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January 3rd, 2008, 08:14 AM #1
Unavoidable Laws of the Universe
- Join Date
- June 6th, 2007
These are the unavoidable laws of the natural universe...
1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of the Tele When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time).
7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.
15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
19. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
January 3rd, 2008, 08:29 AM #2
I decide when the pigs fly!
- Join Date
- January 18th, 2005
- New York, USA
Too true, so sad!!!
Here are some of mine:
Dog Rules: As soon as you let the dogs out the UPS truck will pull into your driveway.
Law of Replacement Parts: As soon as you need to replace a filter in a small appliance the manufacturer will cease making the part.
Snow Law: As soon as you finish shoveling the front walk the wind will pick up and snow falling from the roof will cover the newly shoveled area.
I don't get no respect, neither. :sniffle:
January 3rd, 2008, 08:40 AM #3
Except for numbers 5 and 13, I can definitely say, "Been there, done that." (Well, maybe not an open-face jelly sandwich - but any messy food can fill that description...)
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