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  1. #1
    Staril - Mad Cat Woman Sue's Avatar
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    December 12th, 2005
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    Smile You know you're Swiss if ...
    1. you complain if your bus/train/tram is more than 5 minutes late. Make that 1 minute
    2. you've ever been confused with a Swede
    3. you laugh when Americans believe that Swiss Miss is a Swiss product, but then have no clue that Nestlé and Rolex ARE
    4. you get frustrated if you go grocery shopping abroad and there aren't at least 10 different kinds of chocolate and 15 kinds of cheese available
    5. you have learned three to four languages and think this is completely normal
    6. you have ever been asked - upon stating your nationality - whether you live in the mountains and whether you can yodel
    7. you can pronounce "Chuchichäschtli" and you know what it means
    8. you have ever been asked who the president of Switzerland is and then failed miserably trying to explain why you've lost track
    9. you know what "Röschti" are and you have crossed the "Röschtigrabe" at some point
    10. you went to a state-funded ski camp every year with your classmates in high school
    11. to you, skis are like the extensions of your feet, because you've skied since you could walk
    12. you are amused when people ask you what language is spoken in your home country and/or you have to explain that "Swiss" is not a language, that there are four national languages and none of them is called "Swiss"!
    13. you owned a Swatch growing up... or still do
    14. you've ever seen "Sandmännchen" dubbed into Romansch
    15. as a female, you give all your friends three kisses on the cheeks as a greeting
    16. you love Migros and you swear that some of their products are better than anything you've ever seen elsewhere
    17. you've ever been asked by your non-Swiss friends to intervene in a fight and used "hey, I'm Swiss" as an excuse not to
    18. your country has six different public television channels in three different languages - and you don't think this is unusual
    19. you get amused when you see Swiss German people being subtitled on German television
    20. you firmly believe it is more important to do things accurately than to do them quickly
    21. you were legally allowed to drink beer and wine at the age of sixteen
    22. you walked to kindergarten without supervision, wearing a large orange triangle around your neck
    23. you think it's normal that everyone has a bunker underneath their house, or is registered for one of the public bunkers under the school building, for emergency situations... by the way, here's a fun thing to do: invite over some of your foreign friends (Americans make very good candidates) and take a picture of the look on their face when they SEE the bunker. Priceless!
    24. when being asked to explain how certain things work in your country, you have to use the phrase "it differs for each canton, so..."
    25. you are asked to vote on a "Referendum" or "Initiative" at least 3 or 4 times a year
    26. you are used to drinking from any public fountain in the street unless there is a warning sign that says "no drinking water"
    27. you grew up believing all cows must wear bells
    28. you think that driving somewhere for four hours is a hell of a long time
    29. you get slightly irritated or at least confused if your foreign visitors ask to see a chocolate factory
    30. you know what Betty Bossi books and products are and have bought one
    31. you know someone that collects the tin foil lids from coffee cream tubs
    32. you don't see where the problem is when every male citizen who has been to the army has an assault rifle under his bed
    33. you have to pay twice the price for museum entries because you're not a citizen of the EU, although you live in Europe!
    34. you are in a non-European country and can hear people talking Swiss German and just go up and strike up a conversation with a complete stranger
    35. no matter how much of a "bad-ass" you think you are, you will still pick up your candy wrapper off the floor if an old lady asks you too
    36. you think everything is cheap abroad compared to Swiss prices!

  2. #2
    Resident Genius and Staunch Capitalist Leader's Avatar
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    20. you firmly believe it is more important to do things accurately than to do them quickly

    I must recheck my family tree--there must be some Swiss hiding in there that I'm not aware of! This hits on one of my greatest peeves:

    I'm American, but the other Americans aggravate the hell out of me by insisting on doing things hastily and half-*ssedly!! 100 badly-done parts < 1 properly done one!

    And speed-crazed Americans are always bothered by my insistence on the above point. As if speed of production will make the laws of physics change, and turn their barely-staying-connected POS they assembled into a sturdy and well-made thing. GAAHHHH!!!


    3. you laugh when Americans believe that Swiss Miss is a Swiss product, but then have no clue that Nestlé and Rolex ARE


    I didn't know about Rolex and Nestle (although I knew that Nestle was based somewhere in Europe), but I NEVER for a minute would have blamed the Swiss for the monstrosity that is "Swiss" Miss.

    1. you complain if your bus/train/tram is more than 5 minutes late. Make that 1 minute
    This clashes badly with point #20

    Slightly-late scheduled services are only bad until you're the one who'd be chasing the bus. Then it's GREAT!

  3. #3
    Staril - Mad Cat Woman Sue's Avatar
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    December 12th, 2005
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    Ah ... but the tram being on time is accurate ... if it was too quick it would leave the stop early and that would never do They actually will sit and wait at a stop if they have been going too quickly and then leave at the correct time.

  4. #4
    Member lookingfortips's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Staril
    2. you've ever been confused with a Swede
    LOL... It's the opposite for me. My family on my father's side are all Swedish immigrants. As soon as someone finds this out, I typically hear the Swiss Miss and Heidi jokes. Ya, ok. Wrong country, Pal.

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