Results 1 to 10 of 10
  1. #1
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Los Angeles
    Men & Shopping
    This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

    After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.

    Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

    Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse.

    One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

    Dear Mrs. Fenton,

    Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares - get on it right away."

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

    6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a

    carpeted area.

    7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

    8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

    9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

    12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

    13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

    14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

    And last, but not least,

    15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

    Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic

  2. #2
    ABW Ambassador
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Los Angeles
    OMG, that is hilarious.

  3. #3
    Classic Rocker Mack's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 27th, 2007
    Lower Left Coast
    Quote Originally Posted by Rexanne
    This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
    That was hilarious. Men and women can never shop together for a very simple reason. Take clothing as an example.

    Men = Hunters. They know exactly what they want, they head straight for it. They kill it [pay for it] and take it home.

    Women = Gatherers. They look at everything, twice, four times. Try on 5 things, buy 4 of them and bring them home. They try them on at home again, look them over 5 times and bring 4 of them back. All that work to hunt and kill 1 item.

    Note: Only the good gatherers bring 4 back. The bad ones keep them all, hang them in the closet and complain "I don't have anything to wear, I need to go shopping".

  4. #4
    Network Rep & ABW Ambassador Carolyn - ShareASale's Avatar
    Join Date
    September 6th, 2005
    Love it!!! Working at Borders and everyone looked at me funny when I snorted...

  5. #5
    Affiliate Manager
    Join Date
    April 9th, 2006
    Ha ha! That's GREAT! ha ha! Thanks for that!

  6. #6
    Affiliate Manager MINDsprinter's Avatar
    Join Date
    August 18th, 2006
    Washington, DC
    So funny, and I've actually done #11, and got kicked of the mall as a result! Those mall cops sure mean business.
    Jason Rosenbaum
    Affiliate Manager

  7. #7
    Ride It Like You Stole It CowgirlUp's Avatar
    Join Date
    March 25th, 2007
    ROFLMAO!!! Those are great, I think I should try a few next time I go shopping ;^)
    Be the change you want to see in the world ~ Gandhi

  8. #8
    Full Member RickPlmr's Avatar
    Join Date
    July 6th, 2006
    Sweet - some new ideas for the next time I'm stuck shopping at Target with my wife!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    June 6th, 2007
    Now that's the truth... and funny!

  10. #10
    The slot machine that IS paid! Billy Kay's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Small Town in Tennessee
    I have no class - I'm definately gonna' try a few of those!!!

  11. Newsletter Signup

+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. What We Love About Each Other (Men & Women)
    By Rexanne in forum Virtual Family and Off-Topic
    Replies: 53
    Last Post: September 6th, 2007, 11:10 PM
  2. 5 Russian Jokes about MEN & WOMEN
    By russianlegacy in forum Virtual Family and Off-Topic
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: February 26th, 2005, 04:23 AM
  3. Women for the first time outnumber men in online shopping
    By jc101 in forum Newbie Affiliate FAQs & Helpful Articles
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: November 30th, 2003, 06:03 PM
  4. Men love Christmas shopping online
    By jc101 in forum Newbie Affiliate FAQs & Helpful Articles
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: November 17th, 2003, 10:20 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts