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  1. #1
    CPA Network Rep Jon@Fluxads's Avatar
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    Thumbs up 10 Sales & Marketing Tips
    These are pretty funny...and true!

    Sales Technique #1 - Give them something for nothing
    One of the first things a stripper will do is come up to you and flirt with you. She will likely sit on your lap or do something to raise your excitement level. For this, you have to do nothing. But you do get a sample of the service and if it is a good one, your chances of buying the service increases. This also applies to the dances they do on the stage.

    Sales Technique #2 - Understand your customers
    Strippers get to know their customers by asking questions. This allows them to develop a rapport and tailor the sales pitch.

    Sales Technique #3 - Tailor the Sales Pitch
    Strippers will try different sales pitches to different people based on what she thinks they like. "I like to get dirty" or "Have you seen my great ass?" or "My tits are real". Each pitch may be the one thing that converts the potential customer into a buyer. (Pointing out a tight ass works well for me). And she revises her pitch based on experience.

    Sales Technique #4 - Make sure you are selling a great product/service
    She knows she has to have a great product. If she put on 30 pounds or hadn't showered for the past 4 days, she would likely not get as many customers. Regardless of how great of a salesperson you are, you can't do much with a crappy product/service.

    Sales Technique #5 - Provide Good Customer Service
    She will make sure you are happy on your first dance or she won't get repeat business or won't be able to do what she ultimately set out to do.Upsell.

    Sales Technique #6 - Upsell
    She sells the customer on a relatively cheap service, a lapdance, but then markets her other services to them. She tries to get them to the "champagne room" and sell an upgraded service, which is where the money is at. However, without the first sale, she would never get the larger sale. Customer acquisition is tough. Once she does it, she needs to get as much business as she can.

    Sales Technique #7 - Closing Techniques
    She will use a variety of closing techniques to get you to buy her services. There are a variety of closing techniques, but two popular ones used by strippers are the compliment close (usually flirting with you) and companion close (getting your buddies to push you into closing the deal).

    Sales Technique #8 - Target your audience
    Strippers market to individuals that are interested in her service. First, she works in a strip club where guys go specifically for her service, that is obvious. But she also knows which guys to go after within a group or which groups will likely spend the most money. Spending time with cheap-asses only wanting to pay a dollar for a dance will not be a wise use of he precious time.

    Sales Technique #9 - Persistence
    Even though the audience is qualified, she knows she will get rejections. Even so, she will go up to every guy and ask if they need a lap dance. She also knows that the more guys she asks, the more yes's she will get.

    Sales Technique #10 - Branding
    I don't know any strippers that are named Ethel, Mildred or Agnus. Instead, you will get the pleasure to do business with Cookie, Destiny, Candy, or Raven.
    Last edited by Trust; September 27th, 2007 at 03:19 PM.
    [B]Jon Lyons[/B]
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  2. #2
    CPA Network Rep
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    HaHa good post Jon!

    Some very true things in there...

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  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador
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    she also knows which guys to go after within a group or which groups will likely spend the most money. Spending time with cheap-asses only wanting to pay a dollar for a dance will not be a wise use of he precious time.
    Affiliate marketer translation:

    Know which merchants or product lines will likely earn the most money. Spending time on cheap-ass merchants wanting only to give 0.001 return days or pay 53-cents commission on low ticket items will not be a wise use of precious time.

  4. #4
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    Good thread!
    And you have used a nice, creative example

  5. #5
    ABW Veteran Mr. Sal's Avatar
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    10 Sales & Marketing Tips

    Sales Technique #10 - Branding
    I don't know any strippers that are named Ethel, Mildred or Agnus. Instead, you will get the pleasure to do business with Cookie, Destiny, Candy, or Raven.
    And just like in affiliate marketing........

    Those two keywords Brandingand Cookie, may triger a mental image of things to come to some of those strippers that are too new to the pole.

    Para-pimps!




    So.......

    The Ethel, Mildred, and Agnus of the pole, must beware on who they do those cheap first lap-dancing before it's too late for they reputation.


  6. #6
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    #3 - Sales Pitch - That definitely applies... you can't pitch it the same way to everybody.


    #9 Persistence - I totally agree. It's a numbers game, the more people hear about your product, service or idea.. the more likely it becomes that someone will take the desired action.

  7. #7
    Moderator MichaelColey's Avatar
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    I know it's meant primarily as a joke, but there are actually some fairly good tips there.
    Michael Coley
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  8. #8
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    Pretty funny and very true!

  9. #9
    ABW Ambassador danay's Avatar
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    hahahahah! nice one.
    Danay @ LunaSolMedia.com
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  10. #10
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    perfect! LOL
    Peace,

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  11. #11
    Newbie E111ena's Avatar
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    lols, oh so true...maybe this will do the trick when Im training my call centers

  12. #12
    notary sojac Herb ԿԬ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Sal
    And just like in affiliate marketing........

    The Ethel, Mildred, and Agnus of the pole, must beware on who they do those cheap first lap-dancing before it's too late for they reputation.

    si!

  13. #13
    Newbie Rolet's Avatar
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    what a great analogy and so true.....

    this was worth the read and the email I sent to my friends linking to this thread...

  14. #14
    Member $Cleopatra$'s Avatar
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    That is awesome the examples you gave, not only were they great tips, but I got some great chuckles with how closely they come to comparison.

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