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  1. #1
    ABW Ambassador Ron Bechdolt's Avatar
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    In an attempt to sail the ABW boat in a more positive direction (and also a very poor attempt at humor) I am posting this topic to let you all know that CARP will no longer be tolerated here at ABW. I know, this may sound a bit fishy to some of you, but it is a new rule we must all follow. A big pain in the bass for some of you, I'm sure. Many will feel I'm doing this just for the halibut, but I'm not!

    Rules:

    1. Don't bait me.
    2. Don't hook me and try to pull me in every time.
    3. Don't think you can fly or worm your way back in here.
    4. Bullheadedness will not be tolerated.
    5. If you flounder, we will take swift action.


    I hope you will all accept this in good fun. It was just a silly attempt to change the way things were going tonight.

  2. #2
    ABW Adviser Panel Dynamoo's Avatar
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    Absolutely, nasty things they are and if anyone tries to fling carp in my direction, I'll slap them with a wet fish.

    Меня зовут Динаму

  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador CrazyGuy's Avatar
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    I thought I was herring things when they told me about this thread. I don't want to mackerel-ly big deal about it, but I do think you're skating on thin ice.

    Stewart Hutton | Are you Crazy?

  4. #4
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    You'll must have a lot of time on your hands

  5. #5
    ABW Ambassador buy_online's Avatar
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    Hey, hey! I am from the International Association of Carp Lovers (IACL) - perhaps you've heard of us? You're hurting a lot of feelings with this Carp thing.

    Don't link [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] Carp with WhenU, Morpheus, and Gator, just because they are all bottom feeders!

    Ferd

    In an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

  6. #6
    ABW Ambassador
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    no catch and release permitted
    image hooked while trolling on the walleye warrior site

    It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

  7. #7
    ABW Ambassador Ron Bechdolt's Avatar
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    Come on, keep 'em coming. I'm sure everyone has a big fish story they want to tell here.

  8. #8
    Defender of Truth, Justice and the Affiliate Way
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    7-days,

    I just have to ask. How in the world are you able to be so witty at 1:36 in the morning? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] We now all know one of your talents, the good use of the pun. Hope you realize that we will be expecting more in the future. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

    Keep Your Hands Off My Cookies

  9. #9
    ABW Ambassador Ron Bechdolt's Avatar
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    lol

    (and I thought sure you were writing to tell me you were not putting up with any more of this CARP, I mean CRAP, no, no, I really mean CARP)

  10. #10
    ABW Ambassador
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    Two guys were out fishing, and having a pretty good day. After several hours of cramped sitting in the little boat, one guy stood up to stretch. He nearly lost his balance, and as he struggled to regain his composure, his wallet fell into the water.

    He watched in amazement as a fish came along, grabbed the wallet in its mouth, swam with it a few feet and passed it to another fish who swam out of sight in the murky depths.

    "Gosh," said the fisherman. "That's the first time I've ever seen carp-to-carp walleting!"

  11. #11
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    Knock-knock
    Who's There?
    Salmon
    Salmon Who
    Salmon I are going to the store.

    Knock-Knock
    Who's There?
    Shad
    Shad who?
    Shad I get you anything?

    Knock-knock
    Who's there?
    Walleye
    Walleye who?
    Walleye guess you can pay me later.

    Knock-knock
    Who's there?
    Sole
    Sole who?
    Sole ong.

  12. #12
    ABW Ambassador sjangro's Avatar
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    I think you guys are onto something here.

    Next time someone gets out of line, throw a few of these jokes their way.

    --
    Scott Jangro
    sjangro@befree.com

  13. #13
    ABW Ambassador
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    I love my Carp fishing, but my flyfishing even more.
    flyfishing for chickens, the new off season sport
    Is this going to be a new sport? Click here to see the story and pictures on trying to fly fish for chickens. A must see!!!
    I have such a wonderful site I pull these off of. Too bad it doesn't generate more $$$

    It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

  14. #14
    ABW Ambassador Ron Bechdolt's Avatar
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    From my kids, the following:

    What do you call a fish with no eye?
    FSH!!!!

    How do you stop a fish from smelling?
    Cut it's nose off

    What is the fastest fish in the sea?
    Go-carp.

    How do you kiss a pike?
    Very carefully!

  15. #15
    ABW Founder Haiko de Poel, Jr.'s Avatar
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    Two morons go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore. 1st moron: I hope you remember the spot where we caught all those fish. 2nd moron: Yes, I made an 'X' on the side of the boat to mark the spot. 1st moron: You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?


    What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
    One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!


    Where do shellfish go to borrow money ?
    The prawn broker


    What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse ?
    The Codfather


    Which kind of fish can perform operations ?
    A Sturgeon


    What fish goes up the river at 100mph ?
    A motor pike

    <font size="2" face="Verdana">Haiko


    The secret of success is constancy of purpose. ~ Disraeli
    </font></p>

  16. #16
    ABW Ambassador
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    Of course you people know I'm gonna want to Pranavise all these fishy sayings for my web site.

    It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

  17. #17
    Member Vampyre's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by 7-days:
    In an attempt to sail the ABW boat in a more positive direction (and also a very poor attempt at humor) I am posting this topic to let you all know that CARP will no longer be tolerated here at ABW<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    So this thread is just a red herring then? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

  18. #18
    ABW Adviser Panel Dynamoo's Avatar
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    Fishist.

    Меня зовут Динаму

  19. #19
    Affiliate Manager frankodelic's Avatar
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    All right... I can't resist...

    What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall???

    Dam.

    Here's one sure to get a groan or two...

    Freddy Fish and Sam Clam

    Freddy Fish and Sam Clam were the best of friends, and did everything together. One day, though, both perished in a freak mishap. Freddy Fish went to heaven, and immediately looked around for his best friend. Not finding him, he asked St. Peter where Sam was.

    "Sorry, he didn't make it in."
    "You mean he's down there?" asked Freddy.
    "Yes."
    "Well, I want to go see him!"
    "This is highly unorthodox," said St. Peter. "I'll ask the big guy."

    Moments later St. Peter returned and said: "You can go, but you can only stay for one hour."

    "Great!" said Freddy, and grabbed his harp before anyone changed their minds. He went to the elevator, and went down.

    When the elevator doors opened, Freddy saw a huge sign: SAM'S DISCOTHEQUE

    He went in, and discovered that it was run by his old friend. They sat down and reminisced about old times, and had a few drinks. Time
    flew by, and when Freddy noticed his watch, he saw that he had fifteen seconds left to return. He jumped out of his chair, yelled a goodbye to Sam Clam, and raced to the elevator.

    The elevator doors opened in heaven with only one second to spare. St. Peter was standing there with a stopwatch. "You just barely made it," said St. Peter.

    "I know," panted Freddy, out of breath. "But I have to go back there!"

    "What do you mean!?!" asked an incredulous St. Peter.

    So Freddy Fish says: "I left my harp in Sam Clam's Disco!"

    Frank
    UrbanScooters.com

  20. #20
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    LOL - Good one, Frank!

  21. #21
    ABW Ambassador John Kruger's Avatar
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    Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place. First guy: " You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." Second guy: " that's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool." Third guy: " Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her." They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him. You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. " What's the deal?" Fourth guy: " I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, " Fishing or Sex" and she said, " Wear a Sweater."

    Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

    www.teampb.com

  22. #22
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
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    Very funny teampb, though I must say this thread is kinda crappie....

    I Will FOCUS On My Goal

  23. #23
    ABW Ambassador CrazyGuy's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by elbowcreek:
    though I must say this thread is kinda crappie....
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    That may be your reel opinion but the net effect will simply be to bait people here into further piscean posts - and who's shoalder will you cry on then?

    Stewart Hutton | Are you Crazy?

  24. #24
    ABW Ambassador Ron Bechdolt's Avatar
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    Crazy Guy,

    You and I should team up to answer posts here. Imagine the fun we could have!

    I think you even topped me on that one.

  25. #25
    ABW Ambassador CrazyGuy's Avatar
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    7 Days,

    Together we can scale new heights, or should that be plumb new depths?

    In fact, from now on I'll no longer post anything that's incisive, well-informed, thoughtful, erudite or helpful.

    Puns are the new rock 'n' roll.

    Are you Crazy?

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