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Thread: Newspaper Headlines in the Year 2035 |
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#1
June 3rd, 2004, 10:58 AM
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Newspaper Headlines in the Year 2035
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. Spotted Owl plague threatens Western North America crops & livestock. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Lebanon) Afghanistan still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. 35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. Nursing home event... Bill Clinton denies allegations of affair with candy striper. Texas executes last remaining citizen. Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants. Baby conceived naturally.....scientists stumped. Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million. Ozone created by electric cars now killing thousands in Los Angeles. Average height of NBA players now nine foot seven inches. Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed. New California law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, and baseball bats be registered by January 2036. |
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#2
June 3rd, 2004, 12:20 PM
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SandraR:
Ozone created by electric cars now killing thousands in Los Angeles. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>OMFG, I couldn't stop laughing at that!
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Dr. Strangeweb, or how I learned how to stop worrying about SERPS and love the WOM. |
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#3
June 3rd, 2004, 01:28 PM
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> New California law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, and baseball bats be registered by January 2036.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Having lived in California I would say that this law will be introduced way before 2035. CDC
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I can't complain but sometimes I still do... |
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#4
June 3rd, 2004, 03:49 PM
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ROFL at all of those headlines!
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There is no knowledge that is not power. ~Hemingway |
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#5
June 3rd, 2004, 04:57 PM
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 "Supreme Court Justice Michael Moore casts the deciding vote overturning the Gay Marriage law.... no longer making it manditory."
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Webmaster's... Mike  and Charlie  "What have you done today to put real value into a referral click...from a shoppers viewpoint!" |
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#6
June 6th, 2004, 08:20 AM
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"President Chelsee Clinton signs into a law that automotive manufacturers have to recall and remove all right hand turn signals from their autos." Subliminal messaging laws take form over new Supreme Court rulings.
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Webmaster's... Mike and Charlie "What have you done today to put real value into a referral click...from a shoppers viewpoint!" |
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#7
June 7th, 2004, 11:53 AM
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some of those projections are not too far off!
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#8
June 28th, 2004, 02:12 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by SandraR: Nursing home event... Bill Clinton denies allegations of affair with Candy Striper. _______________________________________________________________ You can't stop Bill, you can only hope to contain him!!! ::thumbs:: |
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