Results 1 to 15 of 15
  1. #1
    Outsourced Program Manager Chris -  AMWSO's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Bangkok
    Posts
    11,273
    Cool Economic Models explained with cows..
    Not sure if this has been posted before but a friend just mailed it to me and it cracked me up

    SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

    COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

    FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

    NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

    BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the
    other, then throws the milk away...

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your
    herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
    income.

    SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
    harmonica lessons

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the
    other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to
    analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

    SHINAWATRA VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to
    your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
    brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
    associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax
    exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via
    an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority
    shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed
    company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option
    on one more. Sell one cow, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet
    provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

    THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot,
    and block the roads, because you want three cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
    one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You
    then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it
    worldwide.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live
    for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they
    are. You decide to have lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have
    five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them
    again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
    bottle of vodka.

    A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You
    charge the owners for storing them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and
    arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

    AN IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them
    that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you
    and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are
    part of a Democracy....

    A WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very
    attractive.

    AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good.
    You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
    Affiliate Marketing by AMWSO. Skype - chrissanderson ::: TEL 1-720-336-1784 ::: www.amwso.net
    Join our affiliate programs :Vaper Empire, Iolo, Art of Tea, or See ALL our Programs here

  2. #2
    Newbie alexrein's Avatar
    Join Date
    February 7th, 2007
    Posts
    50
    Quote Originally Posted by Chris - AMWSO
    A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
    one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You
    then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it
    worldwide.
    Rock on!!!

    The swiss corporation is very witty!

  3. #3
    Full Member Crocket's Avatar
    Join Date
    September 11th, 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    420
    lol good ones

  4. #4
    Analytics Dude Kevin's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Rochester, NY
    Posts
    5,904
    LOL. I think I've worked at/with all of these companies...
    Kevin Webster
    twitter: levelanalytics

    Kayak Fishing
    Web Analytics and Affiliate Marketing

  5. #5
    ABW Ambassador purplebear's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Posts
    3,960
    lol 'cowkimon'

  6. #6
    AM Navigator Geno Prussakov's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 10th, 2005
    Location
    Washington D.C. Metro Area
    Posts
    11,798
    All cute. I've seen this before, but it was good to read through it again...

    Quote Originally Posted by Chris - AMWSO
    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.


    Geno

  7. #7
    The Seal of Aproval rematt's Avatar
    Join Date
    November 19th, 2006
    Location
    The Windy City
    Posts
    4,140
    SHINAWATRA VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to
    your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
    brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
    associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax
    exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via
    an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority
    shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed
    company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option
    on one more. Sell one cow, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet
    provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
    This could also be Enronism
    "I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." - Richard Nixon

  8. #8
    Affiliate Manager MINDsprinter's Avatar
    Join Date
    August 18th, 2006
    Location
    Washington, DC
    Posts
    1,436
    Oh man, that surrealism one is halarious!

    How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    To get to the other side.

    Jason Rosenbaum
    Affiliate Manager
    MINDsprinting

  9. #9
    Affiliate Manager harrymond's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    India / Thailand
    Posts
    1,550
    Quote Originally Posted by Chris - AMWSO
    AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
    Perfect Chris...
    Cheers,

    Harry.
    Mondera Affiliate Manager
    http://www.mondera.com/affiliate_support/
    Winner of the LinkShare 2004 Golden Link Awards "Affiliate's Choice Award"
    Winner of the 2002 Abestweb.com "Best Affiliate Program Award"

  10. #10
    Member Azam's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Bloomsbury, London
    Posts
    395
    Absolutely hilarious

  11. #11
    Outsourced Program Manager Chris -  AMWSO's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Bangkok
    Posts
    11,273
    The Thaksin one is great, especially the play on words in the last line.... and sadly oh so true.... but I'm off to count my mad cows... I mean affiliate managers.
    Affiliate Marketing by AMWSO. Skype - chrissanderson ::: TEL 1-720-336-1784 ::: www.amwso.net
    Join our affiliate programs :Vaper Empire, Iolo, Art of Tea, or See ALL our Programs here

  12. #12
    ABW Ambassador erninator's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Posts
    1,054
    Quote Originally Posted by Chris - AMWSO
    SHINAWATRA VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
    associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax
    exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via
    an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority
    shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
    You recruit new business partners with the line, "Trust me, my friend".
    ~Ernie

  13. #13
    Troll Killer and best Snooper!
    I decide when the pigs fly!
    Rhea's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    New York, USA
    Posts
    6,195
    Dadaism: You have two cows. You put a bowler hat on one and take its picture which you cut into tiny pieces and reassemble on the body of the second cow. You photograph the second cow, name the photo "Mother" and sell it to an art collector for a million dollars.

  14. #14
    Member phantomcat's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    111
    Mexican Corporation - You have two cows. You cannot milk them since they are both asleep. So you take a siesta.
    Terrie
    Moonbeam Mega Mall

  15. #15
    Member phantomcat's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    111
    US MIliatary MPs - You have two bulls. You dress them in lingerie and threten to show the pictures to the cows unless the bulls convince the cows to milk themselves and to stop plotting to eat all the valuable grass.
    Terrie
    Moonbeam Mega Mall

  16. Newsletter Signup

+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. Mad Cows
    By Gordon in forum Virtual Family and Off-Topic
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: May 3rd, 2004, 10:48 PM
  2. Cows With Guns
    By oranges in forum Midnight Cafe'
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: December 23rd, 2003, 07:35 PM
  3. Looking for dancing cows
    By oranges in forum Midnight Cafe'
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: April 4th, 2003, 12:09 AM
  4. 365day cookie Executive Gifts, Clocks, Pens & Cows
    By lbuquet in forum Commission Junction - CJ
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: March 18th, 2003, 02:17 PM
  5. cows
    By Heyder in forum Midnight Cafe'
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: May 17th, 2002, 05:10 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •