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  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    June 6th, 2007
    Posts
    106
    Unavoidable Laws of the Universe
    These are the unavoidable laws of the natural universe...

    1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

    2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

    3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

    4. Law of the Tele When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

    5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

    6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time).

    7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

    8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

    9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

    10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

    12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

    13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

    14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.

    15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

    16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

    17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

    18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    19. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

  2. #2
    Troll Killer and best Snooper!
    I decide when the pigs fly!
    Rhea's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 18th, 2005
    Location
    New York, USA
    Posts
    6,195
    Too true, so sad!!!

    Here are some of mine:

    Dog Rules: As soon as you let the dogs out the UPS truck will pull into your driveway.

    Law of Replacement Parts: As soon as you need to replace a filter in a small appliance the manufacturer will cease making the part.

    Snow Law: As soon as you finish shoveling the front walk the wind will pick up and snow falling from the roof will cover the newly shoveled area.

    I don't get no respect, neither. :sniffle:

  3. #3
    Beachy Bill's Avatar
    Join Date
    November 20th, 2005
    Posts
    8,266
    Except for numbers 5 and 13, I can definitely say, "Been there, done that." (Well, maybe not an open-face jelly sandwich - but any messy food can fill that description...)
    Bill / Marketing Blog @ 12PM - Current project: Resurrecting my "baby" at South Baltimore..
    Cute Personal Checks and Business Checks
    If you are too busy to laugh you are too busy.

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