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May 6th, 2007, 09:52 AM #1
Drawing the line...
- Join Date
- January 18th, 2005
- West Coast USA
So I have this acquaintance that I've know for about 5 years,
I met him at a sales seminar.
From time to time we meet for lunch and he never has enough money to cover his portion of the bill.
I've picked up the whole tab more than once.
So last week we meet for lunch and I tell him we will ask for separate checks.
He says that he only has 5 bucks. That will not cover lunch.
I am sick of moochers!
I told him that I needed to draw the line and that if he could not pay I would just get up and leave him there.
There are lots of stories about people being used for money this way, and I don’t want to be one of them anymore.
I left him and don't expect to hear from him again.
What do you all think?
May 6th, 2007, 11:45 AM #2
I think you did the right thing. A gentleman would have offered, told you I will get you next time, hey thank you very much this month has been slow so I am low on money, or hey come over to my place to I can make dinner for us etc. You should not be taken advantage of. There are many users out there so if you gut said to leafe then you did the right thing. Hang in there!
May 6th, 2007, 12:53 PM #3
if he only brought $5 to lunch, he was planning on sticking it to you.
a real friend, at the start of a discussion of a lunch, would have said "sorry, can't afford it - how 'bout we get together for a coffee or something". then if you want to offer to treat, you can, but there's no guilt leverage or games or jimmying (that's my childhood word for screwing your buddy financially) going on. there's no shame in not having enough money for lunch on a particular day, the shame is in expecting someone else to do for you without being truly needy and without asking first.
you did the right thing. bringing it out into the open gives him a chance to digest it - i bet he'll come around.
May 6th, 2007, 02:59 PM #4
That's the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. I have lots of acquaintances and a few really good friends.
May 6th, 2007, 03:10 PM #5Originally Posted by Adam WardPeace,
Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic
May 6th, 2007, 07:56 PM #6Originally Posted by Donuts
OK, Alright, I get it already. I'll bring more money with me next time!!
You KNOW you did the right thing. Obviously this guy figured you are one of the "lucky" ones who makes money, and perhaps you have projected an image of success, and so he figures you will cover. At any rate, you "done" good - real good!! If he comes around, and if he at all values your friendship (without a dollar tag) you have shared a valuable lesson with him. If he doesn't, no loss. Maybe you could send him a brown bag for the next get together?
May 7th, 2007, 09:06 AM #7
I've been tight on money from time to time in my life (who hasn't?), but I never expected someone else to pick up my tab. If you can't afford to pay the bill, you don't agree to go, it's as simple as that. I've had buddies offer to cover me, and I've covered buddies, but a blanket expectation of someone else paying your tab...
You did the right thing. Maybe a bit late, but you did the right thing.Chris Sturgill
"All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals." - H. Simpson
May 7th, 2007, 09:33 AM #8
You absolutely did the right thing. Who needs a "friend" who just keeps mooching from you? I think after the first or second time, I would have been inclined to ask "You mean you didn't bring enough money to pay for your lunch?" or when we agreed to meet next a half-joking reminder "Don't forget to brind enough money this time" and chuckle. If he doesn't get it, forget him.