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  1. #1
    Best New ABW Member 2007 sfcom's Avatar
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    Childcare---a sometimes necessary affiliate tool?
    Every week I ask myself the same thing...

    How much more money would I be making if I would just put the kids in daycare?

    My wife and I have 2 children. Our girl just turned 5 and our son is about to turn 2. I have stayed at home with them from the beginning and really, really want to see it through until both of them reach kindergarten. (Our girl will go 1/2 days this fall )

    We don't "outsource" our house cleaning or other chores, so that takes even more of a bite out of the workday. With the grandparents local (2 hour drive), but not next door...it doesn't create many opportunities for the house to be without the kids here.

    Guess that one of the things I think about most is their college funds. I had to pay (and am still paying) for my own post-secondary education and I don't want them to have the hassle of this also.

    Is there anyone else out there who is sending the kids to daycare while working as an affiliate full-time?

    Oh sometimes I dream of the days where I would have the ability to sit at the computer, undisturbed, for a period of 10 min.

    I care very much for them...and when I started out on this quest 5 years ago, my opinion was concrete. I felt that in a two parent household, if one parent can afford to stay at home with the kids then they should do so. After all, they are your kids... Now my concrete feelings seem to be changing.

    Please help.

    -sfcom


  2. #2
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    Well, I've got a 2 year old daughter and another on the way. We tried to save money and keep the daughter home part-time. It was very stressful. Finally, we got her into a daycare down the street with real teachers and activities. It was better for her and for me. I can't say I enjoy paying the $115 a week we pay BUT my income tripled last year and I attribute that partially to being able to concentrate.

  3. #3
    ABW Ambassador Daniel M. Clark's Avatar
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    I think you should look into daycare options, and here's why - you've thought about it to the point where you felt you could come here and ask for other people's opinions about it, and you've explained your reasoning in a very detailed way. In my experience, that means you probably know what the answer is, and you're just hoping for agreement

    I've got a two year old myself, and although she's not in daycare, it's only because my wife also works at home, so there's little need for it. My "office" is my laptop in my living room, so it's not like my daughter needs to come find me in another room, you know? She'll play and read and whatnot in the living room with me while I work on the laptop. The best thing is that very rarely am I doing anything that can't be put off for a while if she wants my full attention. Plus, there's always evenings, after she goes to bed.

    But that might not work for everyone. You know your own situation better than anyone

  4. #4
    Best New ABW Member 2007 sfcom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HecticDMC
    I think you should look into daycare options, and here's why - you've thought about it to the point where you felt you could come here and ask for other people's opinions about it, and you've explained your reasoning in a very detailed way. In my experience, that means you probably know what the answer is, and you're just hoping for agreement
    Not really. I was just hoping for insight into other ABW'ers that are in a similar scenario.

    I figured that I had made it this far...so I can make it another 3 years if needed. Regardless, the one child going to 1/2 day kindergarten this fall will help somewhat.

    Thanks everyone for your input so far.

    -sfcom


  5. #5
    Life is Supposed to be Fun! Rexanne's Avatar
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    SFcom - I have worked from home (even before affiliate marketing) since both my daughters were born and I don't think I could have coped with being a full time mommy without help when they were that young.

    I did have a nanny come in everyday when my older daughter was little. Being home was great because I was always there, just not 100% responsible for her care and the nanny took her for walks, to the park etc, fed her, put her down for naps, etc. If my daughter was sick, I sent the nanny home and took care of her myself. As soon as she was old enough (3), she went to preschool half days and I was able to get my work done while she was there. She loved preschool and thrived. My younger daughter hated preschool so I pulled her out and kept her home (without a nanny) for another year until I found a preschool she loved and where she was happy.

    I think you absolutely need to get some kind of help with the kids. I don't necessarily believe that routine daycare is the answer. Maybe hire a baby sitter (a teenager or an older woman) to come in half a day, a few days a week, to entertain the kids, take them outside so you can focus and have a chance to think straight. Your older daughter can go to preschool, which is a better option than daycare where they have to take care of babies , change diapers, etc. Preschool is lots of fun for 3 to 5 year-olds, teaches them to be social, educates them to be ready for kindergarten and generally is a fun and healthy place (other than all the germs LOL) for little ones. Daycare is touchy. It can either be a blessing or a nightmare and day care isn't set up to interact with kids, mostly to keep them quiet and controlled while babies sleep.

    I think a parent being home with children is ideal and I know it's better for children but if you're stressed outta your mind and need to focus on work, that's not good for them or you.

    Put an ad in the paper and interview prospective baby sitters. I suggest getting references and checking DMV records, etc. A good baby sitter is a God send. Your kids will be happy, you'll be happy and you're employing someone which is tax deductible. Win/win :-)
    Peace,

    Rexanne

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  6. #6
    ABW Ambassador JudiMoore's Avatar
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    You could probably find a 1/2 day situation for just 2 days a week and try that. If you're determined to actually work during that time, you can get a feel for whether or not you actually need another 1/2 day of uninterrupted concentration or if that's enough to balance the cost/benefit.

    Many years ago I learned from a group of very successful business women that you could double and sometimes triple your income by the mere addition of a 1 day a week cleaning person. That action removes one huge interruption of your concentration and allows you to focus on the important stuff. You might decide that you could add housekeeping help and not extra childcare and still do better money-wise.

    It's always possible to give your business distracted attention while the kids are right there and save your heavy thinking for a couple of hours in the evening after they go to bed.

    You're right (IMO) to try and keep your children under your influence as much as possible in their early years. But you can combine the focus the way you're doing now and still succeed. It just takes that split-second timing and some help.

  7. #7
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    As far as nanny/babysitter, I was just taking a look at a Performics merchant the other day, Care.com, looked pretty good.

  8. #8
    Best New ABW Member 2007 sfcom's Avatar
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    Probably should have noted that my oldest is in preschool for 2.5 hours 2x/week. Not much, but it is at the high school and she loves learning from the "big helpers".

    -sfcom


  9. #9
    Visual Artist & ABW Ambassador lostdeviant's Avatar
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    Perhaps it would be cheaper to pay for someone to go to your home once or twice a week to clean and wash clothes instead of sending the kids to daycare?

  10. #10
    What's the word? Rhia7's Avatar
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    I don't know what your situation is like, but live-in help can work.

    My cousins were raised with the help of different "Au pairs."

    Here's the definition of Au pair in Wikipedia:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Au_pair

    The ones who helped raise my cousins were not "required to complete an educational component of six semester hours of academic credit or its equivalent" (as stipulated by Wikipedia).
    I remember two were older women: one from Russia and one from Portugal; then there were two about my age (I remember going out to nightclubs with them -- they had permission) from Ireland. I'm not sure how my aunt found them, but I was close to them all even though they were being paid to take care of my cousins and most of their attention was given to my cousins. These women lived in my aunt & uncle's house during the year and then during the summer they lived with my Grandmother (I lived with her too) and were treated like members of the family -- they were not treated like servants.

    It's not always easy to live with a person from another country especially if language and customs are an obstacle. You also need some type of contract that explicitly defines duties, expectations, payment, and available free time etc...
    ~Rhia7 -- Remember the 7
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  11. #11
    Best New ABW Member 2007 sfcom's Avatar
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    The one part of it that I find extremely exhausting is trying to put 100% into a website, idea, whatever... and having it fragmented by the 100s of things that the kids need each day. When my wife gets home, I try to hand the kids over to her and go into my office and "get some work done", but often times I am too worn out after the day to be very productive.

    Good thing our 10 year anniversary is this year. I need to get away somewhere and just relax some.

    -sfcom


  12. #12
    What's the word? Rhia7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sfcom
    The one part of it that I find extremely exhausting is trying to put 100% into a website, idea, whatever... and having it fragmented by the 100s of things that the kids need each day.
    That's where a good/reliable baby sitter can come to the rescue -- but you need to pay for good help.
    ~Rhia7 -- Remember the 7
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  13. #13
    Affiliate Manager guinness618's Avatar
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    Does anyone know if these kind of services (childcare and housecleaning) might be tax deductible for someone who works from a home office? If I can take the cleaning/maintenance of my rented office off taxes, why not a home office? And childcare as a business expense?

  14. #14
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    If you're currently able to do that with your rented office, good possibility you can with your home office. I would ask your accountant, if you have one, to be sure.

  15. #15
    ABW Ambassador Daniel M. Clark's Avatar
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    My wife deducts her home office every year. Saves us a good amount of money. In fact, we're able to deduct a percentage of our utilities as well since they support the home office. Definitely consult a professional though, because how much you can deduct may (probably will) vary by location.

  16. #16
    What's the word? Rhia7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by guinness618
    Does anyone know if these kind of services (childcare and housecleaning) might be tax deductible for someone who works from a home office? If I can take the cleaning/maintenance of my rented office off taxes, why not a home office? And childcare as a business expense?
    You might want to read the following:

    http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/Taxes/P82382.asp

    http://ineedamaid.com/blog/2007/12/m...nting-101.html

    Also some childcare minders and some house cleaners prefer to be paid off the books.
    ~Rhia7 -- Remember the 7
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  17. #17
    The slot machine that IS paid! Billy Kay's Avatar
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    sfcom

    I specifically got into this biz so that my son would NOT be raised by daycare

    Was it tuff? Who knows!

    Were there trade-offs? Lots!

    Were there regrets.... NO

    My son turned 14 today, and because I chose to work from home, I watched him grow and was part of every day of his life. people who know us, know we have one hec of a special relationship.

    While you may - or may not - make more money with daycare, you will loose out on countless special moments, which add up over time - that you can't put a pricetag on.

    And when you're old and sitting on your rocking chair... will you be thinking about money... or life's precious moments.

  18. #18
    ABW Ambassador bettylou's Avatar
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    Hi sfcom,

    I am a work at home mom of a 6 and 4 year old. Just like Billy Kay, I quit my job and starting working at home the day my oldest was born so there would be no daycare. I have absolutely zero regrets about that.

    These days in their lives are so important. No amount of money will ever be able to buy them back. At the end of the day, you think about the funny thing they did or the way they know that they are the most important thing in your life, not about that $5 you lost because you didn't get that affiliate link on your site yet.

  19. #19
    ABW Ambassador danay's Avatar
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    sfcom,

    If you are feeling desperation because you cannot seem to concentrate or finish tasks, it's OK to get help. My youngest benefitted from me being at home when he was little 3 days out of the week and the other 2 I was at my office. I was blessed to have a husband and mom with very flexible schedules to help out the 2 days I was not home and even when I was home with him.

    There were many days when concentrating with a toddler/baby in the house was almost impossible for me and made me even more stressed out than being at the office.

    I would never give up having been home most of the time, but I did it on my own terms and how I felt I could support my family, my career and most importantly my precious kids.

    Figure out what is going to work for you AND your family and do it. Nanny, Au Pair, Babysitter, part-time daycare, whatever.

    Your family deserves a happy wife/mom
    Danay @ LunaSolMedia.com
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  20. #20
    The slot machine that IS paid! Billy Kay's Avatar
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    I was blessed to have a husband and mom with very flexible schedules to help out the 2 days I was not home and even when I was home with him.
    dang danay! i said i had no regrets - but i did have envy!!

    since jesse was adopted, he had no family i could call to help out. my parents died years ago, so he had no grandparents to pitch in.

    so my "selfish" regret is that we didn't have family to pawn him off on when I needed a day off! oh well, we're all dealt a different hand.

    on the bright side... he knows everyone in the industry!! since he has to come along to all the conventions. he gets christmas cards from merchants - lolol

  21. #21
    ABW Ambassador danay's Avatar
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    hehehe, yeah, I thank God, the cosmos, and my lucky stars for that help.

    I've always been a multitasker, workaholic to the tee, but that little bugger got the best of me . It's no wonder they are so darned cute.


    sfcom, I forgot to mention.....don't do it for the money unless it's a necessity.

    Do it because you've found something that fulfills you and makes you WANT to work.
    Danay @ LunaSolMedia.com
    Global Perfomance Marketing. Global Niche Markets = Opportunity!
    HispanicYa!|MallFreebies

    I dwell in possibility. ~Emily Dickinson

  22. #22
    Affiliate/AM Moonlighter dflsports's Avatar
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    I've been at home with my kids for over 8 years now. I find most my productive time happens later in the evening.

    How much money do you really need?

    I'm lucky enough that when this business is not working so well for me, my wife makes enough for us to pay all our bills but that migvht not be the same in your situation.

    Is your 5 year old going off to kindergarden next year? You may only have to wait til them to get some more time to do work. You might find more pre-k hours for your youngest child as well. Currently my oldest is in 3rd grade and my 4 year old is in universal pre-k for 2.5 hours each day. Next year I'll have all day without the kids, hurray

    The way I see it, you'll have plenty of time in a few years to catch up on 529 plans. The kids are only young once. If you need the money, then daycare might be a good option. Make the most of the later evening hours. Take naps during the day when your youngest naps to catch up on a little sleep.

    I run a pretty popular site for stay at home dads and what your feeling now is common. Most of the dads on my site usually last about 2-4 years before they go back to work.

  23. #23
    ABW Ambassador Rehan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sfcom
    Is there anyone else out there who is sending the kids to daycare while working as an affiliate full-time?
    My wife and I have three kids -- ages 7.5, 4.5, and 2. I've been working from home for almost 4 years, and my wife doesn't work ("retired" is the term she prefers )...and still, we send the middle daughter to montessori school for the afternoon 5 days a week. She's actually old enough to go to half-day junior kindergarten in the public school system, but we feel that the private school environment gives her a better experience right now. When the youngest is 3 1/2, we'll probably start her in the montessori school for a few half days per week as well. The oldest is in grade 2, so she's gone from about 8am to 4pm.

    I completely agree that it's important for parents to spend time with their kids when they're young, and raise them to the best of their ability. But at the same time, it can be good for the kids to socialize with other people, in other environments, and when they're not necessarily within your care. It's part of growing up for them, and it's better to expose them to that gradually than all of a sudden.

    Maybe one of the kids from the high school your eldest goes to would be interested in coming over after school a couple times a week to help look after the kids so you can get some work done. A few hours here, a few hours there...it all adds up.

  24. #24
    Best New ABW Member 2007 sfcom's Avatar
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    For those who say: "Money isn't everything"---of course I agree in theory. I came from a very humble background myself, one of five kids to a divorced mom who made $18k/year and received no child support. So, it is possible to get by with less. I believe it is that everyone here just gets used to a certain lifestyle where the majority of their incoming money is spent. Our case is no different. About 100% of my wife's salary is spent on the monthly bills. My earnings are the only reserves.

    But, consider the following scenario: My wife got released from her job of almost 10 years during this past summer with 2 days notice. Luckily, she was able to gain employment elsewhere within a week, but that is extremely lucky in the mortgage business right now. It was a scary time for us indeed. To have a little more reserves from me working more and more efficiently would have been comforting.

    We have earned everything we own and nothing was "given" to us by parents, grandparents, etc. We have some in savings, but most was depleted by our housing purchase (which thankfully worked out) this past fall. We don't go out to eat at restaurants frequently, we grocery shop with coupons, and don't have any personal vices that cut into the finances (smoke, drink, etc...)

    Now, how about the money... I am not judging the others here, but just want you to know my scenario exactly. It's not really like---"Hey, I just want these kids outta here. Where is MY time?" But, instead it is looking at the current earnings power=future earnings potential.

    I am not asking the members here to go into specifics of your situation, but I figured these additional details might help give you a better idea of what situation I am facing.

    Thanks for the replies to this point. I am considering the info contained therein with an open mind.

    -sfcom


  25. #25
    ABW Ambassador Daniel M. Clark's Avatar
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    Your situation mirrors my own in many, many ways. I have fewer kids (only one), but my income is the supplemental while my wife's is the income that pays the bills - usually with a just little bit left over. I see that I was very hasty in my original reply here, and for that, I apologize.

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