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[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

We have some great clients at Greg Hoffman Consulting and we want to host contests each month to keep affiliates interested and informed.

Each contest might have its own rules so as the thread evolves, we will try to point you to the beginning of the new contest to find our what you need to do.

Who's ready for cash and prizes?

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

First Contest:

It's a Stupid one!



What's the stupidest thing you have ever done?

Chris and I will judge who the winner is and credit your SAS account with $100 at the end of August. If you aren't an affiliate and we deem you are the winner, it's easy to join Stupid.com in ShareAsale.

[Chris Thompson - GHC]

Although I was guilty of this promoting the Stupid Vibrating Massager Heads for Mother's Day...

Please keep the stories PG rated

Regards,
Chris

[MichaelColey]

rm -r * on the wrong server.

[esnagel]

My brother & I used to ride our BMX bikes as fast as we could, then stick our foot where the front tire goes through the wheel fork, causing the front tire to instantly stop and throw the rider off the bike, and the bike flipping along the ground.

We were actually so good at it, that when we flew off the bike, we could land on our feet!

Alas, this was pre-YouTube days (also, pre-helmet days, which may explain a few things)

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

Originally Posted by esnagel

My brother & I used to ride our BMX bikes as fast as we could, then stick our foot where the front tire goes through the wheel fork, causing the front tire to instantly stop and throw the rider off the bike, and the bike flipping along the ground.

We were actually so good at it, that when we flew off the bike, we could land on our feet!

Alas, this was pre-YouTube days (also, pre-helmet days, which may explain a few things)

How did you not break your foot? That is pretty stupid.

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

Originally Posted by MichaelColey

rm -r * on the wrong server.

Thank you for explaining that in a PM to a half nerd.

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

#1 organic search result for Stupid in Google?

Stupid.com

#1 image result for Stupid in Google?

[helpingmoms]

I thought I heard someone outside the house so I set the security system. I accidentally set it with the motion detectors on and, of course, the dog tripped the motion detectors and the alarms in the house all started going off. I freaked out and called the police. I was in an absolute panic, locking myself in my office and hiding behind my desk, until about 2 minutes before they arrived when I all of a sudden realized what I had done. Not surprisingly, I just played dumb when they showed up.

(Now I'm thinking maybe my groundhog experience was the stupidest thing I ever did. Hmm... I'll have to save that one for another contest.)

[davidh]

One night I put a frozen pizza in the oven, and got so involved with work that I forgot about it. A couple hours later the smoke alarm in the kitchen went off.

I opened the windows and cleared the air and put another pizza in the oven. Started working again and forgot again and burnt the hell out of that one too.

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

4 Very good contenders so far. Let's keep them coming. I'll share mine soon, but I have to narrow down the field.

[Jill]

Originally Posted by davidh

One night I put a frozen pizza in the oven, and got so involved with work that I forgot about it. A couple hours later the smoke alarm in the kitchen went off.

I opened the windows and cleared the air and put another pizza in the oven. Started working again and forgot again and burnt the hell out of that one too.

I set a pizza in the delivery JUST delivered on top of the stove, forgetting that the burner had recently been used. Fire! Talk about a well done pizza! And a well done pizza box!

[Jill]

Originally Posted by helpingmoms

I thought I heard someone outside the house so I set the security system. I accidentally set it with the motion detectors on and, of course, the dog tripped the motion detectors and the alarms in the house all started going off. I freaked out and called the police. I was in an absolute panic, locking myself in my office and hiding behind my desk, until about 2 minutes before they arrived when I all of a sudden realized what I had done. Not surprisingly, I just played dumb when they showed up.

(Now I'm thinking maybe my groundhog experience was the stupidest thing I ever did. Hmm... I'll have to save that one for another contest.)

I love this one! Trisha gets my vote so far! I am seriously laughing out loud. Thanks for that, Trisha! I needed it!

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

Here's one from me today. Election night 1996 - Marietta, GA. I was covering one of the biggest races in the country. Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich was facing tough opposition from a savvy businessman. We all new who was going to win and what the headline would be but I was in charge of writing the story of my life - AP would likely pick it up. Deadline was 11pm. At about 11:07, I accidentally deleted the entire story. No back-ups and only notes to use to redo over the next few minutes.

[Jill]

I used to have a habit of drinking milk straight from the carton when I was in college and living on my own. I went to my parents' beach condo for spring break for a week. When I came home, I don't know why it didn't dawn on me that things in my fridge were probably bad by now, but it didn't. So... I pulled out the carton and took a drink. Well, I guess you can't really drink chunks. Yuck.

[Jill]

Hey Greg....is there a limit to the number of entries/stupid stories that one can post?

[Eathan]

I don't know where to begin. I don't think I saw "one entry per person" anywhere, so the following advice comes from personal experience...

1. When being pulled by a car on a skateboard, don't hold onto the door. When you lose the skateboard in a large pothole, your legs will invariably go under the car and you'll have to hold onto the car long enough to get them out before you let go. It takes a lot longer than you want it to, and it hurts, a lot.

2. Despite what you hear about stuntmen who put some sort of flammable gel on to perform those flaming man stunts, don't try the same with any household products you can think of, especially not while wearing shorts. Rubbing alchohol is not a specially formulated gel designed to burn, yet not to burn you (and all your leg hair). It will in fact burn you. This also hurts a lot, and the burnt hair smell lasts ages. On the bright side though, at least you'll finally get to use your stop, drop and roll knowledge - providing you remember in time.

3. After a miserable winter night spent attempting to sleep in a cave with little more than a thin blanket and a bunch of junk a D&D nerd might pack into a bag for a weekend in the hills, no matter how miserable you might think you are, it can get worse. When calling it quits after the first night, before your scheduled parental pick up, walk the full distance home. Whatever you do, absolutely do not take the short cut and swim the river. It will be higher than you're used to in summer, and freakishly cold. You will spend the next 8-10 hours shaking uncontrollably, if you're lucky, and you'll likely still be bitter years later that your friend who waited high and dry wouldn't lend you his Chuck Taylors for the swim and walk after.

4. When using a nailgun... Nevermind, I swear that thing was defective. Not my fault.

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

Originally Posted by Jill

Hey Greg....is there a limit to the number of entries/stupid stories that one can post?

Absolutely not! Enter as many times as you want, just remember that to claim your prize money, you need to be signed up as an affiliate in the Stupid.com affiliate program in ShareAsale. I don't think that's too much to ask.

Sitting back and watching for more stupid stories...

[Eathan]

Originally Posted by Greg Hoffman Consulting

...just remember that to claim your prize money, you need to be signed up as an affiliate in the Stupid.com affiliate program in ShareAsale. I don't think that's too much to ask.

Application submitted. Giant Gummy Bears? Fantastic!

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

Originally Posted by Eathan

Application submitted. Giant Gummy Bears? Fantastic!

Approved.



Feel free to buy some! Tell us all about them.

[Eathan]

Originally Posted by Greg Hoffman Consulting

Feel free to buy some! Tell us all about them.

I just may. Right now though, I'm swamped with getting some data cleaned up for syndication. Too many irons in too many fires...

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

Originally Posted by Eathan

I just may. Right now though, I'm swamped with getting some data cleaned up for syndication. Too many irons in too many fires...

Eathan, I'll buy you a giant gummy bear. Send me your contact details via PM. Will you be at ASE10?

[Greg Hoffman Consulting]

More reasons why you should participate in this contest.

[Eathan]

Originally Posted by Greg Hoffman Consulting

Eathan, I'll buy you a giant gummy bear. Send me your contact details via PM. Will you be at ASE10?

Sweet! PM sent.

Unfortunately I haven't made it to an industry event in at least five years, maybe six. I keep meaning to make it to one of the Vegas events, but I just never find the time. If I did suddenly find some free time, sleep is my top priority. Two little boys and a business take a lot of energy...

[Jill]

Once wore 2 different shoes to work when I was pregnant. As you can imagine that brought up lots of jokes by my coworkers that day.