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  1. #1
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
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    So, I start to step out onto my back porch the other night, when, simultaneously, three related events occur.

    1. I startle a possum who has wandered up onto the porch, in search of the cat food scraps which my children have obligingly placed there.

    2. Said possum takes off running from me, along the length of the side of our garage.

    3. I realise that the garage door, which resides just around the corner at the end of said length, has been left up.

    Realising that said possum was trundling almost certainly in search of a dark, cave-like opening in which to hide, I bolted through my kitchen, then through the laundry room, throwing open the garage entrance, and flicking on a light, just in time to see the possum scurry into the garage and delve into the farthest corner from the garage doors as possible, underneath some tools.

    Knowing that I'd rather face certain death than have to tell my wife I have allowed a possum into our garage, I began to analyse the situation, and developed a fool-proof plan.

    Unfortunately, my wife also frowns on shotgun blasts inside the house, which I assume to include the garage. Moving on to plan B, I threw the garage door wide open, then lined an escape route for the possum with boxes, tables, a riding lawn mower, and assorted solid items. Once I got him onto the path, I'd just chase his sorry @ss right out of my habitation.

    Grabbing two long implements - a three pronged hoe and my oldest son's Hog Cane, I perched myself precariously on top of my oldest son's Hog Show box, and leaned over, bracing myself with one hand on the cane, while jabbing the possum from behind with the hoe.

    Just as the possum gets the message and begins his desperate run from the crazed white hunter, my pants - which have been heretofor cooperating just fine, thank you - drop to my ankles.

    Now, keep in mind, I am standing on a box, in front of a window, that fronts a road - I can see cars passing, and they can most assuredly see me. They are now aware that their neighbor wears funny colored boxers, and likes to prance about in them in his garage, while weilding strange, gardening type weapons.

    The possum then takes it upon himself to show some initiative, by trying to break free of my well constructed escape tunnel and launch himself back into the corner. Lacking time for the subtleties of dress, I half jump half flop down onto the floor, and hop after the possum, yelling obscenities and swatting at him like a crazed mad man, trying not to trip on my pants.

    The possum escapes, into the night, along with my dignity. And as I slam the door shut, I can't help but think, that that possum and I are going to tangle again, someday - and next time, by God, I'll be wearing a belt.

    "No day is so bad, it can't be fixed with a nap." - Carrie Snow

  2. #2
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    All possum hunters wear www.suspenders.com

    Webmaster Mike

    "Anyone can make a dollar, it is when you make sense that it starts to add up."...does your eBiz plan make sense?

  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador affiliatemakeover's Avatar
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    Now that is funny. Great imagery, great details, great writing.

    I laughed my ass off. Happy holidays!

    "I want to make you more money with a professional and low cost web design. Let's chat."

  4. #4
    Domain Addict / Formerly known as elbowcreek Thomas A. Rice's Avatar
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    Ah,hahahaha, alright already, I'll put a doggone page up, lol. Heck, maybe I'll even post this story on the page, as an example of why they need suspenders.

    "No day is so bad, it can't be fixed with a nap." - Carrie Snow

  5. #5
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    If you rig the suspenders to a fork in a tree you can use them as a possum slingshot. Send the buggers into the next county as a lesson to all the catfood bandits.

    Webmaster Mike

    "Anyone can make a dollar, it is when you make sense that it starts to add up."...does your eBiz plan make sense?

  6. #6
    Defender of Truth, Justice and the Affiliate Way
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    ROFL EC! At least your possum didn't decide to stealth into the garage and nest behind a freezer giving birth to it's litter. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif[/img] I will not go into the details of how my father had to remedy that situation, since it might offend some here.

    Those poor animals have got to be one of the most hideous looking creatures and it would seem a very cruel joke on them by Mother nature. Add the fact that they have a brain about the size of a pea and are prone to carrying such nasty diseases as rabies, it really seems they were given the short end of the stick.

    But you should keep a close eye out. At least around here, where there is a possum, there is usually an amardillo too. Another animal Mother Nature was apparently having a joke with. Carefully inspection of your yard may be warranted. Nothing like stepping in an amardillo hole after they have been burrowing through your yard. It can be enough to break your leg. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif[/img]

    Keep Your Hands Off My Cookies

  7. #7
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    Funny funny story! LMAO
    Cazzie

  8. #8
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Heck, maybe I'll even post this story on the page, as an example of why they need suspenders. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    C*ntent lover that I am, I think that's a great idea! Or, maybe link to the content from the product page: Read this important statement about why you need a good pair of suspenders!

    The visual was just incredible as I was reading - especially considering that the only image I have of what you look like is your icon!!

    J

  9. #9
    Content $ Queen Ebudae's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BLFH:

    Those poor animals have got to be one of the most hideous looking creatures and it would seem a very cruel joke on them by Mother nature. Add the fact that they have a brain about the size of a pea and are prone to carrying such nasty diseases as rabies, it really seems they were given the short end of the stick.

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Possums do NOT carry or get rabies. Their internal temp is too low. Here at Baylor University in conjunction with Texas A&M they have done many studies on opossums regarding rabies and this was the result of the study. (as told to me by my Wildlife Vet who works with A&M)

    In fact they a relativity disease free, unlike your family pets.

    The have an almost incredible ability to heal themselves when wounded. Another source for study as to how this can benefit man.

    Opossums in fact do much good and you are truly blessed if you have one in residence. They help to keep snakes out of the yard, slugs out of your garden and mice out of your house.

    Yes, adult opossums are ugly, but the babies are really cute with big Mickey Mouse ears. They do have poor eyesight and almost no defense if attacked, hence "playing possum" or hissing and drooling. (I'm ugly and drooling, leave me alone -lol)

    If you should get one in a trash can or some other place you would rather not have them (like the garage) - the best thing to do is put the dogs in (to keep things quiet so they will leave) and to flip the can on the side or leave the garage door open, they will leave as soon as things quiet down.

    They are the only marsupial of North America. Please bear in mind - you invaded their territory, not the other way around. Learn to have respect for all creatures, they are here for a purpose.

    Vicki
    Texas Wildlife Rehab and Education

    But if the arrow is straight and the point is slick,
    It can pierce through dust no matter how thick. dylan

  10. #10
    Content $ Queen Ebudae's Avatar
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    I will also add they they are protected in most states by Wildlife Laws and it is illegle to harm them.

    Vicki

    But if the arrow is straight and the point is slick,
    It can pierce through dust no matter how thick. dylan

  11. #11
    Super Sh!t Stirrer SSanf's Avatar
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    Is it OK if we laugh at them? They always make me point and giggle.

    The Wolf Credo: Respect the elders. Teach the young. Cooperate with the pack. Play when you can. Hunt when you must. Rest in between. Share your affections. Voice your feelings. Leave your mark.

  12. #12
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    Awww! Now I feel badly that one cat I had actually killed a baby possum! (Actually she killed a lot of things and I spent a lot of time feeling bad. But she was a fierce outdoor hunter all her life and refused to ever be a sedate, indoor cat... this in spite of the fact that she was a longhaired calico with a face like a Disney character. Except for the possum and the occasional bird, however, she generally did eat her kill, which sort of made her the Ted Nugent of Silverlake. Squirrels, mice and most birds she'd consume - completely. Occasionally I'd find a pair of bird feet on the steps... yeeechh! I'm still grossed out by it all! Glad all my cats now are indoor cats, and their biggest prey is a moth or a small beetle.)

    J

  13. #13
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    Hehe that is hilarious, the thing proberbly would of curled over if it had seen me in my draws.

    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>I will also add they they are protected in most states by Wildlife Laws and it is illegle to harm them<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Here in new Zealand it should be a law not to kill them. I have great memories of going possum wacking as a teen.http://www.fromnz.co.nz/possum_article.htm.

  14. #14
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    Guess I won't be sending Vicki to my hunting pages

    Funny story EC, I was thinking same as mike was but he beat everyone to it about the suspenders.
    WW

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  15. #15
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    What the heck is a "hog cane"? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img]

    All around the mulberry bush the monkey chased the weasel

  16. #16
    2005 Linkshare Golden Link Award Winner  ecomcity's Avatar
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    Laws against killing them? Jeez in La and Texas the only posums and armadellos you see are belly up on the roadways. The must train themselves to attack SUVs or they just insist on playing the chicken crossed the street game. Don't worry Elbowcreek our tax dollars caught up to the bugger.


    Webmaster Mike

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  17. #17
    Content $ Queen Ebudae's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by walleye warrior:
    Guess I won't be sending Vicki to my hunting pages

    Funny story EC...
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Actually, I don't have a problem with most hunters, if they eat what they kill. Since we have reduced the numbers of predators, we need hunters to keep a balance. And most hunters that I know have great respect for wildlife.

    And it was a cute story Elbow, didn't mean to say otherwise! Just felt a need to let folks know that possums won't hurt you and don't carry diseases.

    Vicki [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

    But if the arrow is straight and the point is slick,
    It can pierce through dust no matter how thick. dylan

  18. #18
    Defender of Truth, Justice and the Affiliate Way
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    Vicki,

    Guess I got that from a childhood memory when there was a case in our area. Glad to hear that it is not a common occurrance. It was a big stink because they found one in the wild that had already died with rabies. Then about a year or so later, once decided to nest in our utility room behind our freezer. Probably why my parents freaked out so bad. Worried about the 4 kids.

    But isn't it so funny how we react to wild animals, no matter how small or unharmful to us.

    EC at least it wasn't a skunk! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

    And I can't resist sharing this story my Mom told me on the phone last night. A couple of blocks up the street from my Mom's house there is a pond that is owned by the city. It's on the same property the baseball field for the Little League games. Several years ago, someone dropped off a couple of ducks there. Over time the ducks have multiplied. My stepdad took to going down there and feeding them and generally keeping an eye out for them. (There was a brief period where they were mysteriously disappearing, apparently ending up as someone's supper. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif[/img] ). After he retired, the city make him "Duck Deputy." Over the last few years, he's help build the duck population up, made them nesting houses, chased off predators, nursed some babies that lost their mom and returned them when grown, etc. Recently a few geese have decided to join the crew. But being bolder than the ducks, they tend to roam a bit.

    Now this isn't out in the country or anything. It's in a subdivision. Well the ducks cut through the woods behind the pound and venture about other parts of the neighborhood. My Mom was heading to work the other day, which is just around the corner from her house on a street behind those woods. All of a sudden she hears this terrible noise and out runs 2 geese honking and squawking like you wouldn't believe. She slows down because it looks like they are heading for the street. They come running (as fast as one can run when you waddle) directly for her car, wings flapping, hissing and honking, necks held hide and beaks forward. They ran directly in front of her car and started attacking her front wheels! They were pecking all over the front of her car. She was brought to a complete standstill in the middle of the street and no amount of honking her car horn would deter them. Finally, another car came down the opposite side of the street, and the geese gave chase to it, so she was able to continue on to work.

    She says that this has become a common occurrence with either her car or someone elses being attacked by the geese. You'll see a car stopped dead in the middle of the street with these two geese ferociously pecking at the tires and the owner of the car just laughing. I'd hate to be walking down that street when those geese get going!

    Keep Your Hands Off My Cookies

  19. #19
    ABW Ambassador Radegast's Avatar
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    elbowcreek

    that's a beautiful story! Great writing.

    Don't get many marsupials in sunny Hertfordshire...

    Radegast
    diamonds-are-forever.org

  20. #20
    ABW Ambassador Radegast's Avatar
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    BLFH

    no marsupials, but quite a few geese.
    They can be aggressive, but I've never seen them attacking cars in the street......
    wonder what they were protecting?

    Radegast
    diamonds-are-forever.org

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