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  1. #1
    Outsourced Program Manager Chris -  AMWSO's Avatar
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    Unhappy I'm so miserable!
    Now I thought this was going to be great...here's the scenario...

    My wife has gone to Germany to spend three weeks in Berlin with her Mum (who she's never met before!!) , I packed the kids off to my Mum's for 2 weeks...so here I am with the house to myself.... it's a guys dream, Hi Fi on full blast, Xbox games at 2 am in the morning, coffee stains on the table and.... I feel miserable... I miss my beloved wife

    At first I thought it was a passing moment and it would get better, but no it's getting worse, I can't sleep at night , Xbox has lost all interest, loud music still keeps me happy...till I bang on some Chicago and then I've got the lump in my throat.... what a wet blanket eh!

    I'm compensating by going to the gym every day and working out till I need to just about crawl to the showers...and working the other 20 hours a day!

    ...and it's another 10 days till she gets back, at least I have the kids back next week to perk me up

    I'm not ashamed to shout out loud that I love Nok SOOOO MUCH!!!!

    Cheers

    Chris
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  2. #2
    ABW Ambassador writerguy's Avatar
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    I'm not sure it gets better. No help, eh?

    Shirley and I had never been apart for more than two or three days until a few years ago when her mother, who lived 2000+ miles away, started experiencing failing health. During the next year until her mother died, Shirley went to see her three or four times for as long as two weeks on one occasion.

    I didn't know how I'd get through the loneliness. But I did.

    You could try focusing on the good side of this -- your wife's meeting with her mom. Of course, I'm sure you do.

    Otherwise, I found large portions of Kentucky Fried Chicken once a day helped. But maybe that was just me?

    Gary the Writerguy

  3. #3
    Outsourced Program Manager Chris -  AMWSO's Avatar
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    Otherwise, I found large portions of Kentucky Fried Chicken once a day helped. But maybe that was just me?
    KFC would be a gross violation of my diet

    So far I have found that copious amounts of whisky are numbing my brain enough to knock me out each night

    Of course Nok is having a great time in Germany, I remember when I went to Canada earlier this year I didn't feel miserable..I guess it must be the "left at home" one that suffers

    Cheers

    Chris
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  4. #4
    ABW Founder Haiko de Poel, Jr.'s Avatar
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    I get the exact same way when Michelle goes to Georgia ... I know the feeling buddy ... I like to go for a nice long drive with some serious tunage -- definitely not "Chicago"
    Continued Success,

    Haiko
    The secret of success is constancy of purpose ~ Disraeli

  5. #5
    Comfortably Numb John Powell's Avatar
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    So far I have found that copious amounts of whisky are numbing my brain enough to knock me out each night
    There was an old country song that I remember part of the lyrics too.
    Booze plus blues is not a right combination for anyone to choose.
    Long walks are good. You'll make it.

  6. #6
    Affiliate Network Rep Kim Salvino's Avatar
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    Chris,

    That's so sweet! I'm sure your wife would love to view this thread upon her return.

    Take it one day at a time. Pull out the photo albums and count the reasons you feel so lucky to have her! That should help you pass some time.

    Better yet, write them down and give them to her - would make a nice homecoming surprise.
    Kim Salvino, Client Services Director, Performance Horizon Group
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  7. #7
    AM Navigator Geno Prussakov's Avatar
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    Chris, I know how you feel, mate. I know exactly how you feel, Chris.... Germany is about as far away from you as the West Coast of the U.S. (where I fly at least twice a year away from my Lil' Princess and my gorgeous wife) is from Moscow. Hang on there, mate!! Gym sounds like the right "medicine".

    Geno

  8. #8
    general fuq mrbshouse's Avatar
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    damn not even x box helps ;-)

    you must have a very special relationship....i know that feeling well

  9. #9
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    The biggest thing for me is sleeping at night when I travel. I have found that a nice big pillow situated next to me in bed helps me sleep. I guess it is a replacement for the body that normally is next to me.

    Just remember this feeling the next big disagreement, I know it mellows me out .

    Take care,

    Brian

  10. #10
    Outsourced Program Manager Chris -  AMWSO's Avatar
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    Thanks all, some great ideas and shared suffering , though I might have to skip the walking , it's hitting mid 40s (celcius) here right now

    Just remember this feeling the next big disagreement, I know it mellows me out
    You are so right Brian that's something I'll certainly be very focused on!

    Pull out the photo albums and count the reasons you feel so lucky to have her!
    Did that yesterday, going back through five years of pictures on Ofoto, I'd not looked at them for a while and it was amazing to see the kids grow too. Alex swam his first 10 metres this week (my mum is a swimming coach) so I'm looking forwards to seeing them next Monday and watching them show off their new founds swimming skills

    with some serious tunage
    Running out of whisky, had a nice Laphroaig but it's got one glass left, I think I might be just about knackered enough tonight to fall right to sleep now....

    Thanks everyone, ABW, always there when you need it

    Cheers

    Chris
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  11. #11
    Affiliate Manager rcampbell's Avatar
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    It's good to see I am not the only guy who gets bored and lonely when the wife and kids leave town.

    My wife is planning a trip to visit her family this summer for 4 weeks. Week 1 usually involves xbox and as much sports as I can watch. Week 2 the fun declines and then it is all downhill from there. Good luck Chris and the gym is a good idea. I will have to do that when my wife leaves the next time.

  12. #12
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    Of course Nok is having a great time in Germany, I remember when I went to Canada earlier this year I didn't feel miserable..I guess it must be the "left at home" one that suffers
    Well, you don't have to suffer that much.

    Just rent the four Home Alone movies and make believe you're young again and do some of the stuff that Macaulay Culkin did on the first movie, or play with the RC car and a webcam like on the other sequel, etc.......

    You will have at least eight hours to kill in the mean time.

    Just between Affiliate Marketing, ABW, and the Home Alone movies, those two weeks will pass very fast.

    But be careful with the whisky and the , they don't mix too well. (I know. )



  13. #13
    Moderator MichaelColey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris - AMWSO
    My wife has gone to Germany to spend three weeks in Berlin with her Mum
    AND

    Quote Originally Posted by Chris - AMWSO
    Coincidence? (Okay, other than the fact that you lost the weight months ago?)

    My suggestion... Bury yourself in a good project.
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  14. #14
    ABW Ambassador DesignerWiz's Avatar
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    I was going to recommend downing whiskey before bed ... but you've already tried that.

    Chris, stay away from the music that you know that your wife/kids like as well ... that'll only pull you back down.

    I guess the only thing not mentioned yet is taking some sleeping pills (in moderation of course) to get through the night on that lonely bed.

    Good luck Chris.
    Ray Thomas
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  15. #15
    The slot machine that IS paid! Billy Kay's Avatar
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    The fact that you can miss someone that much says it all Chris!

    You only get one shot at life's merry-go-round... and you have the brass ring!

  16. #16
    Pimp Duck popdawg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billy Kay
    The fact that you can miss someone that much says it all Chris!

    You only get one shot at life's merry-go-round... and you have the brass ring!
    Geez, you rarely find someone that special, the least you could do is spend a little on a nice ring for her. KIDDING!!!!

    Stage 1) Boy fun for a few days. Loud music and games with all the bad food in the house.

    Stage 2) Time to bear down phase. Get some serious work in ... usually lasts a day or two.

    Stage 3) The "well now what?" phase. Thats a couple of days of wandering around with no direction because ... well ... she's not there to give direction.

    Stage 4) SHE'S NOT THERE!!!!! Lasts a couple of days. Nothing gets done and you start watching things like Sleepless in Seattle and Rudy.

    Stage 5) "Sweet Jesus she's on her way home" This is the worst stage. You know she's coming home and you know she will kill you for the mess you have made. Very tiring stage because you have a ton to do. You swear you don't remember having a sunday, but theres a half eaten melted sunday in a dirty pair of your boxer shorts on top of the living room lamp. What get's chocolate sauce out of lamp shades? Quick better get online and look up a solution.

    Stage 6) Oops. You went online to look up stain removal tips and ended up checking in at ABW for two hours and now she is pulling up the driveway and quick put everything dirty in the washing machine and dont worry about the felt pen you can't find that you used to put mustaches on all your wifes pictures of her mother and will that leak in the washer? ... oh crap it does and her favorite towels are in there too and HONEY!!!! I didn't see you pull up. How was your trip? I love you very much. No, no, no sweetums, let me put those dirty things in the laundry room for you. I love you. Wess I do. I wuv you vewy much.

    Stage 7) Doghouse. Here indefinitely.


    You know ... that's how I hear it goes anyway.




    Honey?





    Can I come in?
    ================================================================
    Been away, now I'm back. Not as much, but I'm back & starting from scratch. Where I was, was fantastic. Where I am now, less so. Things have changed, become harder. So have I. Game ON!!!
    ================================================================

  17. #17
    Affiliate Manager rcampbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by popdawg

    Stage 1) Boy fun for a few days. Loud music and games with all the bad food in the house.

    Stage 2) Time to bear down phase. Get some serious work in ... usually lasts a day or two.

    Stage 3) The "well now what?" phase. Thats a couple of days of wandering around with no direction because ... well ... she's not there to give direction.

    Stage 4) SHE'S NOT THERE!!!!! Lasts a couple of days. Nothing gets done and you start watching things like Sleepless in Seattle and Rudy.

    Stage 5) "Sweet Jesus she's on her way home" This is the worst stage. You know she's coming home and you know she will kill you for the mess you have made. Very tiring stage because you have a ton to do. You swear you don't remember having a sunday, but theres a half eaten melted sunday in a dirty pair of your boxer shorts on top of the living room lamp. What get's chocolate sauce out of lamp shades? Quick better get online and look up a solution.

    Stage 6) Oops. You went online to look up stain removal tips and ended up checking in at ABW for two hours and now she is pulling up the driveway and quick put everything dirty in the washing machine and dont worry about the felt pen you can't find that you used to put mustaches on all your wifes pictures of her mother and will that leak in the washer? ... oh crap it does and her favorite towels are in there too and HONEY!!!! I didn't see you pull up. How was your trip? I love you very much. No, no, no sweetums, let me put those dirty things in the laundry room for you. I love you. Wess I do. I wuv you vewy much.
    This is truly scary how true these stages are for me when my wife goes out of town. You hit it on the head popdawg.

  18. #18
    ABW Ambassador
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    My suggestion...
    My suggestion:

    Chris, sublimate your longings productively by throwing yourself into some meaningful activity as an expression of your love:

    Clean the house for her!

    Make everything shiny and squeaky clean. Wash and polish floors, polish furniture, dust pictures on the walls, make all glass & mirrors shine, vaccuum sofas and other upholstered furniture, shampoo carpets, clean out the fridge, freezer and microwave so they're spotless, clean the oven. If you have vertical blinds, wash them down, get drapes and curtains cleaned and washed. Clean the tops of ceiling fans, dust books and bookcases. Make sure any laundry around is washed and put away, tidy the linen closet and clean and tidy the kitchen cupboards. Scrub the bathroom down, if any rooms need painting do it or have it done. Inventory groceries and if anything is needed shop for the items so no marketing is needed when she gets back.

    Make a list of all that to present to her when she gets home, with a gift certificate enclosed for something super special. And tell her why.

  19. #19
    ABW Ambassador Sam Bay's Avatar
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    Oh, you sissies!

  20. #20
    Prince of Content Vinny O'Hare's Avatar
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    Chris if you need a to-do list I have a few hundred things online you can do for me
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  21. #21
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by webworker

    Clean the house for her!

    Make everything shiny and squeaky clean. Wash and polish floors, polish furniture, dust pictures on the walls, make all glass & mirrors shine, vaccuum sofas and other upholstered furniture, shampoo carpets, clean out the fridge, freezer and microwave so they're spotless, clean the oven. If you have vertical blinds, wash them down, get drapes and curtains cleaned and washed. Clean the tops of ceiling fans, dust books and bookcases. Make sure any laundry around is washed and put away, tidy the linen closet and clean and tidy the kitchen cupboards. Scrub the bathroom down, if any rooms need painting do it or have it done. Inventory groceries and if anything is needed shop for the items so no marketing is needed when she gets back.
    Oooooooooo then can you come over and do my house? I have lots of whiskey and I play a mean game of darts LOL

    Serious: Loving someone as you love your wife is an incredible experience. Enjoy the longing and enjoy her more when she returns. You're a lucky man and she's a lucky woman. Your kids are lucky to have parents who love and respect each other. Even though it seems all bad right now, it's all good.

    PS: Stay away from the country music!
    Peace,

    Rexanne

    Rexanne.com
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  22. #22
    Outsourced Program Manager Chris -  AMWSO's Avatar
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    I think I'll just need to read this thread each night to get cheered up

    Going through the check list

    - Clean the house : Got that covered, kept my chaos to a small zone
    - Stay away from Country Music, I have a Willie Nelson tape somewhere..not sure where
    - New ring, covered that on Valentines
    - Working for NY Falcon.... not done that yet... nice simple stuff to keep me busy is good!
    - stay away from music... ah blew that bought a bunch of new CDs yesterday, The Shadows, Simon and Garfunkel and Bon Jovi.
    - Working on a good project, got a new RPG session kicking off this weekend, lots to plan and prepare. Plus been working on that LinKShare RSS / XML
    - Home alone movies, have to grab those for when the kids get back, good family films

    ... of course Popdawg has me running scared now guess I better hide some keys around the house and garden to be on the safe side!!

    Cheers

    Chris
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  23. #23
    Affiliate Manager Alan Hamilton's Avatar
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    Ah, it gets better Chris. Loving someone that much is a great thing that makes your life a sweet success. Congratulations on caring so deeply for your wife.
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  24. #24
    Ride It Like You Stole It CowgirlUp's Avatar
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    That is soooo sweet you miss her so much!

    My husband went hunting in West Virginia over x-mas and called more during that week then I think he has called the whole time we have been married. Absence must truly make the heart grow fonder.

    Congrats on having such a special bond! Oh, and cleaning the house for her is a fabulous idea ;^)
    Be the change you want to see in the world ~ Gandhi

  25. #25
    The "other" left wing davidh's Avatar
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    I would recommend an evening at the NaNa :P
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