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  1. #1
    Canadienne extraordinaire Susan's Avatar
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    August 11th, 2005
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    Guelph, Ontario
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    Red face Red, Red Wine...
    Red, red wine....
    Received this in an email from one of my oldest and dearest girlfriends. Of course, there IS a reason why it was sent through to me...

    When girls drink too much............

    1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is.

    2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our butt while yelling "woo-hoo!" is truly the sexiest dance move around.

    3. We've suddenly decided that we want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe we could do it, too.

    4. In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess we were just four hours ago.

    5. We start crying and telling everyone we see that we love them sooooo much.

    6. We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song play's because "oh my God! I love this song!"

    7. We've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to us.

    8. We've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.

    9. We yell at the bartender, who we believe cheated us by giving us just lemonade, but that's just because we can no longer taste the gin.

    10. We think we are in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor (or the mop?)

    11. We fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when we sit on it.

    12. We take our shoes off because we believe it's their fault we're having problems walking straight.

    Alright, let's all be honest...I've checked off number, 4, 5, 6, 8, 11...I'd never yell at a bartender (he's a woman's best friend!) and usually, my shoes are off wayyyy before I start walking crooked ;-)
    Susan Arts
    Senior Vice President, Marketing
    Moxy Media

  2. #2
    Affiliate Manager BeachBDM's Avatar
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    December 29th, 2006
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    Not only are the reasons 1-12 why I don't drink anymore, but i am sure my friends could give you 100 more! Funny how this applies to all women. (or should I just be speaking for myself? )
    Sandra Martin
    sandeebottom at hotmail.com

  3. #3
    Affiliate Network Rep Danny K's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Zimmerman, MN. USA
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    741
    copy > paste > forward. Thank you very much.

    Hilarious!!! This might even be fun to print and take to the bar :-)
    Danny K. - Network Administrator, Digital River- oneNetworkDirect.com, Email: dkautt@digitalriver.com

  4. #4
    Affiliate Manager Alan Hamilton's Avatar
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    March 13th, 2006
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    12. We get much better looking and wonder why the cute guy next to us isn't interested. Hasn't he ever seen lipstick applied above the top lip and smeared on the bottom of a nose?!!

    Exit - stage left!!

    Alan Hamilton, WOO - Hoo
    Join the Spicy Aprons Affiliate program on ShareASale Visit us on Facebook www.facebook.com/spicyaprons Follow us on Twitter @Spicyaprons

  5. #5
    Newbie TooLegitToQuit's Avatar
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    November 16th, 2006
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    This list is dejavu from my last date! Blind dates are the worst and I just had to drink in order to cope with the man. I would have to check off 1 through 12!

  6. #6
    ABW Ambassador
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    January 18th, 2005
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    "2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our butt while yelling "woo-hoo!" is truly the sexiest dance move around."

    But that one is true.

  7. #7
    Troll Killer and best Snooper!
    I decide when the pigs fly!
    Rhea's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Damn! Good thing I only drink vodka and beer. I feel sorry for you wine drinkers. Youse guys is a mess!

  8. #8
    http and a telephoto
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhea
    Damn! Good thing I only drink vodka and beer. I feel sorry for you wine drinkers. Youse guys is a mess!
    lol, I'm with Rhea!!!! Only no beer, just vodka Or nothing at all...
    Deborah Carney
    TeamLoxly.com BookGoodies.com ABCsPlus.com

  9. #9
    Network Rep & ABW Ambassador Carolyn - ShareASale's Avatar
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    September 6th, 2005
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    check, check, check, check...

    check, check, check, check...

    check, check, check, check...

    YES! 100%! A+ for CTang!

    Classic, and definitely forwarded to all my girlfriends.

  10. #10
    ABW Ambassador flamingoworld's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    None of the above sound familiar to me....

  11. #11
    Internet Cowboy
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    January 18th, 2005
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    3. We've suddenly decided that we want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe we could do it, too.
    That one reminds me of a night out years back with a blind date that nearly got my killed by a bunch of rednecks. She thought it would be cute to make fun of them. They were not amused.

    Those are funny. Having 5 sisters, I can apply all of them to one situation or another.

  12. #12
    Mama in Charge Anne's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    Too funny!

  13. #13
    http and a telephoto
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    (I'll admit to 7 & 8.... maybe )
    Deborah Carney
    TeamLoxly.com BookGoodies.com ABCsPlus.com

  14. #14
    The slot machine that IS paid! Billy Kay's Avatar
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    January 18th, 2005
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    You forgot #13... Even Scooter starts to look desirable

  15. #15
    Canadienne extraordinaire Susan's Avatar
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    August 11th, 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by flamingoworld
    None of the above sound familiar to me....

    Really Connie????? I think I need to take you out one night just for verification purposes ;-)
    Susan Arts
    Senior Vice President, Marketing
    Moxy Media

  16. #16
    Mama in Charge Anne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billy Kay
    You forgot #13... Even Scooter starts to look desirable
    OMG Scooter is the most hugable man in affiliate marketing. You don't need a drink to want to hug that man! Ya Meanie!

  17. #17
    Outsourced Program Manager Stephanie Harris's Avatar
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    October 11th, 2006
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    This list is hysterical - is it bad that I could probably check them all off and add a few more to boot?
    Stephanie Harris
    Schaaf Consulting
    p/f: 323.386.2338
    AIM: stephschaafco
    www.schaafco.com | stephanie@schaafco.com
    Our Programs: Baby Catalog | Blue Bee | Constant Contact | CourseSmart | ForMeToCoupon | Homestead | InTheSwim | Ipsos Survey Panel | LightInTheBox.com | Moosejaw | Mrs. Prindables | Payless ShoeSource | simply youth ministry | SnagAJob.com | Specialty Pool Products

  18. #18
    ABW Ambassador Sheri's Avatar
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    February 17th, 2005
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    OK - I didn't comment when this thread was open, but now I will. Every time that I see the title of this thread I get the song Red, Red, Wine by UB40 stuck in my head.

    Grrrr.

    Sheri

  19. #19
    Affiliate Manager BeachBDM's Avatar
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    December 29th, 2006
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    Port Hueneme, CA
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    That makes two of us Sheri!
    Sandra Martin
    sandeebottom at hotmail.com

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