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  1. #1
    Affiliate Manager Alan Hamilton's Avatar
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    Memorial Day Funny Sh - - Stories
    Well, in the "what are you doing for the Memorial day weekend" thread I mentioned that I would start a new thread so we can share some of the hilarious (if not sometimes unfortunate) things we see when boating or camping on weekends.

    This can apply to both holiday weekends when the camgrounds and boat ramps are flooded, as well as routine outings. Scooter mentioned that he's gonna sit by the ramp with a beer and camera to entertain himself this weekend, so I'll start it off with just a couple fiascos I've witnessed at boat ramps....

    1.) We were in Wyoming 25 years ago with friends at a lake we liked to fish and water ski. We rented a cabin near the boat ramp, and each morning I'd get a few people up at 6 am so we could ski while the water was like glass.

    One morning, about 6 or so, there was a soft knock on my cabin door. I opened the door to see a dejected looking guy in his late 20's who then said: "I'm sorry to bother you this early, but I was wondering if you scuba dive and if you have scuba equipment with you?"

    I told him I did not have equipment with me, and then asked if everything was alright. He said: "no, my truck and boat trailer are underwater at the boat ramp."

    As we do usually had snorkels and masks with us when we went to a lake, I offered to see if I could help. I told him I'd be right down with one of my friends who also snorkeled.

    When I got to the ramp, I saw his young wife sitting on the dock, her face in her hands, crying. She kept apologizing to him and saying how she couldn't stop the truck from rolling down the ramp.

    I put a hand on her shoulder and told her that everything was going to be ok, and that we'd get their truck out.

    As we stood on the dock next to the ramp, we could visibly see the truck underwater, slowly continuing to roll back deeper and deeper into the drink. Apparently, when hubby backed it up to the ramp, he had his wife take over at the wheel while he went back to get the boat off the trailer.

    As he released the boat, he heard a "pop" and the truck and trailer quickly rolled backward into the water. She tried to re-engage the emergency hand brake that had slipped, but neither that nor the foot brakes would stop it from rolling. I a panic, she jumped out the driver door.

    By the time we started diving down to the front axle to tie a rope on the frame so we could tow it out, the truck roof was at least 5' underwater. It took us several dives to get the rope tied off, and then the folks who owned the marina brought a tractor down, hooked up and slowly pulled the truck and trailer out of the water. It was a heart breaker, because the truck was a totally restored, cherried out 1955 Chevy pickup that he had been restoring for "show" for the past three years. The truck, boat and trailer were all matched with a candy apple red metallic paint.

    The engine of course had filled with water, so he was forced to spend the next three days at the lot above the ramp removing the heads so he could get the water out of the cylinders. The real kicker came when he told me a day later that the couple who origially talked them into taking the boat and truck up for the weekend were supposed to meet them the day, but they never showed up.

    2.) We were at Lake Powell in the early 80's at Bullfrog marina. The launch ramp is wide enough for 6 boats to launch at the same time. As I walked down to the bottom of the ramp to shoot the breeze with a friend of our who was there, we heard someone up the ramp scream "HELP - OMG HELP."

    A guy with a motor home was backing his motor home down the ramp and the boat trailer suddenly broke loose from the motor home and had started to roll down the ramp. Just as it was beginning to gain speed, two guys ran up from the starboard side of the boat and shoved the bow to the port side. The trailer immediately responded my jack-knifing 90 degrees and the boat came off fast and rolled several times before it came to a stop. There was fiberglass all over the upper ramp, and a lot of scared out of their shorts boaters. If those two guys had not done what they did, there would have been a serious - if not fatal accident when it reached the people and vehicles below. It turned out that he had not checked the ball on his hitch, and the nut came off, which allowed the ball to disengage from the hitch.

    There's a lot more memories, especially husbands and wives screaming and yelling at each other when they try to load or unload the boat, but let's hear some funny stuff you've seen while people are "enjoying the outdoors"
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  2. #2
    Ride It Like You Stole It CowgirlUp's Avatar
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    My family has a house boat down on Lake Cumberland. One Memorial weekend we ran out of gas out on the lake, fortunately we had a john boat on the side of it to fish out of. When my cousin went to fire up the outboard.......it was out of gas too! We had to sit around and wait for someone to come by LOL

    Now this weekend, on Friday night, hubby and I went out on the river. We were catfishing on this little bend and wasn't having much luck. The longer we were out there the busier the banks became. We were about to pack it up when Brad got a bite. Everyone on the river was hooping and hollering for him as he reeled in a bout a 2 lb catfish.

    When he got it off the hook and put in back in the water (we catch and release ) He shouted out "Who's your daddy?!" at the campers. Oye, the testosterone levels of men congratulating him on the only catch of the day was sickening. Just as I was going to bring my line in I got a hit. I thought for sure I had a channel cat too until this smallmouth came jumping above the water like a marlin! This little guy put up such a fight and a show that before I knew it I had like 12 people standing behind me to see it when I brought to the bank. He was about 10 inches and 2 lbs but one hell of a thrasher!

    I got him off the hook and let the crowd aghhhh over him. After I put him back I turned to Brad and said "Who's your daddy now?" Total Mr. and Mrs. Smith moment
    Last edited by rgrsgrl; May 28th, 2007 at 10:16 AM. Reason: grammar
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  3. #3
    Moderator MichaelColey's Avatar
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    We used to go fishing quite a bit when we were little. Often we would spend more time swimming than fishing. Kids don't have a lot of patience.

    Once, my brother and I and a friend were swimming around a bridge and the concrete pilings had quite a bit of green vegetation on it. (We called it moss, but I'm not sure what it was.) My brother kept pulling the front of his swimming trunks out, making obscene gestures. I grabbed a handful of moss and the next time he did it, threw the moss down the front of his trunks. We still call him "moss" sometimes.

    Once when the lake was way down, we were out walking in an area that had once been underwater and I found a fishing line. I followed it to the end and found a rod with an Ambassador 5000 reel on it. (The rod was shot, but we were able to clean the reel!) From that time on, I always looked for other lines. A few years later, we were at the river and weren't having any luck so my brother and I went downstream to swim for a while. I ran across a line, followed it to one end and it was just a broken line. I followed it to the other end and found a good sized (live!) catfish on it! I pulled it in and brought it up to my parents. It was the only fish any of us caught that day.

    Once, our whole extended family was at the lake for a big get together. One of my younger cousins must have been about 3 or 4, and she had to go to the bathroom. My aunt pointed her up the hill to the bathroom. About 30 seconds later, almost to the bathrooms, she turned around and loudly announced to everyone, "I didn't make it!"
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  4. #4
    Affiliate Manager Alan Hamilton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rgrsgrl
    He was about 10 inches and 2 lbs!
    Amy, funny story... but hey, what's the primary nutrition source for smallmouths down there? Lead marbles? LOL
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  5. #5
    Ride It Like You Stole It CowgirlUp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ALH - AmeritrustRx
    what's the primary nutrition source for smallmouths down there? Lead marbles? LOL
    LOL! If he was the same darn fish that had been sucking the chicken liver of my hook all night probably a pound and a half was just a full stomach, roflmao!

    Oh yeah, forgot to mention, Brad almost cried when I told him your story about the '55 chevy
    Last edited by rgrsgrl; May 28th, 2007 at 05:22 PM. Reason: spelling
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  6. #6
    Affiliate Manager Alan Hamilton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MichaelColey
    Once, my brother and I and a friend were swimming around a bridge and the concrete pilings had quite a bit of green vegetation on it. (We called it moss, but I'm not sure what it was.)
    Ummm, Ahhhhh, actually Michael, that green slippery stuff comes mainly from sewage that could not be processed and is generally released in slow moving rivers to be carried off to sea, where salt and phosphorous breaks it down. It carries all varieties of fatal diseases and potential nerve attacking disorders. But not to worry....

    The good news is that only about 83% of the diseases ever actually become active in humans, and then only in their later thirties or early forties. So your brother has those odds going for him...

    One thing I'd suggest watching for in the future, just to be safe....

    Kind of keep an eye on which side of a tree your brother generally stands. If he begins to show a preference for the north side, you may want to tactfully segway into how it's time for those annual physicals and blood work, and maybe mention how much fun it would be if the two of you went at the same time. Kind of a brotherly bonding kinda deal!!
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  7. #7
    Ride It Like You Stole It CowgirlUp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ALH - AmeritrustRx
    Ummm, Ahhhhh, actually Michael, that green slippery stuff comes mainly from sewage that could not be processed and is generally released in slow moving rivers to be carried off to sea, where salt and phosphorous breaks it down. It carries all varieties of fatal diseases and potential nerve attacking disorders. But not to worry....

    The good news is that only about 83% of the diseases ever actually become active in humans, and then only in their later thirties or early forties. So your brother has those odds going for him...
    OMG, I didn't know that!

    My poor kids will never be allowed to swim in a river again!

    Michael's story about his little cousin reminds of my daughter when she was little. We were at a family cookout and she had to go and one of my cousins told her since she was little she could pee outside and she wouldn't get in trouble, that was until she went on the porch! LOL
    Be the change you want to see in the world ~ Gandhi

  8. #8
    ABW Ambassador meadowmufn's Avatar
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    Ok, y'all... I'm a horrible story teller, so this probably won't come out as funny as it was, but here goes...

    I was down visiting a friend in FL and we went out on the St. John's River in his boat. I was sitting in the very back. We had barely gotten out of the marina and really started moving when I noticed the live well overflowing. So, nonchalantly, I put my feet up on the side of the boat and said, "Hey, we're takin' on water." Well, he's a bit deaf (WWII damage), especially when the engine's running. I'm not much better (loud computer lab damage, lol). So, after a few attempts at getting his attention, he turns around and says (and the look on his face was classic) "HOLY S***! Why didn't you tell me we were sinking!?" ROFLMAO. "I did."

    He spent the next 15 minutes or so fixing the live well and trying to get the pump working properly. I cracked some joke about swimming to shore when he reminded me of all the alligators, which incidentally I could hear plenty of (babies calling for their mother).

    Finally, we got on our way out on the river. We spent several hours out there cracking jokes, insulting each other, and laughing, not catching a damn thing. (I'm convinced those fish finders are worthless!) Then, just as we're about to hang it up for the day, we both notice I've got something on my pole. Whatever it is, it's BIG. We were in a bit of a current so it was going all alongside the boat. I finally pull it up to the surface and it's.... a rope and net tangled up with a boat anchor. It turned out to be our only catch of the day, so we proudly each took pictures with it as if it was a record breaking bass. We laughed our asses off all the way back to the marina. I'd have to say that was one of the most fun fishing trips I've ever had.
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  9. #9
    Ride It Like You Stole It CowgirlUp's Avatar
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    meadowmufn, that's too funny!

    I don't think I'm woman enough to fish anywhere where there's gators!
    Be the change you want to see in the world ~ Gandhi

  10. #10
    ABW Ambassador meadowmufn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rgrsgrl
    meadowmufn, that's too funny!

    I don't think I'm woman enough to fish anywhere where there's gators!
    It's not a problem as long as the boat doesn't sink or you don't fall overboard... or one doesn't go for your bait.
    -Don't criticize anyone til you've walked a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticize them, you'll be a mile away and have their shoes.
    - Silence is golden. Duct Tape is silver.

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