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  1. #1
    Newbie KristenG's Avatar
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    August 14th, 2006
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    Zen Sarcasm
    ZEN SARCASM

    1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I
    may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me
    alone.

    2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky
    tire.

    3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
    neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

    4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

    5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

    6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

    7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car
    payments.

    8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
    That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their
    shoes.

    9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

    10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and
    he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

    11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably
    worth it.

    12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

    13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

    14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

    15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it
    back in your pocket.

    16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

    17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and
    it holds the universe together.

    1 8. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

    19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

    20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

    21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

    22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
    the same night.

  2. #2
    http and a telephoto
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
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    NYC
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    17,708
    21. priceless
    22. ROFLMAO
    Deborah Carney
    TeamLoxly.com BookGoodies.com ABCsPlus.com

  3. #3
    The Seal of Aproval rematt's Avatar
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    November 19th, 2006
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    The Windy City
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    14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
    Hang around here a while longer .

    -rematt
    "I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." - Richard Nixon

  4. #4
    Newbie KristenG's Avatar
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    August 14th, 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by rematt
    14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
    Hang around here a while longer .

    -rematt
    I figure you guys must be my kind of normal.....that is why I have been lurking for so long.

  5. #5
    Affiliate Manager BeachBDM's Avatar
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    December 29th, 2006
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    Port Hueneme, CA
    Posts
    571
    Welcome out of Lurkdom KristenG!

    Sandee
    Sandra Martin
    sandeebottom at hotmail.com

  6. #6
    The Seal of Aproval rematt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KristenG
    I figure you guys must be my kind of normal.....that is why I have been lurking for so long.
    I would describe us more as "Nermal".

    Nermal

    Main Entry: 1ner·mal
    Pronunciation: 'ner-m&l
    Function: adjective
    Etymology: Latin nermalis, from nerma
    4 a : of, relating to, or characterized by above average intelligence or development b : not entirely free from mental disorder :
    In other words, not quite "normal".

    -rematt
    "I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." - Richard Nixon

  7. #7
    Newbie KristenG's Avatar
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    August 14th, 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by rematt
    I would describe us more as "Nermal".

    In other words, not quite "normal".

    -rematt
    LOL...Sounds about right.

    Thank you for the warm welcome Sandee.

    I have actually come in and out of lurkdom. I just can't quite remember when I first joined. I was a ABWer before Haiko changed the boards...and afterward I had the Jan 2005 designation. Then last year I changed my name again, because I wanted to use the name I was using for the name of a website...so I thought I would go with my real name.

    <sigh> I think what I was trying trying to say is that ...I have been in and out of lurkdom for quite a long time.

    I guess if ABW is a family, I am like the secret love child of your creepy Uncle...the product of an affair back in '70. I had heard all about you...but you didn't know me.

    SURPRISE!

    hehe

    Kristen

  8. #8
    Member
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    June 6th, 2007
    Posts
    106
    Hillarious

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