one relationship when I can be dissatisfied by an infinite variety?

    6. It’s interesting how our culture has the expression “happily married,” but no expression “happily single.” And those words are 100% certified by the US Census Bureau. Statistics show that although married men are reported to be happier than single men (surprise, surprise!) single women are reported to be happier than married women (also a big surprise, surprise!). Meaning? This only furthers the irony that single women are branded as "unhappy” and “lonely” and “loser-esque" when single women are just boldly holding out for the right situation, rather than getting married just to get married.

    7. It's easy to become married. Millions of people do it every year. If you want to pressure me to become something, hey, why not pick something a little more challenging like an astrophysicist.

    8. True love is rare. That's why it's called "love" and not "really like" or "settling." And why we don't say: "I’m settling for you, honey" over candlelit dinners. True love is worth waiting for and that’s what I’m doing.
    [FONT=Century Gothic][FONT=Book Antiqua]southbeachannie
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  2. #2
    Network Rep & ABW Ambassador Carolyn - ShareASale's Avatar
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    My dad just called...I have a Valentine this year. (Mom's gonna be pissed!!)

  3. #3
    Full Member southbeachannie's Avatar
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    For more of this author's site is notsalmon DOT com, if you want more funny insights. I saw Karen at a local bookstore in Miami and subscribe to her Happiness Dammit newsletter. She's a trip!!
    [FONT=Century Gothic][FONT=Book Antiqua]southbeachannie
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  4. #4
    Affiliate Manager Alan Hamilton's Avatar
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    CT - Awww, good ol dad. But hey, you are in the hearts of many here - so happy valentines day!!
    Join the Spicy Aprons Affiliate program on ShareASale Visit us on Facebook www.facebook.com/spicyaprons Follow us on Twitter @Spicyaprons

  5. #5
    ABW Ambassador Paul_Ward's Avatar
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    Clicks on avatar - aww.. they're knees, it's not what I thought...

  6. #6
    http and a telephoto
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    My Valentine is 7, and he's his mom's Valentine too... hey, she has 2 (she's happily married) that's not fair! lol...

    btw... I am in the Happily Single by choice group Go Annie... nice find
    Deborah Carney
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  7. #7
    Classic Rocker Mack's Avatar
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    I'm very happily divorced, thank you very much. I plan on staying that way forever.

  8. #8
    Lite On The Do, Heavy On The Nuts Donuts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by southbeachannie
    5. Why limit myself to being dissatisfied by one relationship when I can be dissatisfied by an infinite variety?
    That one made me laugh out loud.

  9. #9
    Full Member southbeachannie's Avatar
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    I think the whole thing is hysterical! But then, marriage is hysterical! Why put so much expectation on one relationship? We all deserve at least three:

    • A person to build a home/family
    • A best friend/confidant
    • A fabulous lover

    Why should anyone be expected to be all three? That’s a lot of work!

    Anyway, for any lonely hearts out there, I have a recipe to attract true love:

    • Write a list of all the qualities you really want in a mate (Personality, looks, wealth & generosity)
    • Then become everything on your list.
    • You will then have hordes of mates to choose from!

    I haven’t done any of that, since I’m having too much fun being clueless!

    Happy Love Day!

    Annie (Alone in dreadful Tampa)
    [FONT=Century Gothic][FONT=Book Antiqua]southbeachannie
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  10. #10
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    1. In the beginning, there were no elliptical trainers or low-fat/high-fiber muffins, and so people lived to only about 40-something. Maximum. Meaning, the pressure was on to get married before age 25. However, today, thanks to medical advances, we can all hope to live to 80. Easy. Meaning? Even if we marry at age 40, that's still 35, 45, even 55 years to be with a mate. Plenty of time to be married. What's the hurry?


    2. Married people are not necessarily better catches simply because they were caught. I mean, have you taken a look at some of the married people out there? Seriously. Even Frankenstein got married. Obviously married people are not superior people.
    ............................






    Clicks on avatar - aww.. they're knees, it's not what I thought...
    - -

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  11. #11
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    Almost makes the grass turn a pale shade of green... very pale though....

    For the grass is forever green whenever I picture my wife holding my daughters.

    I can't even begin to imagine a day being single for it would mean missing all that I have... the constant companionship and the loves of my life .. my daughters and my wife.. the dreams that we share.

    However, if I was ever to end up in a situation like that....

    I guess there are positives in just about everything.. and that's good to know.

  12. #12
    Full Member southbeachannie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kcollier63
    For the grass is forever green whenever I picture my wife holding my daughters.

    I can't even begin to imagine a day being single for it would mean missing all that I have... the constant companionship and the loves of my life .. my daughters and my wife.. the dreams that we share.

    You got the point without the merriment! This article is about holding out until you grab the brass ring. Sounds like you did!!

    If I had what you have, I'd be happily married still or remarried in the right situation.

    Much happiness to you!
    Annie
    [FONT=Century Gothic][FONT=Book Antiqua]southbeachannie
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