176 New Posts Today

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

This is my shirt for Sunday at Affiliate Summit. Thoughts? Stupid? I hope so.

[sunshiner]

Oh, I so want to wear that shirt and stand beside you and just cross of the ".com" LOL

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

Stupid News & Promotions

We've received a lot of feedback from you regarding the customer user experience and wanted to let you know of the following improvements:

• Faster Checkout – We’ve joined with PayPal Express "One Step Checkout"!
• Customers Save $$ - We’ve added an easier Coupon & Gift Certificate
Redemption Section. In fact, customers can buy Gift Certificates in $25, $50, $75, and $100 increments at http://www.stupid.com/fun/gift_card.html
• Higher Conversions – Early results have shown nearly a 10% increase in customer completion of checkout process. This means more commissions!

We're getting ready to have a Crazy Halloween (or Stupid Crazy Halloween). We've been offering Halloween candy since 1998 and have over 100 different types. Some of our best sellers are:

• Scorpion Pops (http://www.stupid.com/fun/SCRP.html)
• Candy Animal Teeth (http://www.stupid.com/fun/ANTF09.html)
• Giant Gummy Bears (http://www.stupid.com/fun/GUMS.html)
• Zombie Blood (http://www.stupid.com/fun/ZMBE.html)

We also have over 200 Halloween costumes with Lindsey Lohan, the MTV Jersey Shore castmates, and Tiger Woods coming at the end of August. Some of our best sellers are:

• Where’s Waldo Costume (http://www.stupid.com/fun/WWLD09.html)
• Banana Costume (http://www.stupid.com/fun/BANAA09.html)

[Bill]

Any witch costumes - er, make that Stupid Witch costumes? I get a lot of "Blair" Witch traffic. (well, not a LOT - couple hundred a day)

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

Originally Posted by Bill

Any witch costumes - er, make that Stupid Witch costumes? I get a lot of "Blair" Witch traffic. (well, not a LOT - couple hundred a day)

Remember these are all stupid. That's why Where's Waldo is our number one seller.

Only one witch makeup kit:

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

Originally Posted by Auction_2_Auction

I TAUGHT MY 3yr OLD Son that he has a PENIS and women have VAGINA'S! It didn't seem stupid to me until one day at Walmart my son, Dusten pointed to an older lady within more then one person's hearing distance and yells with excitement "She is a she and I'm a he! She has a VAGINA and I have a PENIS! SEEeee......! AS HE WHIPS OUT HIS man hood for everyone to see! I was with my friend and I believe my reaction was "Where is your Mother!" and pretended to leave my friend with him!

In my opinion, this is pretty close to being the winner, but I'll put all of them up for a vote at the end of the month.

We have two weeks left, tell me some more stupid stories. Hopefully we won't have any to share from Affiliate Summit....

[Bill]

Originally Posted by Greg Hoffman Consulting

......We have two weeks left, tell me some more stupid stories. Hopefully we won't have any to share from Affiliate Summit....

Aw, man...that's where I figured the "really" good ones would originate.
.

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

We have 8 days left for this contest. Anyone else with a stupid story to share?

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

Last few days of the contest. Give me a few more entries, please! If not I think we already have a winner.

Next contest starts Wednesday.

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

By the way, I now have these two items on my desk, from Stupid.com.

[helpingmoms]

Am I seriously the Stupidest affiliate you have? Because I'm willing to enter another one. This one IS from Affiliate Summit.

One night last week I was dead tired and losing my voice. Everyone was at the trivia thing and I just wanted to fill my belly and get my voice back. I searched forever for the room service menu and finally got so ticked that I called down to the front desk to ask them where the room service menu might be. They said "On the TV." I thought "Duh!" Why didn't I look on there? So I walked over to the tv and got really confused because it was a flat panel television and there was no way that you could balance a menu on top of it.

After a minute or so, I noticed the remote control with the word "menu." Ohhhhhh.... they meant "ON" the tv and I was looking "ON TOP" the tv. Needless to say, I eventually gave up on room service and just walked to the deli.

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

Originally Posted by helpingmoms

Am I seriously the Stupidest affiliate you have? Because I'm willing to enter another one. This one IS from Affiliate Summit.

One night last week I was dead tired and losing my voice. Everyone was at the trivia thing and I just wanted to fill my belly and get my voice back. I searched forever for the room service menu and finally got so ticked that I called down to the front desk to ask them where the room service menu might be. They said "On the TV." I thought "Duh!" Why didn't I look on there? So I walked over to the tv and got really confused because it was a flat panel television and there was no way that you could balance a menu on top of it.

After a minute or so, I noticed the remote control with the word "menu." Ohhhhhh.... they meant "ON" the tv and I was looking "ON TOP" the tv. Needless to say, I eventually gave up on room service and just walked to the deli.

I think the bar was just raised. I thought you were going to say this was when you ate street meat. That place was crazy packed at 2am!

[helpingmoms]

Originally Posted by Greg Hoffman Consulting

I think the bar was just raised. I thought you were going to say this was when you ate street meat. That place was crazy packed at 2am!

I think pouring the "red sauce" all over Street Meat at 2am and then trying to eat it would have to be CINDY'S stupidest contest entry. LOL

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

Originally Posted by helpingmoms

I think pouring the "red sauce" all over Street Meat at 2am and then trying to eat it would have to be CINDY'S stupidest contest entry. LOL

I paid the price the next morning because of that red sauce.

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

Only a few more days before this contest closes. Any last minute stupid.com stupid things entries???

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

Talking with the judges. Down to two contestants. Winner announcement soon.

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

Winners! We have decided to split the $100 prize between Auction_2Auction and helpingmoms. Two truly stupid stories worthy of claiming the Stupid affiliate titles.

Thank you to everyone for participating. Our next contest will be announced soon.

Here are the winning entries from the Stupid contest:

#1

Originally Posted by Auction_2_Auction

I TAUGHT MY 3yr OLD Son that he has a PENIS and women have VAGINA'S! It didn't seem stupid to me until one day at Walmart my son, Dusten pointed to an older lady within more then one person's hearing distance and yells with excitement "She is a she and I'm a he! She has a VAGINA and I have a PENIS! SEEeee......! AS HE WHIPS OUT HIS man hood for everyone to see! I was with my friend and I believe my reaction was "Where is your Mother!" and pretended to leave my friend with him!

#2

Originally Posted by helpingmoms

Am I seriously the Stupidest affiliate you have? Because I'm willing to enter another one. This one IS from Affiliate Summit.

One night last week I was dead tired and losing my voice. Everyone was at the trivia thing and I just wanted to fill my belly and get my voice back. I searched forever for the room service menu and finally got so ticked that I called down to the front desk to ask them where the room service menu might be. They said "On the TV." I thought "Duh!" Why didn't I look on there? So I walked over to the tv and got really confused because it was a flat panel television and there was no way that you could balance a menu on top of it.

After a minute or so, I noticed the remote control with the word "menu." Ohhhhhh.... they meant "ON" the tv and I was looking "ON TOP" the tv. Needless to say, I eventually gave up on room service and just walked to the deli.

[helpingmoms]

Thanks, Greg! For once I've made my momma proud with my Stupid(.com) antics.

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

Stupid bonuses have been awarded in the affiliate accounts.

Who's ready for the next contest?

[Bill]

Yes, it will be good to see a new contest. That last one (first one?) was really stupid.


.

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

Originally Posted by Bill

Yes, it will be good to see a new contest. That last one (first one?) was really stupid.


.

I promise it will not be stupid. It's a little something I picked up at ASE10.